0 comments
I have men’s intuition. Nobody’s heard of men’s intuition or maybe they have? Think of it like “Gibb’s gut” from NCIS on CBS. Something feels off. I’m a medium/psychic so I would know. It’s Christmas and it feels off. Kind of like gaydar, but not gaydar. It’s Christmas, I’m sober. Everything should be good. I’m home, got an alarm system, lights are on, but I have an inclination and every time I ignore my intuition, I regret it. But I don’t know what it’s trying to tell me. What good is intuition if I don’t know what it’s trying to tell me. Son-of-a-bitch. Why did God give me this gift if He/She won’t . . . “Cancel, cancel.” “Erase, erase.” Archangel Michael, what is my intuition trying to tell me? You don’t know? Then who does? JC. But JC is always busy with 6 billion people’s bullshit. Fine, see if JC can tell you or me what bad shit my intuition is trying to tell me. He’s busy? Busy with what? Damn it. I told you, JC’s always busy. He loves everyone on Earth but me. He does? Then how come he never has time to speak . . . I know, I know. But . . . Fine, see if St. Thomas is there. Yeah, I know your prayer. But, then why did God give it . . . I know. Don’t take His name in vain. Take it in the artery. But, can you take it away. The intuition. Yes, I know it’s a gift, but did You save the receipt? I didn’t ask for it, though. Yea, but . . . Why me? Why not give this to a rabbi, a priest, a politician, or someone who would want this. I don’t want it. I didn’t ask for it. Yeah, I know God knows more than I do. I know God gave it to me. God invented AIDS, cancer, what am I Job? Why me?
Why can’t I question God? If God is all knowing, shouldn’t God answer my questions? Yes, I know, but . . . Does God have a supervisor? What do I think? How the hell should I know? I know I have intuition. That’s why I’m asking Him/Her to remove or amputate my intuition. Why not? Why doesn’t it work that way? Well, ask Him/Her how it does work. Yes, I can wait.
*
Yes, I’m listening. Ok, I’m an organ system, made of organs, tissues. Ok, I AM listening. Ok, were these things down to sub-subatomic particles. Yes. And were two-thirds water. No shit. We’re Spirits with bodies, not bodies with Spirits. The square / rectangle analysis. I know this. Everything’s vibration, I’m moving while I’m standing still. I took Psychic 101, what I want to know is how to unlearn Psychic and Intuitive and 101. What? Do I need to drink booze, smoke pot, snort crack, what? How do I unexpand or expand in a way where I know what to do with this shit? Think of it like going through school? No. No more similes, no more metaphors, just tell me how to know what the fuck to do with this bullshit or take it away from me.
No, I don’t want to be put on hold for JC. Fuck JC. Let me talk to his Father. Yes, I know it’s the same Guy, but maybe His Father will pick up the fucking phone. Good. That’s what I’m talking about.
*
He uses a rotary phone so I have to use a rotary phone. Why? If He’s God and He knows everything, why don’t He know how to use a Smart Phone? Fine, give me the fucking phone from the goddamn Stone Age. I always hated these damn things. That and the old library catalogs. Fine, what’s His number? 777. That’s it? Not the first billion numbers of pi? Fine, and just for fuck’s sake, why 777? Because it’s 111 over 666. That doesn’t even make any sense. Whatever. Fine. Pick up the receiver and turn this piece of shit to seven, three times.
I don’t hear anything. Yes, goddamn it, I heard a dial tone. Wait, I think I hear something. What the fuck? My number cannot be completed? Please check my number and try again. But, St. Thomas said . . .
Can I speak to your supervisor? Your supervisor is JC and JC’s supervisor is God. Morons. What? What does my intuition tell me to do in this situation? It doesn’t tell me to do anything. But just tells me something bad is going to happen to me, my house, or someone or something else, but it doesn’t tell me what or who?
Yes, I know it’s a gift from God Tell God thank You but no thank You. What about all the still borns, patients who’ve “died and gone to Heaven”, can’t Almighty God kill my fucking Intuition and put it there? No, why not? It defies Natural Law. So does a Virgin having a Baby, so does not dying on the cross. That’s different. Why? All I want you to do is kill my intuitiveness. Why not?
Because if I practice, my intuition will become clearer. No, I don’t want clearer, I want a blank TV screen. I want the power to go out on it. He/She can’t. Will it go away if I kill myself?
No, great. Hell, no one’s even heard of men’s intuition. It’s not even on the web. If I look up “men’s guts,” I get websites for weight loss. What? No, I don’t want to start a website about men’s intuition. I want to start a website about how to lose this or maybe find one. Let’s see.
No, nothing on the web about that. Think about the evolutionary advantage. Humans don’t have predators anymore. I’m not a soldier. What is the advantage of . . . It’ll make sense? When will it make sense?
Fine, who am I to question God? But, I still have this feeling like something bad’s gonna happen to me, my house, my family, or something and I don’t know what to do about it. Let me say that again. What do you want me to do about it, God? Just let it be, but why tell me? Why pick? I’m going in circles? What would You do if you were me? Practice and take classes. We’re All going in circles and banging our heads against the wall. God and JC are dead ends? But, how do You? Why not question authority? No one questioned Hitler.
Look, there’s nothing I can do, unless You are all imposters and not JC, God, or the Holy Spirit. Maybe You’re Satan in disguise. If I sell you my Soul, can You make the Intuition go away? You’re not. How do I know that? Pinch myself? That’ll just tell me if I’m sleeping. I’m not sleeping. Deep, weird, meditation? Then why do it to . . Talking in circles? What shape would you recommend I talk in? Bastard.
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
0 comments