"Not a bad Valentine's Day, at all..."

Written in response to: Set your story in a confectionery shop.... view prompt

2 comments

Holiday

“Chocolate, chocolate everywhere but not one to spare.”, hummed Husna. She lugged a large cardboard box across the shop and started arranging the KitKats neatly on the shelf behind her.

“It’s Valentine’s Day. What do you expect?”, said her elder brother, Faiz, as he peered at the computer, trying to figure out how his accounts had managed to go haywire when he had set them straight just last night.

“Yes, I know. But can I just have one of them?”

“No. If there are any left at the end of the day, then you can have them.”

Husna scowled and went back to arranging the chocolates.

Soon, the shop opened for the day and the little bell by the door chimed continuously as people streamed in and out, buying chocolates and sweets for their valentine. Some of them bought it for themselves, rather defensively, thought Husna. But nevertheless, the shelves emptied rather fast.

By afternoon, there was only one box of chocolates left. Faiz sighed and putting his hands on his hips, said, “Alright… I’ll go and get more supplies from next door. I think I remember Rakesh saying he had some extra boxes. I wonder if even he'll have any left by now. But I'll go and check, either way. Hopefully no one will drop in right now.”

“Okay. There are three or four still left in this box, so even if anyone comes, I think I’ll be able to handle it.”

He nodded, paused and looked at Husna squarely in the eyes. "Don't eat any of them, while I'm gone. They're meant for customers, alright?", he said.

Husna laughed and said, "Whatever makes you think I'm going to eat them? I'm a responsible adult and I know how to keep shop."

"Yeah sure...", said Faiz, rolling his eyes. " We'll see about that. Okay listen. The only reason those chocolates should have disappeared by the time I get back, should be because a customer bought them, understand?"

"Yup.", said Husna, pursing her lips.

"Good." said Faiz looked at her sternly. Saying so, he left by the backdoor.

Husna stood silently as she watched him walk down the street and turn into the neighbouring shop. She stood on her tiptoes to make sure he was well and truly out of sight. As soon as she was sure that Faiz had disappeared into the shop, she grabbed one of the chocolates and sunk into the chair behind the counter. 

The birds were chirping on the mango tree that shrouded a part of their shop in a comfortable shade. Tiny flowers were blooming in the flowerpots that Husna had placed outside their shop, in a bid to make it look welcoming amidst the dusty, narrow, and crowded Charminar Road. The sun shone softly on the street. It was really a lovely day – a day that was truly made for celebrating love.

Husna licked the remnants of the melted chocolate off the wrapper and smiled a little satisfied smile to herself. She would have felt guilty but there is a certain romance about sneaking a secret chocolate by yourself, for yourself. Especially when someone has expressly told you not to.

“And there are two still left, anyway…”, she reasoned.

She looked longingly at the two chocolates that lay on the counter. She loved chocolates. Her friends always wondered at her. "Don't you get bored of chocolates?", they'd say. "You're surrounded by them all day. Anyone would think you'd be sick of the sight of them by now." But Husna never tired of chocolates.

Her brother had not come yet. He seemed to be taking too much time. Or so she felt as the two remaining chocolates (a KitKat and a Dairy Milk) lay in front of her – she just had to reach out and grab them, but her conscience held her back. Everything, quite literally, seemed to slow down when there was chocolate in front of you, she thought rather dreamily.

She sighed and stood up to see if her brother was in sight. He still wasn’t back.

The KitKat and Dairy Milk sat tantalisingly on the counter. She glanced at the backdoor again, but Faiz was still nowhere in sight.

And so, she had the KitKat. She didn’t usually like chocolates with wafers – she preferred the melt-in-the-mouth kind, but right now, she didn’t mind. A chocolate's a chocolate, isn't it?

She smiled another small satisfied smile. She did feel a little guilty now and looked anxiously out the main door to see if there were any potential customers out there. But the road was almost empty, which was a rare feat in itself. After all, whoever had heard of the Charminar Road with only around twenty hawkers selling their wares?

For the first time, Husna started wondering whether something had gone wrong. Where was the crowd? Where was her brother?

She pondered whether she should go next door and check if he needed any help. But she couldn’t leave their store unattended. What if someone did drop in to buy the last chocolate? Her thoughts turned back to the last Dairy Milk that lay on the counter. Dairy Milk was easily her favourite chocolate. To watch it as it lay welcomingly on the counter, its royal purple wrapper glinting in the sun that pored in through the main door, was pure torture for her.

And so, she had the Dairy Milk. She propped her head on her hands and revelled in the chocolaty silkiness that exploded in her mouth. “Chocolate was probably humanity’s best invention.”, she thought mellowly, as she scooped the slightly melted chocolate off the wrapper and licked her fingers.

 She turned the wrapper around. Happy Valentine’s Day! – it read.

“Happy it is, indeed…” thought Husna, as she smiled a smile of complete and whole contentment, completely oblivious to the fact that her brother had had to travel all the way to the next street since the neighbours had no extra supplies to spare and was now attempting to muscle his way back to the shop (three boxes of chocolate in hand and sweat dripping from his forehead) through the loud and colourful wedding procession that had blocked the far end of their street.

“Not a bad Valentine’s Day, at all”, smiled Husna to herself, turning the wrapper around to make sure there was no more chocolate left and upon finding some, licking it clean.

February 19, 2022 04:40

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2 comments

Howard Seeley
14:58 Feb 22, 2022

Husna is an interesting character, self-indulging and easily swayed by temptation. Fiaz, knowing his sister all too well, still leaves her in charge, aware of what the final outcome would be. The story is written well, but in my opinion, a little more conflict would have made it more compelling. Hope to read more from you in the future. Good luck!

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Sachi B
02:36 Feb 23, 2022

Thank you for your feedback! I wanted to write a simple story but I agree - it could do with more conflict. Thanks again for dropping by!😊

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