Contest #186 shortlist ⭐️

24 comments

Fiction

Why do you write? The question bounces around in your brain, ricocheting off memories, imaginings, ideas, aches, desires, anxieties, and dreams, evading answers. It’s a question asked by colleges considering whether to accept you into their creative writing program. A question asked by professors trying to get your creative juices flowing. By parents worrying about how you’re paying your bills. By yourself wondering what the hell you’re doing with your life. 

Why do you write? Usually, you answer questions by observing them like a lion stalking an antelope. Then you pounce and the question’s answer submits to your logic and knowledge. But this question is an antelope that keeps running, refusing to surrender to the starving lion that chases it. 

Why do you write? Perhaps you write because you’ve been doing it for as long as you can remember. You started scribbling little stories and poems when you were seven. Tales about a family of mice hunting for cheese and poems about cats and bats, only because they were the only words you knew that rhymed. You also liked journaling, harping on how your classmate Jenna made fun of your thick glasses and lamenting the fact that your crush Brian never liked you back. 

Why do you write? Perhaps you write because it’s the one thing you’re good at. Every time you shared your work in class, your classmates always said you were meant to be a writer. You have talent, a professor once said, put it to use. You failed that chemistry test on chemical bonding because you were thinking about the bond between Katniss and Peeta. Your art teacher gave you an F when you drew Platform Nine and Three Quarters instead of a picturesque verdant valley. The writing in this paper is so beautiful, your history teacher said to you, but I don’t see any analysis of the causes of the Civil War. 

Why do you write? Perhaps you write because you don’t want your writing to go to waste. You want your trials and tribulations to pay off. All those short stories you wrote, clogging up space on your hard drive. All those times your hand cramped from frantic brainstorming. All those hours you spent caring for your book, your baby. You want someone to read your work, to feel something, anything. The pain can’t all be for nothing. Right?

Why do you write? Perhaps you write to prove the skeptics wrong. All the naysayers who laughed in your face when you said you wanted to be a writer. The disappointed looks of your parents, the worried looks of your few friends, the annoyed looks of your landlords, all of them pleading with you to get a “real job” so you don’t have to live off Big Macs anymore. You want to walk past a bookstore with them and smile smugly when their eyes widen at your name emblazoned across a bestseller. 

Why do you write? Perhaps you write to express yourself. You’re tired of talking about the nice weather, or how well-cooked the steak is. But that’s all you can talk about to assure your audience you’re fine. People ask what it’s like being a writer. You tell them you’re learning so much about writing. But really, you’re learning how far a dollar can stretch. Everything that comes out of your mouth is censored. The only thing you don’t lie to is your computer, open to a new Microsoft Word document.

Why do you write? Perhaps you write to escape from the world. The real world has always been disappointing compared to Pern, Narnia, and Wonderland. Real people have always been disappointing compared to Sherlock Holmes, Elizabeth Bennet, and Odysseus. You hate going outside, where there are a thousand ways to die and the noise is as sharp as a knife. Each conversation drains you like how each transaction drains your bank account. When you write, you enter a world where the unpaid bills on your desk don’t exist. A world of your own making, uncorrupted by the darkness of reality. 

Why do you write? Perhaps you write so that one day, a toddler will read your book until the spine falls off. A child will dream of reaching the stars after reading your book, inspired. A teenager will clutch your book to their heart with all their might, finally understood. An adult will gently set your book on their shelf, smiling with gratitude. 

Why do you write? Perhaps you write because you just love it. You’ve always preferred learning about Middle Earth to learning about photosynthesis, creating characters to solving algebraic equations, reading in the library to laughing with peers. Finishing the first draft of your first crappy novel gave you more joy than getting an A+ on an English essay ever did. You live for the clicking of the keyboard, the blinking of the cursor as it runs along the screen. You live for the satisfaction of typing the last period of a short story. 

Why do you write? Perhaps you write because it is a means of catharsis. People can’t know you’re struggling, so you’ve become a kettle, your thoughts and emotions building inside you like steam. You have to let them out on the keyboard, expunging yourself of pain, shame, regret, and self-loathing until all that’s left of you is an empty glass that’s ready to be filled again. You have to scream your true self into the void, hoping that somebody, anybody, will scream back. There has to be someone out there, right?

Why do you write? But perhaps you write because it makes you whole in a way nothing else can. Writing is the cheese to your macaroni, the oxygen to your fire. Writing feels like the gentle caress of the sun after hours of rain. Like a cup of rich hot chocolate on a cold winter night. Like a cool breeze on a hot, humid day. Writing is your best friend, your lover, your child. Your everything. 

Why do you write? You've finally captured the antelope and found the answer. The glass that is your life is full, overflowing. So you pour yourself a cup of tea, flip open your laptop, and begin typing.

February 23, 2023 17:24

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24 comments

Delbert Griffith
21:45 Feb 23, 2023

Well, it's a beautiful tribute to writing, first of all. More importantly and poignantly, we see the writer through the multitudes of answers that they give. This is a psychological portrait of every true writer, and it is wonderful in its comprehensiveness. This is a cautionary tale, a fable with a heart, an elongated haiku, a whisper in the ear of the literary gods. Most of, it's a love story about a lover who is both fickle and constant. This is one writer's rhapsody about something that will never be fully understood but is embraced. W...

