A Young Man in the Rain

Journal Entry 33

I’ve been typing my thoughts down on Google Docs now for over a month and I have to thank my therapist again for this ingenious idea. I do not believe I would've ever thought of typing out my thoughts at the end of each day unless she had suggested it. There is something tremendously relieving about reflecting on each day and, in my opinion, not enough people do it. Of course, journaling requires one to think pretty deeply about one's own life and the choices they make and the reasons behind their choices. As a result, journaling can sometimes be a saddening way to spend one's time, especially when thinking about the things we feel like we messed up on in life. 

In my opinion, regret is a major reason why people avoid journaling. For a lot of people, the pain of regret is just too unbearable. Thinking about that time we were being serious when we should’ve been silly; the days we spent alone when we should’ve spent them being in love; the great friendship we let sink; or the significant other we let slip through our fingers. It all can be a little too overwhelming to think about sometimes. But we must acknowledge that we all have regrets and that it is normal to be regretful. We all feel the pain from it, but we must move on because dwelling on the past won’t help in any way.

Also, I must quickly admit, before I start to write about what happened to me today, that Mike has been telling me for quite some time that I should journal my thoughts. I don’t know why I didn’t listen to him though, because as soon as Leah suggested that I might find some benefits in typing out my thoughts, reflecting on my day sounded like a great idea. So, to Mike, I’m sorry.

Today was a particularly interesting day and I am very excited to write about what happened. It is quite the odd thing that I witnessed, but nevertheless humans will be humans, and, looking back, what I saw was actually quite heart-warming. With all the young people in today's world glued to their video games and social media, I was very happy to bear witness to today's event.

To start off, I woke up at seven to the sound of pattering from above echoing throughout an empty house. Mike has gone on a golf trip to Michigan with an old work friend of his and will be back on Thursday. So, until then it’s just me. It’s such a weird feeling to be in the house alone. For as long as I can remember, this house has never had just one person spending several consecutive nights here by themselves. But with the kids all grown up and moved out with families of their own, and Mike in Michigan, it's just me. It makes me a little sad, to be honest, but Mike will be back soon so there's no reason to get too gloomy.

But anyways, today, Lindsey, Janette, Lauren and I had a nine o’clock tee time. We golf every Tuesday, which is ladies’ day at Knollwood. But due to the rain, this ended up being canceled. I was about to be stuck inside by myself all day when thankfully Janette texted in the group chat asking if anyone could do lunch. We all agreed upon seeing each other for lunch at the country club at noon, and I was so glad because otherwise it would've been quite a boring day for me.

After I got out of bed, I did my usual morning routine: tall glass of orange juice, two 1000mg fish oil pills that are the size of Jupiter, twenty minutes of stretching and light lifting, followed by walking on the treadmill in the basement for forty minutes, and then finally shower, dress, makeup, and breakfast.

Now, I know this is bad of me to say, but I drink bottled water rather than tap. And unfortunately, today we were out. So, instead of just getting a glass out of the cabinet and filling it in the sink, during my workout I drank bottled apple juice. Afterwards, I got in the Volvo and went to the CVS around the corner to pick up a twelve pack of water. My guess is that the tap water is safe to drink, but if I’m being honest, I just don’t trust it; we’ll leave it at that.

When I got back to the house the rain was calmly coming straight down. Seeing this, I decided to crack open the windows in the living room and listen for a little while. There's a feeling I get that is so pleasant when the gentle pitter-patter of the countless rain droplets hitting the Earth in unison and the fresh smell of nature being pushed around by the splashing rain interact with my senses and just make me so happy to be alive. 

Enjoying the freshened atmosphere, I sat down in one of the armchairs and opened my new book I had ordered online. It's set in a small town in Arkansas where two young sisters have been murdered, and now the police have to find the killer before the third and final sister is killed. I know women liking murder mysteries is a stereotype that is sort of true in a lot of cases, but I really like mystery novels revolving around young women who have been murdered–and I’m not ashamed to admit it. 

The thing is though, I only got a couple pages in before I lost my concentration. For some reason I just couldn’t get into the book. My eyes kept losing focus on the text, and then I started thinking about what the kids and the grandchildren and Mike could be up to.

For a while I thought about laying down on the couch and closing my eyes, because, in my opinion, falling asleep to the sound of rain pattering all around is one of the most peaceful, and if I dare say, romantic things a person can do. There was even a little light thunder in the distance, which made me even more content. 

I did not close my eyes though. I didn’t want to accidentally fall asleep and miss lunch with the ladies. Instead, I grabbed my iPad off the coffee table. I recently started a good show on Netflix, and I can’t keep my mind off of it. My daughter recommended it to me. It's called Emily in Paris, and I absolutely love it. While my guess is that it is intended for younger women, I must say that as a woman pushing her mid-sixties–that hurt–I do enjoy the show very much. And while I’m thinking about it, men could watch it too. I doubt many men are watching Emily in Paris though. It’s strange how society creates these norms in which certain groups of people are supposed to act and think a certain way. Like apparently if one is a straight man, they are supposed to watch stuff that revolves around sports, degeneracy, war, etc. At least that's my opinion about the stereotype for “straight men’s television options.” 

