"What's falling on me?"

Written in response to: End your story with a character standing in the rain.... view prompt

4 comments

Drama Crime

 It was just like any other day for me. Father Lamech was pleased with the progress I had made with my crops. I went to show him my new plantations of crops. He came with me and praised me. Elated, I shared with him my plans to extend this agriculture. I wanted to send my products to other parts and make a lot of profit.

                                   As we were walking back home, we saw a commotion at the town square. One old gentleman was standing up and saying something. Many townsfolk, gathered there, were heckling him. My father, Lamech, walked off home. He must have been feeling hungry, as it was late in the morning. But I stayed on and tried to find out what the matter was.

                             Walking right into the crowd, I saw that an old man who was addressing the people. Then I remembered, this old man, Noah, had been involved in a strange project to build a boat and was going on talking about some God and judgment. Many of the townsfolk were talking about him. Now, Noah was saying, "Faithless men, maddened by passion, do not forget the great things God has done; for the immortal, all-provident Saviour knows all things, and he has commanded me to be a messenger to you, lest you be destroyed by your madness. Sober yourselves, cease from your evil practices and from murderous violence against each other, soaking the earth with human blood.

                                   Reverence, my fellow mortals, the supreme and unassailable creator in heaven, the imperishable God who dwells on high. Call upon him, all of you (for he is good) to be merciful to you all. For this whole vast world of men will be destroyed with water and you will then utter cries of terror. Suddenly the elements will turn against you and the wrath of the Almighty God will come upon you from heaven. There will be a great deluge and you will not be able to save yourself.”

                                   Seeing my brother Tubal Cain amongst the crowd, I took him aside.

                                   "Who is this old man and what is he selling?"

                                   "Oh! he is some madcap. He is building a boat of sorts. It will sail in waters, he says, and will save us. I think he is expecting a huge worldwide flood to come and deluge us all soon."

                                   "Really! What do you think of what he says, Tubal?"

                                   "It is a load of bollocks, Bro. Let's not waste any more time. I was hanging around because I wanted to see the techniques they are using to build the so-called ark. That is worth watching."

                                   Let me tell you one thing. I was not talking to Tubal for some time now. We both were in the race to have our sister Naamah. She was a lovely girl. We had no compunctions about having her for ourselves.

                                   All of us were a law to ourselves. This God-talk confused me a little. Is there really going to be a flood? Is there a God of the universe? I wondered.

                                   A tiny bit of my heart pricked me. "Jabal, think again of what you are doing. How can you desire to have your own sister? Isn’t it wrong?" Deciding to quash this part of my thinking, I went towards my prize possession, an implement of sorts I had devised.

                                   As I was looking at it, my sister Naamah came there. She was dressed to kill. I was so enamored of her. I grabbed hold of her and impudently tried to kiss her. She tried to avoid me. She made a face and said, "What is that you are doing Jabal? What on earth is that contraption you are holding?"

                                   Happy that she is asking me, I went on to describe it. "I made it with this hard substance some call metal. I will attach it to a yoke of oxen and make them walk through the field before I sow the seed. This will make furrows of the land and make it easy for me to sow the seeds. I have thought a lot and worked hard on it!"

                                   Preening myself, I held my sister close to me and whispered, "I trust you will come to me tonight again?"

                                   "Tonight, I have a date with Tubal, Jabal. I told you that I am available for both of you?" she replied coquettishly as she smiled and let go of me.

                                   My mood was off. How on earth can I share this luscious sister of mine with my brother? I decided to devise a plan to end the life of this pestilential brother of mine. "How best can I finish him off?" I pondered. I was getting some ideas.

                                   As I was thinking of all this, I remembered that this old man Noah, ah, that was his name, had a couple of sons who were with me in our childhood. What were their names, yes, now I remember, Shem and Ham? They had a younger brother also, Japheth, I think is his name.

As far as I could remember, this old man Noah had been preaching similar messages for many years. Maybe a century? So much so that all of us become immune to what he has to say.

                          Reminded of how our ancestor Cain got rid of his pesky brother Abel, I thought now my task is to murder Tubal. He was impeding my way with my lover. That is reason enough to shunt him out of the way. Why not? I mused as I sat quietly watching my fields.

                          Carefully I plotted details of my scheme to get rid of my brother. I did not want to make a mistake. Every little detail of the plot I planned meticulously.

                          Calling Tubal the next day, I told him, "Tubal, I have crafted a new implement to help me do raise crops better. Since you are interested in implements, please come and have a look at it. You may be able to help me to improve it further."

