The Truth

Submitted into Contest #76 in response to: Write a story told exclusively through dialogue.... view prompt

7 comments

Fiction Suspense Drama

“Hastings Private Detectives, how may I help you?”

“James, it is me, Laura. Sorry to trouble you at this hour, I know it’s late, but I just wanted to know the progress of the case.”

“Hi Laura, of course, of course! Don’t you worry about it, we detectives work all hours. Remember what I told you? You can call me any time, any time at all. As a matter of fact, I was just about to call you.”

“Oh yes? You found something?”

“Are you sitting down?”

“It’s that bad huh?”

“Afraid so. Your intuition was right, Laura. This man, Sam, is not exactly as he told you who he is. Of course, he would have told you a certain amount of truth, when mixed with lies, they make the lies much more convincing.”

“Yeah, I understand what you mean. Everything with him is, um, how do I put it? Let’s just say I had a strange feeling, it was not logical and I couldn’t exactly put a finger on it but something felt wrong. That’s why I called you. Second-guessing would drive me crazy and I needed evidence. I knew the truth could go either way but I’m ready to face the reality.”

“Good call, my friend. I see you still got your head on your shoulders. You know what the Russians say?”

“Trust, but verify.”

“That’s right. Most people in love would lose their ability to make objective judgements until they get fucked up ugly. And then they wake up broke and alone and they wonder why these unfortunate events happened to them. Little did they know they had some glaring weaknesses to start with and they were marked for them long before the predators move in on them.”

‘Yes, I remember you grilling me about my weaknesses. I was not sure what they were and you listed them one by one in my face.”

“Yes, observation is a part of my trade. And you most certainly would thank me for it later.”

“I was very shocked when I heard them, it was a wake-up call. Therefore, I am not so surprised you have found some damning evidence already. Did you follow him?”

“Indeed I have. Following a target incognito is what I do best. As we speak, I am organizing some photos I took yesterday into a special folder just for this man, however, whether you want to see them for yourself is entirely up to you.”

“These photos, are of what nature?”

“Of the nature you won’t like. That I shall say.”

“Tell me, what did you find? Does he live with his sister?”

“Yes, he does.”

“Then he’s not cheating on me, right? What else could he be doing? Drugs?”

“Hold on a second. I said he lived with his sister but I didn’t say he wasn’t cheating on you.”

“Huh? With who? In his sister’s house? Does his sister know?”

“The woman he is cheating on with, Laura, is no other than his own sister.”

“What? His own sister? Are you sure?”

“You want to see the photos?”

“Oh God no! No! Does that? Does that make him one of those, um, what do you call them…”

“Incests.”

“That’s right. Incests. Oh wow, oh my God! I’m sorry, I can’t seem to think straight right now.”

“It’s perfectly fine. Happens to anyone. Breathe, take your time. In and out, in and out.”

“I am breathing. I do feel calmer. What else did you find? Is it true both their parents are dead?”

“Yes, both died younger than expected in standard populations. Poverty, disease, among many other probable causes.”

“So the sister is like a mother, sister, wife all rolled in one?”

“That’s about to sum it up nicely. Pretty messed up huh?”

“No wonder he won’t let me see her or call her because she would be jealous.”

“There is jealousy, no doubt about that. But I suspect she knows his rackets and is a willing participant. No, let me rephrase this, she is the ring leader behind their little homegrown racket. And most of your money went into her pocket.”

“Oh, God. You are not saying? You mean she knowingly encourages her brother to scam other women for money?”

“Knowingly and actively, yes. I suppose her jealousy takes the back seat where the money is concerned. On top of that, he’s not the only one practises the family business. She is quite proficient herself. I have been documenting her activities as well. It seems the sister would entice men to her place, scam them and then get rid of them. Men came and went, but money always stayed in her pocket. If the men refused to go, she’d call her brother to come and threaten physical violence. And that completes their act.”

“Hmm, yes, I remember her calls. Yes, I remember now. She’s always in need of food, help with the bills and men. And I felt for her and told him to go to her rescue. How naive I was!”

“You are a good person, I know that, you know that, and certainly, they know that, that’s why they chose you. It would be much harder to scam a street smart fellow hustler so they won’t even try.”

“So I am being punished for being a kind person.”

“Not just you, there are others. Some were treated much worse and have children by him. Unrecognized and neglected, of course.”

“That’s just, I have no words!”

“I know this seems very unfair and cruel. Unfortunately, my dearest, being kind is not enough to survive in this world. One way or another, you have to learn the truth and adapt to it.”

“The truth, ha, that I am just another sucker to be extorted and discarded like garbage.”

“Listen, don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is hard, we weren’t supposed to have it easy.”

“I know, don’t you think I know that James? Yet still, the heart aches like it’s dying.”

“Yes, it’s only natural. You thought you were in love. And this feeling will continue for some time. But time will heal your wounds and you will be stronger.”

“I don’t know about stronger, James, I feel so alone.”

“Don’t cry, come on. This too shall pass. Tell you what? I am finishing up now and I will pick up some Chinese from your favourite place and see you in about half an hour. Does that sound better?”

“Yes. Yes, that sounds better.”

“Good, think happy thoughts about the future and I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

January 11, 2021 16:58

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

7 comments

Christina Marie
21:39 Jan 20, 2021

Great job. Straight dialogue is really tricky and I appreciated the way you set it up to support the plot. If you don't already, I'd suggest reading it out loud to catch some of the phrases that could be adjusted to feel more natural (e.g. "these photos, are of what nature?" Might roll off the tongue better as "What's the nature of these photos?"). Overall though, some fun twists and turns, and the ending left me intrigued :)

Reply

Rexy Rexy
06:02 Jan 21, 2021

Thank you so much! That is great advice! I really appreciate it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Rexy Rexy
06:02 Jan 21, 2021

Thank you so much! That is great advice! I really appreciate it!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 2 replies
Crystal Lewis
12:45 Jan 18, 2021

I don't know if it's just because I have a naturally suspicious mind but that ending feels a little bit suspicious... But nicely written. :)

Reply

Rexy Rexy
14:01 Jan 18, 2021

You are entirely right! I left the readers to wonder who is the real villain, maybe there's no hero in this story. :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Rexy Rexy
14:01 Jan 18, 2021

You are entirely right! I left the readers to wonder who is the real villain, maybe there's no hero in this story. :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Rexy Rexy
14:01 Jan 18, 2021

You are entirely right! I left the readers to wonder who is the real villain, maybe there's no hero in this story. :D

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 3 replies
RBE | We made a writing app for you (photo) | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.