Back to Square One It Is

This is how it started....

Just kidding. My life isn't some Star Wars: Revenge of The Sith crap. I'm just a regular 15-year-old trying to figure out what the bleep I'm doing with my life.

Ahh, you want an introduction? You want me to explain why I'm doing this? See, the thing is, I don't. I don't know what I'm doing, signing up for a cheap-bleep website that offers 'therapy'.

Guess I'll shut the computer. I shouldn't send this message to you, my so-called 'therapist'. What will you say to me anyway? What everyone else has been saying? That I'm fine? That I'm overreacting?

Well, suppose I might as well tell you what happened.

6 months ago, I decided to change. 'Change'. Stop hanging out with the kids I did, try to work on getting my grades up, stop being depressed.

So, I did. Or, I tried. How is someone supposed to do that when nobody will listen to her though?

I tried to raise my grades, stop hanging out with my friends, but here's what happened: When I tried to study harder, my friends told me not to, and I told them I had to, but then they said my grades wouldn't get better. I shook my head at them and said no, and then they laughed at me. They laughed at me. Something I can't take is being laughed at. Especially when it isn't a joking manner, and when the people are supposed to be trusted people.

So, I packed up my studying stuff, and hung out with them. This happened every time, until I decided I couldn't let this continue. Here's how it went:

"Desperato! How's mah girl doing?" Ashley came up and wrapped an arm around my neck.

I struggled not to roll my eyes or duck out of her hold. Desperato basically meant hopeless in every language. They named me that because my name is Hope, yet they say, 'when you enter our group, you ditch your real name'. And they decided hopeless wasn't enough for me. Desperato. What a disgusting, hopeless name.

"Ashley, I need to talk to you and the group about something," I said, slowly grabbing her arm and removing it from my proximity.

"And what could that be?" Derek came asked, popping out of nowhere with all the group.

I struggled to look at them in the eyes when I said, "I need to stop hanging out with you guys."

A couple seconds of silence.

Then.

"HAHAHA! You know you don't have to do what your parents tell you to, right?" Grey laughed, hands on his knees as he kept on laughing.

Quickly everyone joined and soon I was surrounded by laughing jerks.

Then Ashley again put her hand on my shoulder and said, "For real, girl. Just go behind their backs. What they don't know won't hurt them."

This time I didn't hesitate to duck out of her grasp and give her a disgusted look.

"Are you serious? I want to listen to my parents, not lie to them. Besides," I added, glaring at them all, "my parents aren't the ones that said to stop hanging out with you guys. I decided myself. At first I wasn't sure because I didn't know whether or not you guys were really bad, but this just solidified my decision. Go behind my parents backs? You guys are bad influences. I can't hang out with you."

With that, I turned around, holding my satchel tightly as I walked away. And then suddenly a cold, hard grip was on my shoulder, making it impossible for me to walk away.

"You really wanna do that girly? You know, here I was, thinking you could actually join us. Guess it's a good thing I didn't tell you everything. I'll give you a chance, though," Ashley's cold, threatening voice sounded nothing like it had before, "You stay with us, you keep your reputation and other things you hold dear. You don't, say bye to your ego, dignity, and so much more."

I felt stiff underneath her hold. Fear slowly crept up my spine as her hand remained there. Finally, I turned to look at her, eyes meeting hers.

"Anyway, toodles!" She said, giving a fake smile as she let go of me, bounding away, before giving me one last glance, "You have till midnight~!"

This time I watched her retreating form, fear churning in my stomach. What were they capable of? I knew they could be dangerous, but those threats...those couldn't be real. They were just bluffing, right?

That night, my house burned down. My parents with it. I had been out at work, and driving home, I got stuck in traffic. The police and firefighters estimate the fire started at around 12:00 AM.

I know you think this sounds fake. Heck, I don't believe it much myself either. I still don't know whether or not Ashley and the others did it, but the police claimed the fire was not an accident.

At school, people said that I had stolen Ashley's cardigan and Brittney's computer. Sure enough, when I opened my locker, they came tumbling out.

Those little bleeps. How could they? All I had worked for, down the drain. Now I was suspended from school, put up on the orphanage list, fired from work, and everything wasn't working.

That was 2 months ago. I've been relocated to a city called Arcanina, farrrrrr away, far enough to not harm anyone. I'm still at the orphanage.

Before I was relocated, I had a funeral to go to. Nobody talked to me. Nobody really consoled me. Who would? I had been seen with lots of stolen items after the first incidents, and somehow, people thought I had started the fire.

After everyone left, I placed the bouquet on the new tombstones for Mother and Father.

As I looked at them, I chuckled dryly to myself, wondering if I was going mad.

Such a cliche story. Yet here I am, about to hit send on the button of this message.

Before I do, do you wanna know something? I said one last thing to my parents' tombstones before leaving. And I'll say it back at you.

Looks like I'm all the way back to square one, huh?