Hollyweird

That’s the thing about this city, a beautiful cacophony of junkies and starlets, misfits and artists. Full of gods and monsters, angels and demons, the normal and strange.     

            As an aspiring journalism student, it was my deal to what it was really about, what lie beneath the shiny gold surface.

And that was my next assignment; Devin Bohmer, an infamous vampire underlord, allegedly anyway. Eternally on the edge of 17, growing an empire from the ground up since prohibition, he was now a semi-retired playboy residing in the hills of Los Angeles.

He’d invited me to his residence about a week prior at which there was to be a ‘pretty chill party’ taking place, as we’d been in contact ever since he conveniently ‘found’ a necklace I’d lost at a Halloween party we’d simultaneously attended earlier, but it was fine, he needed something from me and I needed something from him, it was worth the risk.

And so, I got myself ready. I picked out a decent black baby doll dress I’ve been waiting to wear with some Mary Jane flats. I put on a little dark pink lipgloss and eyeliner and I was good to go.    

I took a rideshare up to his place in Angelino Heights. Once I arrived, I couldn’t help but admire the old Victorian style mansion, although a bit run down and spooky looking. I emerged from the car cautiously.     

“Have fun.” my driver said somewhat sarcastically.     

“Yea…” I said, closing the door.     

I looked up at the eerie mist floating like a ghostly shadow from his chimney. I got an instant chill of the night or maybe it was just the general vibe of this place. There were overgrown vines and weeds creeping around small old gargoyle sculptures and what were once plants now lay wilted and crunched under my feet. I almost kicked over an old lawn gnome.     

I made my way up to the door and knocked with the old brass knocker that resembled to me something like that creepy demon face emoji.     

I was greeted by some alt-looking chick with short rose’ colored hair, black cateye glasses and multiple ear piercings.     

“Hey…who’re you?”     

“I… ah, Hannah?”     

“Oh, right Hannah yea sure…” She looked like she was still pondering my presence there. “Come in.”     

She led me through a burgundy foyer into the parlor that was impressively vintage chic. Jubilant jazz standards buzzed though the stereos while smoke lingered from the huff-puffs of the various randoms seated around a stained-glass hookah, the fragrance of flavored tobacco and marijuana floating into my nose.     

We ended up in a checker-floored kitchen, where bottles equally empty and full littered the countertops.     

“Here’s the bar, make yourself a drink or whatever.” And she made her way lazily back to wherever she emerged from.     

I lingered around for a minute, observing the various spirits that littered the area, while people smoked and chattered behind me. A couple of people came in and out, pouring drinks and leaving empty bottles behind.     

Then I saw him; pale marble skin, dark eyes and a sly sensual smile on his face. He met my gaze, and I felt another subtle chill come over me.

“Hannah?”

“Hi, yea, hi …”     

“Right, nice to have you.” He came over, lift my right hand and kissed the tips of my fingers. I looked up, trying to hide the damn schoolgirl blush.  

“I was about to have a smoke. You wanna join me out back?”

“Sure.”

He took me out the back door of the kitchen which led into the large backyard full of yellowed grass and shrubs. But then we ended up in a small garden area surrounded by a wall covered with draping vines. A fountain stood as the centerpiece, with frogs shooting water streams form their mouths. Two topiary horses stood rearing towards each other.

“Cool ‘ah?” He pulled out a cannagar and matchbox from his front breast pocket and lit it, taking a carefully executed inhale.

“I’ll say…” I observed a spider descending its web down a vine towards a blood red rose below. It shined in the glow of the full moon. I continued watching as a fly flew into the epicenter of the spider’s web. It struggled within the intricacies of its design, while the spider made its way to its prey, presumably sinking its fangs into the fly’s flesh.  

“It’s a vibe aint it?” Devin said next to me, an air of sweet smoke surrounding him.

“It is mystical”

“Take a souvenir.” He handed me a rose he picked from the nearby vine.

“Thanks.” I said sheepishly accepting. I noticed a smaller spider crawling on one of the petals which I blew off while he finished his smoke, ashing the cigar butt with his two-tone shoe on the cobblestones.

