The News

“Sitting and talking about my childhood was the worst part of my week. Once a week I went to therapy. Dr. Amara was wonderful… But she always made me talk through my childhood. But if it gets me out of here sooner then I'm happy. And she recommended that I write out what I remember. She told me that I mention one thing whenever I talk to her. 

The news. Always played in the background as Mom made dinner. I think I was playing a game with my brothers, Jacob and Manny. They always liked to play card games. I never could remember what the game was called. I think it was Gin Rummy or something like that. I always preferred to watch the game. But tonight they were trying to teach me to play poker for some reason. I let them think I had beginner’s luck. But our father taught me how to play many years earlier. I miss those times… I miss Dad.

That specific night I remember my Mom telling us to quiet down as we were being kids like usual. We quieted down as she turned up the news that revealed the weather for the week. A heatwave, a bad one too. They predicted over 100 degrees the whole week. 

I remember my mom saying it was a shame that our local pool was closed that summer. If I remember correctly they closed it because they were either remodeling or short staffed. I think it was remodeling? It would’ve been about 1982 when they were short staffed. The year of the pool closing was 1980 if I remember correctly. I should ask Manny about that. He’d remember. He remembers everything. Even what happened to Dad. 

Anyways, that week sucked. The power went out like once a day. So our mom on that Friday gave us a frozen treat… Otter Pops I think? I don't really remember. My memory issues Manny think are caused by whatever happened when Dad died but no one ever tells me. I try to ask Jacob but he’s as clueless as I am. But we both remember the Otter pops. That's one of our earliest memories. I think I was seven, Jacob was nine, and Manny was ten. “

I looked at Dr. Amara as she read my letter out loud. This was supposed to be my last day at the facility. I was on hold because they were worried I was a danger to myself or something… It's all a blur. All I remember is waking up in a hospital.. 

“ Well Lydia this is good, keep writing these letters and at our next session I’ll go through them,” Says Dr. Amara in her sickly sweet voice. It always reminded me of my Grandmother. I hated that woman. 

After that session Manny picked me up and took me home. He told me about how Mom and Jacob were happy to have me home. He also told me the local pool was cracked at the bottom so they redoing the entire local pool and park included. He said it was sad how they only redid that pool ten years ago and now they are redoing it again. I think he mentioned how Mom got them a new poker set a while ago and how he and Jacob wanted to play it with me. 

I walked into the house to find Jacob on the couch.. He looked the same as when I last saw him. He was still tall but more muscular now. That night our Mom was making our favorite growing up. Tacos. She was listening to the news as always… Jacob Manny and I were sitting in the living room playing poker. We were laughing and talking loudly when the doorbell rang. Mom opened the door and we heard this sickly sweet voice……

“Well Hello Martha, I heard that Lydia was out of that awful facility. I want to see my grandchildren. Move.”

My brothers and I freeze as we hear that voice and look over at the door. My mother was standing her ground against her mother in law, my grandmother. 

“Martha, let me in” Snaps my grandmother, her sweet voice gone. 

“Judy. You need to leave. They don't need to know.” My mother says firmly, finally holding her ground. 

“Martha, They deserve to know. He deserves to see his children!” Shrieks my grandmother

His children? My brothers and I look at each other confused. Our father had been dead for over ten years…. Or so we thought…

She looked over at us three terrified. After a few minutes Manny spoke up, 

“Mom? What is Judy talking about?” 

Silence. So silent you could hear the gears turning in my mothers head. 

“Shit” She muttered under her breath.

As she was caught off guard my grandmother pushed past her.

“Your father deserves to see you three again.” My grandmother is determined. 

At those words. Our lives as we knew them fell apart. The man we thought was dead wasn't. He was alive. We looked at our mother and she looked terrified. Our grandmother kept speaking as we tried to process all of this…

“He's out in my car if you want to see him, meet the man who you call dad,” My grandmother starts,” Meet the man whose life got ruined by your mother”

As she is speaking she tries to guide us to stand and come with her. But Manny stops her. 

“No, we don't want to see him. We need time to process this Judy.” Says Manny, his voice shaky.

“But he wants to see his kids-” My grandmother starts only to get cut off by Manny again.

“No Judy. You need to take him and go home” 

She kept trying but eventually Manny pushed her out of the house and shut the door. The only thing in the house was silence. Besides the news…. The news. The same channel Mom always played…. The same channel describing the weather for the week… Announcing the newest heatwave…