Him

Content Warning: Physical violence and gore, mental health, insanity

The crinkle of leaves echoed across the cave.

At the deepest part of the grotto was a man crouched over the corpse of a rabbit, hard at work. Blood covered his hands.

A pile of guts and organs sat in the corner, quenching the porous rock around it with that crimson ink. Next to it stood a mound of long, blonde hair — his own. His scalp ached from having ripped out nearly half of his head of hair. Bald patches littered his head, his hair now vastly sparse.

As he shoved dried leaves and twigs into the open cut he had made along the rabbit’s tummy, he smiled with growing excitement. He looked out at his group of friends, all upright and stuffed. Anticipation filled his own belly. He could not wait to meet his newest friend. He took a thin sliver of stone, his makeshift needle, and threaded a strand of hair through the two flaps of skin, beginning at the end of the cut. Stitch after stitch, he worked until the wound was closed.

“You like your new home, Eddie?”

He pushed its head, so it looked as if Edward were nodding in agreement. He often did this with his companions. Converse, chat, play.

It wasn’t his fault he got lonely drowning in solitude in this dreary old cavern. He backed away from Edward, flapping his limbs to dry the blood-soaked cloth that hung from them.

Once the largest pieces of the viscera were off, he stood and considered the rabbit that lay on the stone floor. Edward. The name had been obvious after the sound of the riveting crack of its spine that day at the riverbank. He had sat there for hours afterward, cradling him, with his legs submerged in the rushing stream.

“It’s okay,” he had whispered into those long, newly lifeless ears, “It’s all going to be okay.” Then he had kissed him on the nose in the same way he did now in the cave. Brief and gentle.

Edward’s fur was much more faded than it had been the day he found him hopping around by the river. His light brown fur had been visible from behind a cluster of strawberry plants he fed on. The bright red of the perfectly ripe.

Finally, he sat the rabbit down in his circle of friends and settled himself in the last remaining space. A porcelain tea set rested at the center of the circle. He picked up the cups stacked among the tea set. He couldn’t help but giggle as he distributed the cups around the circle.

“Ready, guys?” he uttered, looking each of his companions in their pinned-open eyes. His hands trembled as he lifted the white teapot and poured muddy water into the fox’s cup, then the deer’s, then the squirrel’s.

“Let’s get you some, alright?” As he reached forward to pour into Edward’s cup, he knocked over the squirrel’s teacup. “Oh!” he exclaimed, “Oh no, let’s fix that.” He lifted the cup upright and filled it once more. Tears pricked his irises. “That’s better.” With great effort, he forced the corners of his lips upward.

A voice from a life long abandoned escaped from the fox’s mouth. Such a klutz.

A fire bright as the sun burned in his eyes as he glared at the fox. “What?” he yelled. Before he knew it, he had whacked the fox, and it went flying across the room. His chest heaved up and down in rapid breaths.

A frigid breeze howled outside the cave, and the patter of violent rain drummed against the shell of the cavern. A bird called out particularly loudly. He flinched so hard, half the water in his cup spilled out. “God! I hate those darn things. So loud.” He fingered the knife in his pocket and looked to Edward.

“I’ll be back, Ed.” After flicking him on the forehead, he set off to get the day started.

As he strolled through his home, it only got brighter. The mouth of the cavern was at the very end of the path. At this point, a glimmer of sunlight managed to touch the very tips of his toes. Crouching, he ran the back of his hand along the various other treasures he kept on the floor: a caribou, a handful of mushrooms, seashells, and a toaster oven.

He found the last one at the very brink of his pebble-filled residency at dusk just a few sleeps ago. Up he had marched into the meadow, lit by the evening sun, after hearing a peculiar noise from that spot, a Ding! that echoed and bounced around off the rock walls.

And there it was.

Completely silver except for the small, clear plastic door, it sat unremarkably in the twilight edge of the cave's shadow, neither gleaming in the sun nor completely drowned in the darkness. He thought maybe someone from the distant town went camping and had left it there, or perhaps it had always been there, and he had never noticed. Either way, it unsettled him.

Nothing strange like that had occurred since, however, so it had been used for the past couple days as a home for four of his prized mice. He opened it slightly, peered inside. He was met with sight of the two pairs of mice mating. Quickly, he slammed it shut again and kept walking.

He marched on with vigor. There was no time for more distractions. The days passed quickly for him.

So, he began the long haul.

Up and up. Tripping on weeds in the cracks once or twice, distracted anew by a particularly nice portobello and up and onward once more.