                          Always interested in implements, Tubal agreed and walked innocently with me. My plan succeeded! Congratulating myself, I took him to a dark corner of my farmland. Then I showed the hand plow which I had created. He was glued to it and started scrutinizing it.

                          Taking the heavy club, which I had previously hidden, I lurked around him. In the next second, I would be striking him one blow. That would be enough to immobilize him. If possible, I wanted to finish him off too with that blow.

                          But something went awry at that moment. There was a flash of color and a shout. It was my sister, Naamah! “Jabal! Tubal! So nice to see you both together!” she screamed!

She had come at the wrong moment. Distracted, I had to leave my club and my plans. How could I murder him with a witness?  And that too my lover and sister Naamah, who was also in love with him?

                 What a complicated situation I landed myself in? I didn't know what to do.

                          We did talk a bit. Tubal gave me some suggestions to improve the plow. I listened to him half-heartedly. My mind was full of regret because I was blocked in my plan to kill Tubal.

                          Dispirited, I trudged back with Tubal and Naamah. Back from my farm to the town. They went away and I was left alone. Coming to the town square, I stood alone there for a while. I wanted to think.

                          "Of all the people, why should Naamah come and spoil my beautiful plan? What should I do next? How do I revise my plot?" Standing and pacing about the town square, I was agitated. As I paced about furiously, thinking hard, I heard a strange sound.

                          It was a pitter-patter type of sound. It distracted me. Something was falling on me from the sky above. Never in my life had I had this experience. No one in my ancestors told of such a thing too.

                          "What’s falling on me?" I asked. Some stragglers staying on the street also were having the same question in their minds.

We all asked together loudly, "What’s falling on us?"

                          Meanwhile, these drops of water showering us, as it were, became bigger and bigger. The rate at which the drops were falling on us increased. We were getting wet from these drops which continued to fall with increasing frequency.

                          As I stood on the street being assaulted regularly by the chilly water droplets, I was reminded of the words of the old man Noah. He had said that we would be decimated as people from on earth by a flood. "Is this the deluge, the worldwide deluge?" I asked myself.

                          The intensity and frequency of these drops increased steadily. Completely drenched, I ran for some shelter and stood under a Pomegranate tree over there. But the phenomenon continued. Soon small streams were formed on the street. These streams grew bigger and coalesced into tiny brooks. They very soon became unfordable. Flabbergasted, I  was just looking up at the sky. The waters from the deep also began to spew out from the earth below our feet. We were slowly but steadily getting swamped.

                          Getting a good idea, I ran to the place where Noah and his sons had built an ark. I thought I could get into the boat and save myself. Reaching the boat, I found it locked from outside. Hammering on the door, I cried out, "Noah, Shem, Ham, Japheth! Please open the door. Save us! Please please, please..."

                          There was no response to my pleading, from within the ark. I stood alone in the rain. The water level around me rose. I was knee-deep in water. Soon it rose to my knees and higher. I was getting breathless with fright and anxiety! I looked around and found that all people around me were also in the same plight as mine. Some however had climbed on the neighboring hills and were thinking they were safe. But I saw that it did not stop. The deluge was upon us. The judgment of God?

September 22, 2021 16:00

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4 comments

Bonnie Clarkson
14:58 Sep 25, 2021

The next prompt is about interpretation. I was thinking of doing it on Daniel and Belshazaar. Or are you doing it too, and we can compare stories? Joseph interpreting dreams would be a good one, but again, I don't think I could do it justice in 3000 words.

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Anthony David M
07:25 Sep 26, 2021

Bonnie! I was thinking also about these two stories from the Bible! I would like to try the Joseph one. Let us see. Thank you for being so empathic. Your comments about my story on the first rain are well taken. I went overboard trying to depict Jubal with pride and lust! Thank you for your keen observation and constructive comments! God bless you!

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Bonnie Clarkson
20:39 Sep 26, 2021

That's exciting to be thinking along the same lines! I want to try for Belshazaar. It was pointed to me Joseph would be harder to tell from his point of view because he has so few faults. All three of the people Joseph interpreted dreams for have potential, but I think the Pharoah's interpretation is the easiest for the average reader to understand. Good luck!

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Bonnie Clarkson
19:10 Sep 22, 2021

I liked the story. A couple of things bothered me. The use of "savior" was one of them. If you meant Jesus, I don't think Noah would have know that term. If you meant savior from the flood, you need to specifically mention God. The other was how he could preen himself at the same time he held his sister. I thought about doing 1 Kings 18 with Ahab, Elijah, and rain, but I didn't think I could do it justice in 3000 words.

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