NEVER AGAIN BABY I PROMISE.

Tina carefully ground the coffee beans using the mortar and pestle. Phil was still asleep and she wasn’t in a hurry to wake him up, besides, the last time she tried using an electric grinder, Phil yelled that he hated the noise and grabbed the appliance off of her before smashing it on the floor and forcing her to clean it up. She winced as she crushed the beans between the stone, her latest bruises were a couple of days old, but they still hurt as though they were fresh. But he'd tell her, he'd always say,"Never again mylove, I'll never hurt you again."

Every morning Tina would creep out of bed at around 5am and tidy up the mess that Phil had left in the flat from the night before. His evening rituals consisted of going down to the local Pub until gone midnight and arriving home in a drunken rage, usually angry at the fact that he had lost money at the bookies. Tina would lay in bed awake, listening to Phil shake the walls with his yelling and counting in her head how many objects he was breaking, which usually included smashed plates and the odd lamp. When he eventually barged into the bedroom, he would grab Tina by the hair and brutally beat her, before having forceful, ruthless sex with her. Afterwards he would fall asleep, if she was lucky. If he was in a particularly bad mood, the night could last much longer for her as he would hit her, burn her skin on radiators and strangle her. Although last night, Phil seemed to stay out longer than usual and hadn’t laid a hand on Tina at all. Tina wondered why he was out so late, but she was relieved to have a night off from Phil’s violent outbursts.

A sudden buzz alerted Tina to the phone on the kitchen counter as the ringtone began to play. It was Phil’s mobile. Afraid that the noise would interrupt Phil’s sleep, she quickly grabbed the phone. Phil had given her strict instructions not to touch or go through his phone and she was about to decline the call and turn off the phone, but she paused when she caught a glimpse of the caller ID. It was a known number under the name of Chantelle. Without thinking, Tina answered the call to shut up the sound bleeping from the device. She didn’t know any Chantelle and she was sure no one in Phil’s family had that name. Maybe he knows her from work, Tina thought to herself. She could have turned the phone off then, but Tina was curious as to who Chantelle was. She held the phone to her ear.

“Hello?” Tina whispered, slowly pacing towards the opposite end of the flat from the bedroom. The last thing she wanted was for Phil to find her using his phone.

“Oh, hi.” The voice on the phone was a woman, she sounded young. There was a taunting playfulness in her voice. “Is this Phil’s phone?”

“Yes it is, but he’s asleep right now, can I help you?” Tina was eager to learn what Phil’s connection was with this woman, not that she suspected anything of him. Phil had been with Tina for over two years and no matter how much he insulted her, no matter how much he beat her and abused her, she knew that he loved her and would always be faithful to her.

“Well, it’s just that he left his wallet at my place last night…” These words from the strange woman shook Tina. He went to another woman’s apartment? Why would he do that? Tina did not have time to quiz the woman about Phil’s actions last night as she suddenly heard movement coming from the bedroom.

Panicking, she abruptly ended the call with Chantelle, placing the phone exactly where Phil had left it and quickly made herself look busy by continuing to grind the beans in the mortar and pestle. The bedroom door flew open and Phil stood there in nothing but his boxer shorts. His body was covered in obnoxious tattoos underneath a layer of thick hairs. He rubbed his eyes, which were shadowed by his protruding brow. Tina used to lovingly refer to him as her ‘monkey’, but that was a long time ago when they first met, eventually he took it as an insult when she called him it and punched her in the stomach.

He stumbled over to the couch, slouching down onto it and turned the on the TV using the remote, not once acknowledging Tina’s presence.

“Where’s my Coffee, Tina?” He said in an overpowering tone which gave the impression that if the coffee was not ready, Tina would be in trouble. Tina cursed herself for getting distracted by the phone call.

“I’m just grinding the beans now. I’m sorry it’s not ready, I’ll get up earlier in future.”

“Fucking, useless bitch.” Phil sighed as he switched the TV over to the sports channel. “Just hurry the fuck up will ya?”

Tina didn’t apologize again. She knew that it was best to just keep quiet and get on with what she was told in situations like these. She finished grinding the beans and poured them into the coffee machine. She had already measured out the water and proceeded to pour it into the appliance before turning it on.

“Do us a fried egg butty”. Scoffed Phil with his eyes still glued to the TV. “And is that Coffee done or what?” The coffee was still filtering through.

“We don’t have any eggs” replied Tina in an apologetic tone, trying to avoid answering about the coffee.

“Well, looks like you’ll be going to shops then won’t you?”

“Right, yeah, of course.” Tina answered. “I need to do a bit of shopping anyway”. She tried to make herself feel better by acting as though she had already intended to go to the shops, but it didn’t work.

Tina breathed a sigh of relief when the coffee was finally ready, any longer and Phil may have got angry with her but he seemed too distracted by now with whatever match he was watching.

She poured the fresh coffee into Phil’s favorite mug. He used to complain that regular sized mugs were not big enough for the amount of coffee he wanted, so Tina bought him an extra-large mug for Christmas last year. All that Phil gave Tina last year was numerous bruises and a permanent scar on her forehead. She added his usual three sugars to the coffee and started to stir the mug with a teaspoon. She wouldn’t need to add milk, Phil liked his coffee black.

