The Reveal of a Long-kept Secret

I was sweating and feeling cold. My nerves were shivering as if I was seeing a ghost. Rainei was walking towards me while I was sitting on the varnished mahogany wooden bench in a Luneta Park. Then from a little distant I heard him saying," Berna, I will have only a few minutes for recess. We are going to have a rush project to finish and be submitted tomorrow before lunch." He sat down beside me like the old days when we were just teenagers. It was like nothing for us, no malice. But, as the time went by where I started missing him when I could not able to see even his shadow. I learned from that time, I developed a special feeling for him and I could not find any ways or reasons to tell him. Not until recently where he was about to have an arranged marriage.

    "You did not answer me. Are you okay?" He asked. But, I could not find my voice to reply. It felt like my throat suddenly dried. He tapped my shoulder. "Berna, are you okay?" He asked me again. I just nodded. "How about like this, we will meet here again tomorrow." When I heard him saying tomorrow, it was like a thousand volts of electricity generated in my brain enough to make me return to my senses. That tomorrow was my flight going to Taiwan.

    "No." I lowly answered. "Not tomorrow--."

    "Okay. Then, how about on the other day?"

    "--not tomorrow, not on the other day, except today Rainei." I insisted. I looked at him and I saw from his eyes the confusion.

    "Is there something wrong, Berna? Tell me."

    "Yes."

    "Then, tell me."

    "I am going to leave tomorrow for Taiwan." My voice was broken.

    He froze and it took a while before he answered. "Well, good luck then. I wish you a safe flight." I saw a sudden sadness on his face and he suddenly stood up. I grabbed his hand and I stood up.

    "I just wanted you to know that I have this unexplainable feeling for you. I-I miss you every time I could not see you around. I miss the moments we used to spend together..." I felt the warm tears flowing slowly down on my cheeks. He brushed my hands until it felt warm. "...I think; I fell in love with you. But, I know you are going to get marry with somebody else and we are just close or best friends. I say it because I do not want to regret one day for not being honest with you." Before I even let go of his hands, the clock just suddenly stopped when I felt his lips on mine. He hugged me and told me not to leave.

    "We have mutual feelings. Please, don't go. I will arrange this thing between me and Lea's family. I cannot marry her and their daughter must find someone else who will love her in return. It is you I wanted to marry since for a long time ago. I could not find my courage to tell you about how I feel for you because I have the most respect for you and for our friendship...and I was scared for thinking you will stay away from me or it will disappoint you. I thank you so much for opening it up and for your bravery that I wished I have. So, please don't go."

    We hugged each other and wiped out each other's tears. It was like bunches of thorns were pulled out from my heart. I never expected the outcome. Everything was like a dream that I never wanted to wake up anymore. But, it was real and I was like floating. The feeling was so wonderful like fantasy. I thought, I was just simply voicing it out for honesty, but I was surprised with the result.

    Rainei went home with me before the sunset. He wanted me to be with him the moment he would confess to his parents about us and about backing out from the arranged marriage. His parents were in the porch drinking coffee when we arrived. We paid respect before we sat on the adjacent bench.

    "Berna, it is nice to see you. I heard from your sister that you are going to fly going Taiwan tomorrow," said his mother. I just smiled.

    "Nanay, I have something to tell you about Berna." Rainei said as he stood up and took the stall and sat closer to them. "Nanay, Tatay, I believe that the day when you married each other, you married for love and not for any invalid reason like of arranged marriage. Nanay, Tatay, I have to back out from the arranged marriage with Lea's family. I am certain that I cannot make her happy as I am."

    "Why? Is there somebody else you love and you did not tell us?" His father asked with no expression on the face. Rainei looked back at me. "I see. I got it," his father said after reading his body movement and facial gesture.

    "The woman I love is not Lea Tatay, Nanay. It is Berna. You knew her since we were just kids until we became teenager and now that we are young adults. I cannot let her leave me for Taiwan and I cannot marry to a woman whom I never love."

    I lowered my face and focus on the floor while my ears were wide opened and actively listening to their discussion. His parents were looking each other, then to us. I saw it from their shadows on the floor.

    "Okay. We will talk tomorrow to Lea's family and we will see what will happen," said by his father. His mother chose the silence.

