Smiles of a Summer Knight

“We have all the time in the world,” Klim reminds him gently. “Do not rush.” 

Bones, palm down, fingers curled, his hand hovers over the board. 

“One-touch rule?” 

Klim shakes his head. “It is a stupid rule. I often brush pieces I have no wish to move.” 

Bones pulls back his arm. He rests his paw on his knee. 

The king’s pawn, pushed forward two squares. From Klim’s side of the board, the queen’s bishop’s pawn, that, too, is pushed up two squares. A Sicilian of little interest. Bones, he’s white, he knocks over a pawn as he lifts a piece. He straightens the pawn and plops the king’s knight in front of the king with a pathetic clack. From the dark side, Klim blocks the path of the king’s pawn with his own. Bones replies. f4; what would be a King’s Gambit, had it not been a move too late. 

When the dude you sit across from, when he has eyes to nab a piece - offer him two. Klim extends a hand. A dark pawn materializes on g5. They speak with their hands, with their moves. Bones won’t take the bait. That pawn, the king’s bishop’s man? He nudges forward. The black king’s knight leaps to f6, halts that odd little pawn… 

…A broad shaft of light drifts slowly across the checkered pattern…  

…Bones figures, Klim has his eye on that first pawn that kicked off the whole affair. Queen’s pawn to cover his back would be of no interest - queen’s knight rushes up to his post on c3 to lay down some cover instead. Klim, his fingers briefly weave together. He makes his play. Queen’s bishop’s pawn grinds up a notch. Bones isn’t sure why. That black pawn hovers on c4, and without any cover. A couple of rapid taps: knight, c3 to d5; black knight takes; at once, white pawn rushes the square and kicks off that same knight. That black queen, she comes into play. She moves up a diagonal to the right. 

Before the line fizzles to a halt, the last white knight rides up to f3. Klim, quick-fingered; a charcoal pawn dispatched to a6 eyes the white knight’s next leap. The shaft of light through the window glass wavers. Bones picks up a pawn and plops it back down. “Eff-five to eff-six,” he mumbles under his breath. A lovely thorn, the small white footman cuts off the dark king’s path. Klim slides forward the queen’s pawn to give the king some wiggle room. From the white camp, the queen’s pale-faced pawn does the same. He leaps into battle, hops two squares in his excitement. Of the two pawns he sees, Klim chooses en passant. “See-two, Dee-three,” Bones takes back material. Of course, Klim sees it. He slides his own queen to the left. Just that one square. Bones, yeah, we’ll trade. a-4, he offers his queen. Klim hops her up and loses his own queen to that white knight. Conventional wisdom, huh? Conventional wisdom tells, ‘a knight on the rim is dim’. Yeah… Klim sees that fork Bones will stick him with on the next move. His rook on a-file, Klim pushes one square, the only square open. Bones, his fork foiled, plods on with the plan. White knight, he hops the b-file. Klim, with a small shrug. Whatever. Klim’s king takes a small step to his right. Another trade clears the board: from b6, knight storms the back row, takes bishop. King takes knight. Somewhere a clock ticks. It is very faint. A small, steady mechanical click to time their thoughts. Bones sees that pawn hanging, black’s sole pawn on g-file. A straight shoot for white’s dark-square bishop. So he takes. Klim comes to and sees how he’s blocked many of his own pieces. Shit. The geezer sucks his teeth. Klim’s rook, dormant this whole time on that h-file, Klim slides it the only square he can, threatens that white bishop that just moved up on g. White replies with h4. h6 is how black lays his. The tempo picks up, and about time. From white’s camp, the queen’s rook shuffles two steps and checks the king. Black’s king side-steps and dodges. White’s dark-square  bishop takes two steps back. Klim eyes the a-file, sees the threat to his rook and rapidly returns the piece back to his original position. Bones takes the step to unclog the e-file: pawn, one square, d4. Pawn takes, bishop takes; Pawns traded, White’s bishop  now hangs on d. The coast on aisle e is completely clear. Activity tapers. The party of little interest rears its ugly little ass. Bones heaves himself up, shuffles the room aimlessly. Ten minutes slide down the crapper before Klim, at a dead-loss, plants the last knight on the board in front of his king. Wh-huh? Bones stares. Minutes pass. Quietly, Bones pushes b4. The rook to his left, Klim nudges two steps forward, places him gently next to a white pawn. The pawn Bones pushed not a moment before, he pushes again. Take take? Take take. A fight on b5. Pawn takes pawn, white-square bishop takes pawn. That man of the clergy now stares down the last knight on the board. Klim sees the a-pawn for the taking, but figures it better first to clean house. Klim takes the brawl to f6. Knight, take that pawn! You! Bishop! On the dark-square! The dark-square,  numbnuts! Grab that knight! The Rook! The Rook! The Rook stomps the bishop off the board. Bones takes his own right Rook, moves that Rook to stand by his king. Yes! Another trade! Rook takes Rook, King takes Rook. Meanwhile, black’s  Rook that’s over there on a-file snuffs the pawn Klim put his target on a few moves back. Now, the white king’s path forward is clean severed. White-square bishop takes a step back with an eye to put pressure on that Rook, but, you know, what can you do? Rook simply steps on the black square beside him, keeps the threat on that row. Bones turns away from that front, moves ahead with the pawns. g4. f-pawn slugs forward one step to meet them. Bones, just to be a dick, just to needle his sparring partner, pushes up his h-pawn. Klim taps his fingers, lightly smacks his hands. Here it is. The last unmoved piece comes into play. b5. What now? What now, Bones? White’s bishop is all but useless, and both men are B-O-R-E-D. For a while there, it seemed Bones had the leg up, but now he folds. A limp-wristed handshake is all he has to show. Bones, as though flicking plastic toy soldiers, playfully flicks his king and sends him halfway across the board.