Tina began to wonder again about the mysterious Chantelle. Who is she and why was Phil at her place last night? She told herself that nothing will have happened. Phil would never cheat on her, so what would be the harm in asking. She plucked up the courage to speak to him, after all it was probably nothing.

“Phil?” she said, still with her back to him, stirring the tea with the spoon as if it was just a passing question. “A woman called Chantelle called you this morning…” She heard the creak of the leather couch as Phil turned around from facing the TV and looked at Tina for the first time all morning.

“You were going through my phone?” He spoke as though he was disgusted with her. Immediately, Tina regretted asking. She had forgotten that in asking about Chantelle, it would make Phil aware that she had used his phone that morning, which he had warned her not to. She instantly leapt to defend her actions.

She turned to face him, her eyes begging for forgiveness. “You were asleep and the phone was ringing, I thought you might like to sleep in, so I answered it without thinking. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. She said that you had left your wallet at her place last night…”

Phil scowled. “Fuck sake, I wanted to go to the bookies later as well. I’ll have to go all the way up town now.” Phil sighed. “Oh wait.” Phil turned back around and began watching the TV again. “You can go get it for me when you go to shops in a bit.”

Nothing in Phil’s reply indicated that he had done anything wrong. He acknowledged that he had been at this woman’s apartment. If he had fooled around with her, he would have tried to cover it up somehow, or at least, hesitated. Tina knew Phil and was sure nothing had happened. Still, she was curious to find out just who Chantelle was and why Phil was with her.

Tina relaxed a little and was just finishing Phil’s coffee, when she asked him, “So, is Chantelle a friend or do you know her from work?”

She could hear the couch creak for a second time as Phil turned around, although this time more slowly.

“What do you think?” He smirked. Tina shrugged it off.

“I don’t know. I was just wondering what you were doing at her place that’s all.” She began to stir the coffee again, not wanting to look Phil in the eyes. He stood up from the couch and slowly stomped over to Tina. He stood directly behind her. Tina half expected him to smack her in the back of the head. She braced herself, ready for any impact.

“You wanna know what I was doing last night?” Phil had an evil grin on his face, although Tina did not see as she was too afraid to turn around. She could feel it in his voice.

Phil stretched his words for a greater impact. “I was at Chantelle’s place all night, fucking her brains out.”

Tina froze. The clanging sound of the metal spoon against the ceramic texture of Phil’s mug suddenly stopped.

Phil continued. “I never even went to the fucking pub. Me and Chantelle ‘av been at it for months and you only just noticed something now? You really are dumber than I thought you were, you fucking slow, idiot bitch.”

Tina had experienced pain at the hands of Phil, but no amount of physical pain caused from the beatings, the scolding’s, the torture, none of it compared to the pain that throbbed through Tina’s heart at that very moment.

“And I’ll tell you something else,” Phil carried on, “she’s in a whole other league compared to you. She’s younger, fitter and she knows how to fuck me right, unlike you. You’ve properly let yourself go, you fat ugly cow. I might even go and get my wallet myself later and get in for a quick shag while I’m there.”

Tina began to tremble. Her hand clenched the handle of the coffee mug. She was holding onto it so tight that her fingernails dug into her palm. Phil grabbed the back of Tina’s hair, causing her to gasp in pain. He pulled her head back, shooting agony all around Tina’s head and he edged his lips towards her ear.

“And, while I’m gone, you’re gonna stay here and clean this fucking filthy flat and if you’ve got anything to say to me, you can tell it to my fist when I’m smashing your fucking teeth in.”

He let go of Tina’s hair and shoved her head forward. Phil began to walk away, “It would probably be an improvement with the state of your face”. He turned back around to face her. “Now where’s that fucking coffee?”

Tina stood motionless for a fraction of second, before shooting around to face Phil with his coffee weighing heavily in her hand. She looked at him with daggers in her eyes and fury in her breath and for an instant, Phil’s face contained a look of surprise which rapidly morphed into shocked fear as Tina screamed and hurled the boiling contents of the large coffee mug into his face.

The unforgettable sounds that came from Phil when the blistering hot liquid made its way into his eyes could be heard throughout the apartment block. Phil dropped to his knees with his hands shuddering around his anguish-filled face. He swore and cursed at Tina through his screams. Tina thought she heard him say ‘Fucking Whore’, but her mind was ablaze with anger and hatred, and her heart was full of betrayal and revenge as she reached for the still-simmering glass coffee pot, still half-full ready for what would have been Phil’s second cup.

She picked up the heavy glass jug and turned to look at Phil, writhing and howling on the floor, like a demented animal. She raised the jug above her head, ignoring the stabbing pain from the bruises on her arm and roared as she brought down the glass to collide with the top of Phil’s skull. She was left just holding the handle as the glass had smashed upon impact. Phil’s body slumped to the floor and a pool of a mixture of coffee and blood began to grow from underneath him.

The whole world fell silent. All that could be heard was Tina breathing heavily as she watched Phil’s lifeless body lay limp on the floor. Tina’s heart sank and her mind became erratic as the sudden realisation hit her. She leant with her back against the kitchen cabinets, crouched down, folding her arms around her knees, and wept.