    "Thank you, Tatay, Nanay. I hope everything will be okay tomorrow."

    Rainei sent me home and that time was different. We stopped under the huge mango tree on a hill where we used to play before. We sat on the green carabao grasses and feel the fresh, cold breeze of the twilight. That time, his right arm wrapped around my shoulder while the other one was holding my hand as I leaned my head on his chest until we witnessed together the sunset on the sea horizon.

    In the house, my mother was sweeping on the backyard while my sister was burning the dried leaves. Rainei greeted them both a good afternoon. I asked Rainei to get inside while I approached my mother to take the broomstick and finish the sweeping, but my mother refused as she was actually just done. We all went inside and like gathered in the porch. I stood up to boil water to serve them a dragon coffee while my mother, sister and Rainei were started talking when I left.

    After I finished pouring the dragon corn coffee on each cup, I served it to them. "Berna, is it true that you and Rainei are in a relationship now?" Mother asked. I saw my sister clapping her hands silently. I nodded. "How about your flight tomorrow?"

    "I am going to cancel it, Nanay."

    "Are you really sure with your decision to cancel your work to Taiwan?" She asked me again and I nodded. "Well, there's nothing I can do. You are old enough to do what you want."

    "Yehey! I am glad you do not want to leave, Ate!" My sister happily cited.

    "Thank you, Nay for the understanding." I said.

    "Thank you, Auntie." Rainei added.

    Rainei went home to prepare for tomorrow's conversation with Lea's family. I was worried for the outcome. Until that day came and I just stayed at home doing some household chores. I tried to keep my mind busy to forget about Rainei and his parents' visit to Lea's home. I did not notice how fast the time passed by. I heard nothing from Rainei until in the next morning. I began to worry. So, I decided to visit their house and found no one. I wanted to go to his work place, but I lost the courage in doing so. I secretly cried. It was felt like I was stabbed ten thousand times. I did not even know why it was hurt without even knowing any reason of why he did not show up after that visit. I waited for more couple of days until an unexpected visitor arrived at home. It was his mother. She was crying and told us that Rainei was in prison. The visit was very bad. According to his mother, after they left Lea's house, they thought everything was okay. Although, the family of Lea was disappointed, but they accepted it. They just arrived at home and when Rainei was about to leave to go to our house, the policemen arrested him. They learned that Lea was in a hospital and in comatose after her suicide attempt. They blamed Rainei for it.

    I rushed to the city jail to visit Rainei. We cried. I promised him they will let him out before I left and I headed to the hospital. But, before I managed to leave the jail, my mother and his mother were outside together with my sister. They brought food and few clothes for him. His mother and my sister stayed while my mother and I went to the hospital to talk with Lea's parents. We were lucky because Lea's parents were there when we arrived. Lea was transferred to the ICU and fighting for her life.

    The door was opened, but I knocked before I entered. "Who are you?" Lea's father asked me first.

    I bowed. "Hi. My name is Berna, Rainei's girlfriend."

    "What are you doing here? Have you not seen what the two of you did to my daughter? He committed suicide out of embarrassment." Lea's father continued.

    "Sir, it was not Rainei's fault of your daughter's decision to attempt on taking her own life. You agreed with the entire conversation with Rainei and his family when they visited your home. Why take the blame on him?" I explained while my tears were started crawling down on my face.

    A slapped on my face was unexpected from him. I almost fell against the wall when my mother was on time and witnessed his action.

    "Mr. Montalye," my mother said. I was surprised. My mother knew him. I was full of unexpected event during that day.

    "Lucrine? Is that you?" Lea's mother stood up and approached my mother like they really knew each other."

    "Mrs. Montalye. Yes, it is me."

    "Come and sit." She said and my mother sat on the plastic chair. Her husband went out after he slapped me and I stood there like a candle for a while until a kind nurse gave me an extra chair. I sat and I was just listening to them.

    "Lucrine. I was looking for you since from that day of Typhoon Letang. I heard that you found and took a child wrapped in a pink flowery pranela."

    "Yes, Mrs. Montalye. I found a child wrapped in a pink flowery pranela. The child was crying and was almost hit by a fallen metal roof. Luckily, I was on time and I grabbed her before I ran to the West Evacuation Center."

