I'm a Truth Seeker

"Are you sure none of your friends are acting like this?" he asked. I stared at the ceiling, then looked around the room. My eyes passed by the desk, populated by pens, papers, and lots of clips; by the windows creaked slightly open; and near the electrical cords plugged into the wall, running directly onto the table in my laptop in front of me.

"Yes, I just think that everyone is tired from this, especially her." I gestured, "Nothing to worry about."

I got up, unplugged my laptop and left.

"Hey, we're not finished."

*

That was the third time I was asked about it. I wanted to believe that this was a mere reaction to the recent work we were doing. I wanted to help. More often than not, many of my friends this way, but nearing the end of the year, something seemed to change. I thought about her, Janis. She was an "all-star", making her way through school coming out on top with every class. I then recalled the first day.

*

Going to the tech class was how I met her. She seemed to do very well the first day.

I walked over to her after the class on my way out. "Hi, you seem to be very good at tech."

She smiled, "Damn right. I am the best at what I do. You any good?"

"Yes. Very much, many people agree. But you like this class too. I guess we have that in common." I forced a smile. She smiled back.

"Look, I'm new here, so, I wondered, if you could help me navigate around the school and become imbedded in it. Call it friendship."

I agreed. I liked having a new friend, I thought it would mean this was a new point for me, where I could develop with someone who shared my interests. I really did believe it then.

*

It wasn't long after she gained many more friends, and as a result, I did too. Her life was a stepping stone for me, taking me to new heights and increasing a sense of confidence that I felt lacking in my early years. I took many of the same majors as her and no one seemed more close to her than me. Everyone noticed. It was for better or worse, although, I should say now, definitely for worse.

*

It was during the second year after I met her. I sat down at the lunch table where I usually sit near the end of the day. She came over and sat down with her laptop. I thought she was going to ask me about a problem that we usual solve together. But, instead, it was different.

"I need to ask you something." I gestured to her. "I wanted you to know that we have been in school for almost 2 years now and I'm starting to realize something.

"Today is a special day." I said, "It is my birthday."

She laughed, "Thanks for remembering, but that is not what I meant. "Sure" I said. "I don't think I am achieving all we can do in this school. i feel that maybe there's more for us if we made a few sacrifices."

I gave a cautious confused look, "Like what?"

"Like maybe spending time with our friends, or other commitments we may have. This is our future and we can't keep pretending that it will work out."

"So you don't want to be around people who can't keep up with you?"

She brushed a strand of hair out of her face, "Look, I just feel like there is is more potential for us than just what we're doing. I get so pressured by everyone doing this."

A student walked over and tried to sit, but she snapped, "Can you leave us."

"I'm wanted to ask a question about class."

"Don't care what you need. You don't understand what's happening. Get the hell away from us!"

I jumped as the student left. But I could feel her. There was a lot of pressure around all students here, especially us who made more projects than necessary in addition to outside school activities. But now, tension was rising. I needed to break the ice.

I got out a package from my backpack and handed it to her. "This is for you. Surprise."

She opened the brown paper with a label stating 'To Janis'. She held up her present and gripped me tight, "This is beautiful. Thank you so much."

*

That was the last stepping stone in our connected life. She and I often liked to work on projects together, oftentimes we programmed projects for classes. She was such a good person, what happened? I had hoped I would get an answer to that when she walked over to my table at noon that day; but that was for later to decide.

There was something I was missing, not seeing, I don't know. I wanted to believe this was mere argument. But the truth would be found when I sat down sat my Dean.

"Hey, we're not finished." he said.

I sat back down casually. "I have projects to do. This is nothing."

He sat up, "It is something, I need you to help me with it."

I was upset, "I am not turning against her. She has stood by me these past 2 years, I know she seems tough but is is because you push her too hard. She is not what you say she is."

"What I'm trying to say is that sometimes we may choose the wrong friends, or maybe you are the right friends but sometimes the world gets in the way of that. If you want you friendship with her to survive, you need to make her realize the truth. Be independent of her, because you are better and so is she, so help her Max."

Those words hit me. My entire world seemed to change. I knew what I had to do. I had to try. For her.

"Thank you sir."

*

It was the final few days of our third year. I was at the lunch table waiting for her, ready.

"How are you?" she asked as she sat down, setting her laptop on the table.

"Good, you the same?"

"Yes, oh, did you get those tacos today, with that special beef? They only come around few times a year. Hmm, the best."

I forced a nod. I began sweating. I got up and prepared to say what I had wanted to say for a long time. "We've been friends for a long time, but I realize that you only want to better yourself, you don't believe that anyone else can be as good as you. You treat everyone like you are superior to them. You were one of my best friends, but I can't keep this up unless you do better."

She gradually lost her smile as I finished. The people around me in the room seemed to freeze as I awaited a reaction.

Finished