To be honest, I think more men watch these “girly” types of shows than society lets on. Mike would not like that I’m writing this, but once I did walk in on him watching Sex and the City while he was in his study. And that's fine. It’s the 21st century. The century of kindness. But I do laugh whenever I think about him taking advice from Carrie Bradshaw. Did I mention Mike was once in the Marine Corps?

Anyhow, it was a pleasant light rain for most of the morning. Once I started watching my show, I hardly noticed the rain at all. But around ten-thirty, a loud rushing sound coming from above the ceiling made me pause my show for a couple of minutes just so I could sit and listen. 

After a few minutes, I got up to look out the bay window in the kitchen. The weeping leaves of the willow were bending and dancing in the wind. Gusts of wind rippled the surface of the pond back and forth while one of the chairs on the deck fell over on its side.

When I turned to go sit back down, my eyes quickly caught the mist coming through the screen of the living room windows, puddling up on the wood floor. I quickly went over and shut those windows, getting a little more water on me then I would’ve liked. I went to the kitchen and got a towel from under the sink to wipe up the water on the floor. I was not happy when I saw dry, crusty stains from whatever we had previously eaten all over the towel. I was very irritated while wiping up the water, but my irritation was short-lived when I noticed out of the corner of my eye something “irregular” moving outside. I turned to look out the window and a young man who was shirtless, barefoot, and in navy blue athletic shorts, was standing in the neighbor's yard just off the patio. My guess is that it was one of the neighbors' sons. They have three boys, two of whom I think are in high school and one in college, but to be honest I’m not very sure. Since I could see only his back, I have no clue who I was watching.

Whoever it was, he didn’t move at all. He just stood there in the wind and the pouring rain, looking at the forest preserve our houses back up against. I thought maybe he was sad or possibly having a crisis of some sort since he wasn’t moving. I wanted to call out to him to see if he was okay, but a couple of seconds later he lifted his chin to the clouds and repeatedly put his hands through his hair like he was taking a shower or something. It was quite peculiar.

I remember looking down at my smartwatch after it had vibrated to inform me I had a message notification, when suddenly I heard a joyous howl. When I looked up, the young man was halfway across the yard in a dead sprint towards the woods. His arms were stretched outwards to the side like he was about to give someone a big bear hug. I watched him run straight to the tree line and then disappear into the forest. I continued to look at the spot he had entered the woods for some time, but I never saw him come back out. As far as I am aware, no one has raised any alarms so he must be back okay. 

I hope.

It was such an odd thing to witness, and to be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever observe something quite like it again. Even though it was pouring down rain, I thought about going over next door to see if everything was okay. I even thought about calling the police–though that seemed extreme–but from what I saw, the young man seemed so incredibly happy, so I just let it go. Besides, the forest preserve only takes fifteen or twenty minutes to walk across, so it’s not like it's a national park with mountain ranges and whitewater rapids where he could be lost forever.

I really hope he wasn’t on drugs though. Mike and I have lived next door to that family for years and have talked to the parents quite frequently. My impression is that they’re a very clean cut and well-mannered family. The parents are both hard-working engineers, so it doesn’t strike me that the kids would be doing drugs, but I guess I don’t know the kids that well so it's always a possibility.

No matter what was going through his head, I guess the lesson in all of tonight’s reflection is to never conform to societal norms no matter how “different” the behavior. As long as one is not being violent or creepy, I would argue odd behavior is okay.

Anyways, I think I’ll stop writing here for the night. Nothing much happened at lunch with the ladies other than talking about what we always talk about: “Whose kids are doing what at their jobs? How are the grandchildren doing? What renovations are taking place at whose house? What are the husbands up to? Emotions and sex. Latest trends, gossip and small talk, etc.” 

Also, I don’t want to forget this, but I did receive a message around seven this evening. The rain ended around four-ish, the clouds giving way to a pleasant golden sunshine for the evening. Lauren had texted saying, “Amazing sunset! Let’s go for a walk.” At first, I didn't want to, but looking out my backyard window and seeing the sun sink below the forest preserve silhouette, I decided it was too pleasant of an evening to pass up. So, Lauren and I did a couple laps around the neighborhood since she lives pretty close by. We enjoyed the sunset together. 

I didn’t tell her about what I saw today though because something inside me told me to keep it to myself. There was something about seeing that young man sprinting across the yard in the downpour today that, when looking back, brings a smile to my face. I really liked seeing that peculiar behavior. I really don’t know how to explain this last part, but I knew if I told her–or anyone for that matter–about what I saw, something about that moment would be damaged. And in a world that overshares, there's something to be said for keeping beautiful moments like the one I saw today, untold.