“Come on I’ll take you to the good stuff.” He led me back around the garden, and I saw something like another lawn ornament that emerged from the ground that honestly looked like a gravestone. I wanted to inquire about it but decided against it as we went through the backdoor and back into the house.

“What’s your poison?” I hesitated for a millisecond until I realized what he intended.

“I uh, I’m a whiskey girl I ‘spose?”

“How ‘bout an old fashioned?”

“Sure.”

“I gotta show you the dungeon.” My eyes widened and he chuckled. “The bar! It’s real swell.”

“Right of course.” I shook it off chucking slightly trying to brush off my nerves.

 I followed him cautiously, back through the parlor and down the hall

passing through the damask maroon walls with pics of pin up girls, various liquor brands, and infamous gangsters of fiction and reality playing cards together like Coolidge’s Dogs Playing Poker. Fitting.     

We came to a spiral of stairs in a tight hall leading down to a cellar.  I definitely got the dungeon vibe. It was dark, dank, lit with torches (albeit LED at this point), but at the same time it was stylish with the old Victorian vibe, almost reminiscent of what I pictured a chill speakeasy to be. Black leather lounge chairs, mahogany tables and a shelf with glass doors showcasing expensive looking bottles, shiny cocktail sets and fine drinkware. He had a bar kit set up on an island in front of the wall of wine bottles.   

“Neat huh?”     

“It’s definitely impressive…”     

“You wanna take a seat there Miss Hannah?” He motioned to a black barstool next to the island.     

“Uh, sure.” I sat hesitantly on the right end, clutching my bag in front of me.     

He busied himself getting glasses and bottles set up on the island.     

“Pass the gin yea?” He asked me, motioning to a bottle near my arm. I passed it down carefully. He took it, pouring it in a highball glass then pulled a small vile of dark red liquid from the pocket of his waistcoat. “Always like to keep one a’ these handy.”     

“Gin and juice?” I asked naively.     

“Gin, an American favorite, mixed with American blood…” he stirred it ominously with a stirrer before lifting it to his lips. He must’ve observed my startled expression because he started laughing.     

“Your face though…”     

“I mean, that drink looks a little creepy not gonna lie….”     

“You want one? A Gin Daisy I mean.” He still chuckled lifting his glass.     

“I’ll stick with the Old Fashioned.” He got the ingredients together and shook and stirred like a regular master mixologist.

“Alright then, I figure we cut to the chase now. Why’re you really here?”  He leaned in a little, and I observed his intensely dark eyes.     

“I, ah, here to party, duh…”     

“Oh, come on you gawky Jane. You wanna know something.”     

“I…what?”     

“Yea Miss Hannah Leigh Larkin.” He dropped my full name way too casually. I couldn’t help my deer in the headlight’s reaction. “Yea, I’ve heard of you, I got eyes everywhere including that school a’ yours where you take that goofy little journalism class. Now out with it already, what is it that you wanna know? Am I a criminal, a drug lord, a vampire?”  He said the last bit with a twisted grin.     

“Well, ah, while we’re on the subject’s yea, are you? Any of the above? I mean, you’ve been seen since the prohibition days…” he smirked, taking another subtle sip from his supposed gin and tonic.     

“Am I a vampire she asks…” he set the glass down a little too calmly. “A blood sucking drug czar who’s never hit 21 but has the best damn stash in town? You’re missing out Toots.” He motioned to his collection behind him.     

“So… answer?” I was a little freaked but also getting impatient.     

“The answer is, write what you need to write to get your extra credit and have another drink and live a little!”     

“It’s always just so deflective and monologuey with you people!”     

“People like me?”  He narrowed his gaze at me.     

“I mean, like…” I retracted my confidence a little bit, what did I mean? A vampire? A criminal? Neither was too flattering. But then he continued.     