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Sophia Gavasheli
02:55 Feb 24, 2023

Thanks so very much, Delbert! "A lover who is both fickle and constant" -YES! I definitely poured a lot of myself into this one.

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AnneMarie Miles
02:31 Sep 01, 2023

Well, this was a perfect first story to read as I'm coming back into the lovely Reedsy world. I'm certain every writer on here could read this and find themselves in at least two, if not all, of these answers. Reading the parts about writing because you've been doing it ever since you can remember and because it feels like the only thing you're good at were the two for me, although they were not the only ones that touched home for me. Thank you for these inspirational reminders to continue with this sometimes maddening and beautiful craft. A...

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Sophia Gavasheli
03:51 Sep 01, 2023

Thank you so much, Anne Marie! I'm so glad it was relatable.

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Michał Przywara
21:02 May 15, 2023

With pieces like this, I'm always curious to see how other writers see writing - and then I'm startled by how relatable it is :) The piece is a smooth meditation, giving us a tour of the lows and highs of the craft. A lot of people might not understand why anyone would put up with the lows, but the highs definitely make it worthwhile.

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Sophia Gavasheli
11:43 May 16, 2023

Yes, exactly! The cool thing about writing about writing is how universal it is. Thanks for reading!

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Amanda Lieser
19:40 Mar 14, 2023

Hey Sophia! Congratulations on the well-deserved shortlist! I really really enjoyed this piece, and I think that most of the writers within this community can finally feel that they’ve been heard after reading this one I thought that you did an excellent job of answering the prompt and rising to the occasion of capturing the hearts of your fellow writers. I love the way you will then all of those incredible literature references that I found myself retracing my own life, and how it got me to this point. Nice job!

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Sophia Gavasheli
11:42 Mar 15, 2023

I'm glad this piece led to some thoughtful reflection. Thank you for reading and commenting! ☺️

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Cindy Strube
01:59 Mar 07, 2023

Fantastic expression of writerly feeling! It’s poetic and heartfelt, something all here can appreciate. Congratulations!

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Sophia Gavasheli
13:02 Mar 07, 2023

Thanks, Cindy!

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Wendy Kaminski
15:15 Mar 03, 2023

Fantastic work, Sophia! Hearty congratulations on a well-deserved shortlist award this week!

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Sophia Gavasheli
16:28 Mar 03, 2023

Thank you so much! Still floating from happiness.

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Aaron Vitatoe
03:55 Mar 03, 2023

Critique Circle! I love this piece. Maybe it's because I relate a little too much, but I absolutely love the 2nd person storytelling. In my opinion, writing in 2nd person can be so hard to pull off, but you've done it wonderfully. And you certainly know your audience. You've clearly put a lot of yourself into this, as all great writers do. But you didn't choose the most "unique" bits. You kept it unique enough to give the story character, but perfectly walked the line between being engagingly unique and being too obscure to relate to. Eve...

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Sophia Gavasheli
12:41 Mar 03, 2023

Thank you for your praise, and your critique! Honestly, I wrote this up in about an hour and a half, and then barely edited it because I couldn't think of anything. I can see how those phrases might be annoying though.

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Aaron Vitatoe
01:29 Mar 04, 2023

Annoying is the last word I'd use! Maybe a little distracting, but overall, it was such a small thing. Honestly, I couldn't tell it was put together quick, it felt so well crafted. Congrats on the short list, by the way!!!!

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Sophia Gavasheli
03:39 Mar 04, 2023

😊

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Michelle Oliver
12:36 Feb 28, 2023

This reads like poetry, so heartfelt and real, as if you poured so much of yourself into it. And I know we can all relate to your words, your answers and reasons. Why do you write is almost as silly a question as why do you breathe. Answer- Because I have to. I love the antelope image in the beginning and how you bring back that picture in the end, a lovely sense of completion. Thanks for sharing

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Sophia Gavasheli
12:46 Feb 28, 2023

Thank you so much for your kind words! "Because I have to" - so true. Probably a better answer to the question than this entire story :)

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S N
01:10 Feb 27, 2023

God, this is beautiful. Felt.

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Sophia Gavasheli
01:57 Feb 27, 2023

Thanks!

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Akash Joshi
21:16 Feb 24, 2023

I can see why you're proud of this... Although it's hard for me to relate to the character (or you,) because I've always been a topper in school, this piece has influenced me to write more and be candid in my writing. Thanks so much for writing this...

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Sophia Gavasheli
23:09 Feb 24, 2023

I'm so glad it had a positive influence! I was actually a pretty good student, so that part isn't entirely true, but a lot of the sentiment was.

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Akash Joshi
07:51 Feb 25, 2023

Nice! And good luck with your novel too.

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Sophia Gavasheli
15:42 Feb 25, 2023

😊

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