    "We were in the East Evacuation Center. A little bit further from where you were at. The pink flowery pranela has a name on it. Berna Cleopatra M."

    My heartbeat began to pound so loud and fast. I heard my name. I look at my mother and I caught her sad face while looking at me.

    "Berna, come here." My mother called me. I approached them. I sat on the edge of the bed. "This is the child I found that stormy afternoon. I gave her the name which was written on the pink flowery pranela in case this day will come. Her name is Berna Cleopatra M Agandez. Agandez is my marital surname. My late husband and I adopted her to give her a family." My mother sobbed while Lea's mother hugged her with tears, probably tears of joy. I could not move. I was like a candle stick attached on that bed. I was not ready with such truth about my life.

    "Berna." Lea's mother slowly called me. "I am sorry. I lost you." She said while her tears kept falling down on her face. I felt pity, but at the same time I was badly hurt seeing my mother although there was happiness on her face.

    "I am sorry, Berna for keeping this truth from you. I never intended to hide you from the truth. You are like a real daughter to me and to your late father. We only wanted the best for you as a member of our family. Now, maybe there is a reason of why this truth just uncovered now." My mother told me. I hugged her.

    "You are a great mother to me, Nanay. You don't have to apologize. It is me who should be more thankful to you for saving my life and for raising me as your own. I am very, very proud of you. I love you and my sister." Then, Lea's father entered. He was clueless of what happened after he left.

    "Why are they still here?" He said while in my mind, I was wishing that he is not my father.

    "Frederic, Berna is our daughter. It was Lucrine who found her during that storm where I lost our child for trying to save her twin." Lea's father could not look at me while his face was unhappy. My biological mother mentioned a twin. I thought Lea was my twin. But, if she was, I would know about it for sure from Rainei.

    "Who is my twin?" I courageously asked.

    "He died after a large book fell on his head. I was attending him, trying to resuscitate him while your nanny rushed to bring you first to the evacuation center. But, I found her one of those casualties after the storm subsided and I could not find you anymore with her. I was very down for losing your twin brother and for losing you. Until, I never stopped searching and asking people around who could give me information about you. An old man who recognized Lucrine was the one who told me who had seen her holding a baby in a pink pranela. But, I could not find Lucrine anymore and no lead with my investigation until I just hope that this day would come." She explained.

"Okay. I thought Lea is my twin."

 "Lea is my adopted daughter. She was a daughter of my housemaid who died during giving birth to her. Due to the loss of our own children, your father was overprotective towards her and gave everything she needs."

    "I saw it. The way how he slapped me lately, he showed me how great his love for his daughter that even an innocent man can suffer inside of the jail with no valid reason and even if I just wanted to explain why he should be out of jail because he has no crime being committed. My father never did that to me ever since. He never physically hurt me even if I did something wrong. That's why, I am very proud of him even until now because he raised me as a good daughter and he protected me in the proper ways." Then, I walked out and went back to the jail.

    When I arrived in the city jail, Rainei was not there anymore. The police said that a case was withdrawn by Mr. Montalye. I went back to the hospital and still found them there. I apologized to my biological father as I slowly told myself to understand his reckless fatherly love. He cried and apologized for what he had done. I let them hugged me while I was still giving enough time for myself to accept the new situation. I needed an adjustment period. I forgave him for the sake of the truth and before my mother and I went out to go back home, a young guy with his parents arrived. He was the guy who triggered Lea's suicide attempt. He was Lea's secret boyfriend who got married with another girl on the day of the suicide. Unfortunately, after several days, Lea passed away.

    We went to the burial with my mother, sister, Rainei and his parents. All the visitors were obviously looking back at me and to my biological mother. Rainei and my sister told me that we have that resemblance, especially when I freed my hairs down. That time, I was also introduced to the rest of Montalye's kin including to the visitors.

    After couple of months, the bell finally rang. My biological parents were there, my mother, sister, my husband Rainei and my parents-in-law. We held our honeymoon in Taiwan while my biological parents went back to USA and left a wonderful gift package for us when we returned. They returned after one year when I gave birth to my twin boys. Everyone was celebrating to welcome the new members of the family, but my biological parents' faces were the happiest faces during that day.  

"Just so you know that I love you very much!" Rainei whispered. I replied to him with a sweet hug and kiss before he cuddled our twin.