“Lemme ask you this; is anyone who’s successful in this country honest and hardworking? Did anyone really make an honest living? I mean, anyone at the top anyway. Are you completely honest? We trade, fight, fuck our way there, sacrifices are made, morals are compromised, it’s just the American dream.” He took another elongated sip of his gin drink, finishing it and setting it down aggressively. “Were all pawns in a bigger game, it’s up to us how much power we wanna possess. They set us up, give us the gifts, then expect us not to use ‘um? You give a man a gun, you piss him off, you get yourself shot…that’s how it all starts, guns, gangs, terrorists, ultraviolence, it’s all inherent systematics, snake eatin’ its own tail. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to make a living aren’t we Toots?”     

“That sounds so…callous and nihilistic.”     

“When you’ve lived as long as I have it’s just about whetting the appetite.” He licked his lips after that.     

“That’s all you live for? Getting your appetite whet?”     

“Can you tell me another way to do it?”     

“That’s…inspiring. You should do Ted Talks.” He laughed.     

“Ah, you’ll take what you get from it.” His smugness was really getting under my skin.     

“That you’re a bloodthirsty old criminal?”     

“Least I got my looks.” he shrugged. Then he narrowed his eyes at me. “But if you think your gonna do a damn thing to change the way you got another thing comin kid.”     

“You’re younger than me! In a way…”     

“I’m lord of the underworld, right?!” He laughed maniacally while I started to get up and walk away but suddenly, I felt his cold hand on my shoulder. “Wait a minute. Lemme show you something.” Then he threw me around faster than I could react. And then there was nothing.     

I felt like I tasted death, like I saw what could be immortality, but a dark, cold void, like all the forests had been scorched from earth, all the screams across time silenced into nothingness, but then a sensual euphoria settled over me, like I was floating still in a depravation tank.     

Then I awoke from my trance with a heavy gasp.     

“I just brought you to the edge.”     

“Of what? Death?!”     

“Once you’ve seen death you really know how to YOLO.”     

“Does anyone…even say that anymore?!” He laughed at me with his bloodied grin.    

“Like I haven’t seen you drop the term on your MyFace.”     

“Of course you’d stalk my social media.”     

“Gotta know who’s checking me out around town.”     

“Fair enough I guess.” I steadied myself on the nearest chair.          

“If you don’t know how to roll then you don’t belong this town.”     

“So being a monster’s just part of the gig?”     

“That’s the thing about this place, you become one with the monster or you get chomped up into bits. Hurts, believe me.” He rubbed his arm like he knew the literal pain.     

I couldn’t help wincing as he laughed again. I made my way hastily back toward the spiral stairs.     

“Go on now, run final girl run!” He continued laughing, pulling a cigar from his pocket, lighting it up. Now the smell made me wanna vomit.     

I about tripped over my feet curving around those stairs before finally emerging back into the more properly lit lounge.   

“Isn’t this party fun?” the alt girl said drunkenly stumbling over her own feet.     

“Yea…”  I made my way past back to the foyer to await the arrival of my rideshare I nervously tried to summon on my phone.

Two girls passed by me laughing and half stumbling, everyone laughing and spilling drinks in clouds of haze and the Tiffany lights of this creepy old place. It was like a blur of a Weeknd video, and I felt increasingly lightheaded, making my way to the door in what seemed like hours. Once I opened and closed the door behind me and stepped out to the front porch, I breathed a sigh of relief.     

Back at home, I sat at my desk tapping my pencil to the beat of the phonky Lofi on my xCube, reading on my computer what I had free written about the experience so far. 

This was the land of the weird and home of the strange

 filled with starboys and stargirls with oversized shades 

Innocence lost, paradise found 

The glam underworld, the sound of sinister screams resonate

Ageless, nameless, that’s what everyone here seems 

Living fast paced in a superficial rat race 

Feeding this illusion of security with silicone and cake 

Admiring our reflections in the silvery glow of the lake 

Falling in, drowning and struggling like buttered up mice while the vampires feed on the lies and greed of the American dream

A mediocre poem. It wasn’t much but it was some sort of start. I still had a lot of work to do in understanding this place.