Paranoid Delusions

The wind buffeted him wildly, and the rain hammered down relentlessly. He was walking near the local creek, which was connected to the suburbs storm water drains, but this particular area was just rocks, shrubs, trees and water. Hastily, he made his way down to the muddy stream, which at this time was pitch black, and stepped into the water. This would be a sort of baptism. He descended into the water, and dunked himself in it. It was too shallow to cover his entire body, so he splashed some water onto his head.

Now he was ready for whatever this night held in store for him. As he ascended the side of the creek, he saw before him the well-trimmed grass soccer field, lit by down lights on the large steel poles surrounding it, and began to stagger in its direction. Soon he was standing in the middle of the field, wet from the downpour. He felt alone, not physically alone – there were cars going up and down the road next to the field, but as far as he knew, nobody knew he was out here.

But strangely, he saw someone approaching in the light. It was a middle-aged man. Thunder boomed across the field.

“What are you doing out here?”

Best to be truthful.

“I’m waiting for the world to end. Have you come to join me?”

Lightning lit up the sky.

“Yes. I’m out here for the same reason.”

They both turned and looked at the houses, whose steel back fences met the side of the field.

“Do you think were the only ones who know?”

The rain belted down on them both.

“I think so.”

The thunder from the lightning rumbled heavy and hard, as more great arcs lit up the sky, and the rain became heavier.

The man looked at him through the gelatinous downpour. “How did you get here.”

He replied in a frantic rush. “I’ve been walking through this night down many different paths. I honestly couldn’t tell you how I got here, I just kept on walking. Eventually I hit the creek over there, and then I came to this field.”

The wind battered them, causing the rain to hit them in an angular fashion, directly on their face.

The man came up to him, soaking wet, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Tell me your name, we need to pass the time somehow.”

The rain began to subside, and the wind became calmer. He responded. “My names Jack, who are you anyway?”

The man looked at the ground, his hand still on his shoulder. “I’m David. Tell me everything you know about why you’re here. Tell me everything you know about the world ending.”

He sat down, and the man sat with him. “I left my car when the radio started sounding funny. Just got out and left it where it was. It wasn’t just the radio; I felt like the car was going to lock me in any second. I walked and walked, and when I got to some shops, I heard people laughing at me, but I just ignored them and opened the Bible. I was sitting on a concrete barrier, and the pages just started to turn, slowly at first, but then faster and faster, till it stopped at the book of Revelation.”

“Ah the book of Revelation. The prophecy of the end times. But don’t you think that maybe it was just the wind?”

Jack’s face tightened, and his teeth gritted. “It was a sign! I know a sign when I see one!”

A loud thundercrack shook the earth. He began to pace back and forth, and then turned to face David, his voice trembling despite his efforts, words spilling out too fast, fingers twitching against the damp grass.

“The end of the world is when God returns his son Jesus back to the world to judge everyone. Everything great we have built, all the technology we have created, it won’t make any difference. Everything will be destroyed to be remade again. All the wicked will be sent to hell, while those who believe will be given new bodies and will live forever with God – Jesus – in their midst.”

“I see.” Said David. “I’m not going to debate your beliefs with you, I respect your choice, but tell me, what made you think it’s happening right now?”

He began to pace again. “It started as a feeling. I was feeling so amped up, and then I saw the pages turn on my Bible. And then this crazy storm started happening. And I’ve had this horrible feeling, like a thousand people are watching me at once. If I close my eyes, I can almost see them looking at me. And then when I was in my car, I heard people singing my name. I don’t know why they were doing that. Maybe they want me to think I’m special, so I’ll think I am the messiah. But I’d be a false messiah, so I can’t let them control me.”

David replied softly. “I can see there is a lot going on for you. Let’s break this down. So, the storm made you feel more alert, more vigilant. The way you said it before, it was as if your feelings created the storm. But don’t you think the storm might have been what – in your words – amped you up, and not the other way around?’

The wind became gentle.

He continued, his voice calm and reassuring. “And the feeling of being watched. This could be paranoia. Many people who become paranoid feel they are being watched. And when you heard people singing your name; are you sure that’s what you heard? Do you think maybe you misheard, or perhaps you’re hallucinating? In any case, you left your car running in the middle of the road, I hope it hasn’t been stolen.

His shoulders slumped. The clouds were clearing, and a few stars were visible through the soccer field lights.

“Everything your saying could be true. But, if I can’t trust my own feelings, how can I know anything? I’m a Christian, I believe God can talk to me. Is God deceiving me?”

Silence descended upon them, with only a faint breeze gusting back and forth. David smiled. “Listen, I respect your beliefs, and I’m sure that there is something in those beliefs that allows for God to communicate with you in certain ways, but let me tell you something…” He opened his wallet and pulled out a card. “I am not actually here for the end of the world, I’m here to find you. I’m a psychologist in the public mental health care system. Your parents have reported you missing, and I’m here because your phone allowed us to track you. That might sound like a breach of privacy, but believe me it’s in your own interest. Right now, I believe you are mentally unwell, and I want to help you. Look at the both of us out here, soaked from head to toe. I need you to follow me over to my car so we can take you somewhere where we have medicine that can help calm you down. It’s going to be hard at first, the medication isn’t perfect. But if you keep taking it you will get used to the side effects, and then things like this won’t happen again hopefully.”

He looked down, wondering at everything he had just heard. “How do I know your telling the truth? How do I know your going to take me somewhere and torture me? You know the world is filled with people who hate Christians. How do I know your not a Satanist and part of a plan to make me lose my faith?” Tears began to fall from his eyes. “I believe that God can get me through anything, but honestly I don’t know if I could hold up under torture.”

The wind began to pick up again.

David’s face took on a look of empathy. “All I can say is that I promise I’m here to help you. If God is going to communicate with you, it will help if you’re thinking straight, and that’s what were going to try to do. Help you to be able to think without succumbing to delusions and paranoia. I’ve seen many cases like yours, and I really do feel for the people we treat. Will you come with me?”

He felt a sense of resignation.

“Alright, I’ll come with you.”

Though the ground was soaked, he could feel the firmness of the earth beneath his feet. The two of them walked off the field. The air was now completely still, and crickets could be heard chirping in the night air.