By mid afternoon, he had reached the peak at last. Damp blades of grass tickled his feet. Ahead of him lay the stream where he found Edward. That damn magical stream of company. He walked towards the sounds of the dashing current, watching the river when he arrived. He dropped to his knees once he made it to the patch of grass directly before it and his pants began to soak from the wet grass. He lowered his body further into the grass until he was completely laid down on his front.

Instantaneously, a streak of blue raced across the bunch of trees nearby, then became still. He lifted his head slightly to see the low branch the patch of blue rested on. From where he lay, he realized it was a bird — a blue jay. Steadily, he raised the knife from his side pocket and watched. For a few seconds, neither of them moved. Then, the bird took flight once more, darting from branch to branch. A blaring caw emerged from its dainty beak. He aimed for a spot a couple feet ahead of where it currently was on its path, where it ought to be in a few seconds. When finally, it flew to the spot, he threw the blade sharply. The blade pierced the creature, and it fell limp into the meadow.

He stood, hopped over the river, and walked over to it. Picking it up from the grass, he plucked the blade from its corpse and inspected the bloody wound in its abdomen. He stroked its soft feathers, poked his finger on its pointy beak. Suddenly, another familiar voice rang from somewhere in his vicinity. A more feminine, soft, and mature voice this time, he realized, resonated from the bird’s carcass: What did you do?

Another surge of rage flooded his body. Instantly, he took a bite out of its head. Tore its wings off its frame. Ripped its lifeless body to shreds with his jagged teeth. As he sat there with the remnants of the bird, he began to cry.

Suddenly, a voice from above spoke. “Dearest child, what’s wrong?”

His eyes widened as his head snapped up to the sky. He sniffled and stammered, “Not you again!”

The sky began to swirl and stretch. “Tell me what concerns you.”

“I’m lost."

"No, you're not. You know the way back to your cavern."

"I can’t go back there."

"And why not? It is your home."

"I have no one."

"You have Edward."

He let out a pained cackle and fell to the earth. He clawed into the grass until black dirt came up under his fingernails. He shrieked, "Edward is a dead rabbit!"

A crash of thunder shook the landscape around them. Lightning illuminated the ominous face in the clouds, revealing sharp features. A dramatically upturned nose, narrowed eyes, and corners of its mouth creeping up inch by inch every time he turned back to it.

“I need to get back to my family. They can forgive me somehow.”

“How? You told me they exiled you and we both know what you did.”

A splatter of blood on the living room television.

“Your father.”

A pair of horrified eyes. A head of cropped, dark hair with grey hairs scattered throughout. His wrinkled veiny neck calling, begging to be severed.

“And where is he now?”

The screams of his younger siblings. Mother’s stare somehow both piercing and vacant, as if she was seeing straight through him. “They didn’t exile me.” he breathed, “I left.” The soil beneath him stuck to his legs and hands. A mixture of tears and snot and rain ran all over his face

“Because you didn’t want to hurt another human. Ever again.”

He looked again at the entity in the heavens and smiled. Because it was a face. An alive, human face.

The entity in the sky seemed to ponder, pulsing. Then, it stopped, apparently reaching a conclusion.

“I can help you.”

He sat there smiling at the face above for minutes, hours maybe, until suddenly, a bolt of lightning seized him, lifting him off the ground. Electricity snaked through every blood vessel, every bone and ligament in his body. It surged through his entire figure until cool toned light emanated from his core, caressing him like a mother holding her son.

–

When he returned to the cavern, his friends stood at the entrance, welcoming him home.

“You must be tired, long journey,” said the squirrel, pacing back and forth with an acorn in tow.

The deer stretched its neck, facing up to the cavern’s ceiling. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

The fox was playing with a rock behind the other two. He walked closer, and it looked up from the rock and smiled.

He smiled back and sauntered into the cave.

Dawn cracked open at the cavern’s entrance. Cardinals chirped in delight outside.

Ding!

Another toaster oven identical to the one he already had sat further down the tunnel, closer to his quarters than the other one. Slowly, he walked over to it and leaned down to open the flimsy transparent trap. Inside, a yellowed piece of paper the size of his palm lay on the grill tray. He pulled the tray outward and took the paper. He turned it over and read, ‘Come home, son.”

A cardinal flew on top of the oven.

With a vacant look in his eyes, he fed the piece of paper to the cardinal. Then, he promptly scooped up the oven and placed it in his collection on the floor.

At last, at the very end of the tunnel, he spotted a light brown rabbit hopping over to him. He patted Edward on the head. “Nice day today.”

Edward responded, its mouth really moving. He could see it. “Yes, it is.”