The Cereal Box

“Thanks a lot.”

I turn toward the voice of what I thought was a surly teenager but quickly realize is in fact a woman in a wrinkled navy suit. She is staring at me as if I just cut her off on a busy freeway when she was trying to get to work instead of removing a cereal box from the shelf of my local Stop and Shop. 

“Excuse me, did I bump into you” I say confused. I didn’t think I had touched her in any way, but I could be wrong. My purse is rather large.

“No” she sighs. “But you did just take the last box of Crunchy O’s.”

Still confused, I look at the shelf where I see a fully stocked shelf of sugar covered cereal all neatly lined up ready for purchase.  I point to the shelf and the boxes. “Umm you are mistaken, there are plenty more”.  

 After the day I have had, I really can’t be bothered with people and their trivial cereal issues. I had spent 4 hours in a deposition recalling all the times my soon to be ex-husband betrayed the sanctity of our marriage. The last time, and straw that broke the camel’s back, was in MY bed. I had a front row seat after opening the door of our bedroom to change clothes (after my spin class was cancelled) to see him executing one of the 3 moves he had in his lovemaking arsenal. It wasn’t as shocking as it might sound, after all Jack had hardly been faithful in our 7-year marriage but his was the first time I had seen it with my own two eyes. I cleared my throat and saw a pouf of blonde hair move from underneath my husband, heard a scream, then limbs and bedding and bodies tossing about until I was staring at them both face to face. My husband, a real gentleman, said “Honey, this is Cassie.” Like he was introducing me to his sister. This was clearly not his sister.

 Like I said, it wasn’t the first but definitely the last. And exactly what I needed to get a divorce and not be held to the prenup I had signed before we got married because my darling husband had put in an adultery clause that stated if he was ever unfaithful, I would receive my full settlement. Oh, but he is good. This afternoon I was presented a signed copy of my prenup in which no adultery clause existed. It had magically disappeared. I was being conned by that cheating asshole and had no clue how I was going to prove otherwise. I was so naive and in love when I married him, I didn’t retain my own legal counsel and let his attorneys take care of it. Stupid me.

Then this afternoon he has the audacity to call me saying he made a terrible mistake, he could be in real trouble, and I must help him.  He hurt his wrist when he hit a dog with his car earlier today near our house and needed me to get him a brace and some Advil at the store. And stupid me I agree, but when I get here, I decide he can screw himself and head toward the cereal aisle. So, no I am not having a great day.  I spin myself around with cereal in hand and head the opposite direction of women.

Not today lady. 

“No, you don’t understand, that is the only box that has the Dinamo Figurine in it.” 

All I wanted after the day, hell last 7 years I have had, was to drown my sorrows in my favorite childhood cereal. I have denied myself for years. Lived on chicken and lettuce and exercised to keep myself the perfect size to please my cheater of a husband and it hadn’t mattered. He still wasn’t satisfied with me.  So today I made the conscious decision to get my favorite cereal and eat the whole damn thing if I choose, and this person is ruining it for me.

“Seriously lady, it’s a box of freaking cereal! Who cares what stupid toy is inside!” I screamed.

She looks at me devasted. I look at her for the first time and see something in her eyes, a desperation. I really thought she may be mentally ill or something. This is not making sense.

“I realize this is just a box of cereal with a stupid toy. But what you don’t understand is 2 weeks ago my son asked me for Crunchy O’s cereal with Dinamo figure in it. He was obsessed with it, relentless even, that he had to have this cereal with this blue dinosaur small enough to fit in a cereal box. But for some reason it meant the world to him. Well, guess what, I was too obsessed with my career to get my child what he asked for. Now, today, my son was hit by a car and the person didn’t even slow down long enough to see what they had done! My son was laying on 5^th Street and is now unconscious in a hospital bed and when he wakes up I have to have this cereal, THIS cereal box, waiting for him because it will make him so happy.” Tears are rolling down her contorted face as she stands pleading with me for my box of cereal.  I look at her and hand her the box. The look of gratitude on her face was almost too much to bear. “I am so sorry about your son. I pray he gets better soon.” I quickly turn around, and as fast as I can, walk down the aisle, out the door and to my car. As I pull out of the parking lot, my heart is racing.

My god that poor child, that poor mother! I can’t imagine what she was going through. 

To have your child injured by a person so horrible they couldn’t even stop and check on them or take responsibility for it. What has the world come to?

 But luckily, I have a way to make the world seem a little better. 

I turn off 5^th Street, pull into my driveway, hit the garage door and stare at my husband’s car. The front headlight smashed in. I walk around to see the side dented in. He is so self-obsessed he thought he had hit an animal and not somebody’s child. Dear God what a mess. 

But I am here to help my husband.

 I will be there to hold his hand when he finds out that he didn’t hit a dog, as he thought, but an innocent Crunchy O’s eating, Dinamo loving little boy.

 I will keep his secret and he will find that original prenup that disappeared.

 I don’t know this sweet little boy, but I say out loud as I close the garage door and smile.

“Thanks a lot”.