The Meinus Touch

Once upon a time not so long ago, there was a king named Meinus, who ruled over a kingdom called The Land of Perfect, and it was so perfectly named. The kingdom was filled with pretty houses and scattered throughout the land, laid parks, and luscious green meadows. All the citizens of the land had everything they could desire. Two cars in the driveway, HD televisions in every room, bright, healthy children, and incomes capable of supporting their lifestyles in comfort. Everything that everyone desired was available at their fingertips. It was such a wonderful place that soon word of this near magical kingdom spread, and people from afar began to travel to The Land of Perfect, seeking to live in this wonderful place.

When the travelers from afar began to arrive, the king was overjoyed and threw open the gates of the kingdom, and with open arms, invited all who came. But as time went on, the citizens of The Land of Perfect began to complain. “Sire, so many people have come to our land, and now the streets are crowded. Many of them don’t have a place to stay. They’re ignorant of our way of life and are infecting our children with their cultures and ideas. Before they arrived, our children would go to school and excel in class. Now they question everything they’re taught and refuse to do their homework.”

Sadly, the king was foolish and refusing to deal with this problem, concocted an excuse instead. “You’re right," he replied. "We must do something about this. Starting today, we will build new homes for our fellow immigrants, and of course, we can’t let them go hungry. So, we must also give them money, so they can buy food and clothes. We wouldn’t want them to starve now, would we? As for your children, I believe if you urge them on and help them with their studies, they will get better grades and things will be like they were before.”

And so, the people left, thinking the king had things under control, but if that were true, this would have been the end of the story.

As time went on, new buildings were constructed, in hopes of housing all the immigrants, and money was given to those in need, but in the end, the ones who eventually paid for it were the citizens of The Land of Perfect.

Time went on and foreigners kept flooding the streets. It wasn't long before King Meinus came to realize new housing wasn’t enough. So, he declared, “We need to do more for the refugees. It would be inhumane for us to let them starve on our streets. We must build even more housing and give them more than just money. From now on, we will also give them cars and free education.”

When the citizens heard this, they revolted. “Why spend millions of dollars of our money on those we never invited to come? Why should we be the ones who suffer, while those who invaded our borders live in comfort?”

But the king refused to listen to their pleas. “These people are homeless and need our help,” he cried. “Are you all so selfish that you can only think of yourselves? If you do, then you’re all racists!”

The citizens of The Land of Perfect were stunned at the king's remarks. “We’re not racists,” they cried. But that was it. Not wanting to be repeatedly accused of such hatred, they quietly returned to their homes, deciding to let things be. It wasn't long after that incident when things began to spiral out of control.

Though King Meinus continued to build more housing and hand out millions to strangers, the influx of immigrants continued to ravage the kingdom. More people arrived than could be housed, and soon these immigrants began sleeping on the streets. The children of those immigrants began attending school. When it got to the point where crowded classrooms became a nightmare, the members of the school board approached King Meinus.

“Sire,” they cried. “The classrooms are being overwhelmed with students. The teachers not only have to teach their regular curriculum, but they also need to work on getting the foreign students caught up in their studies as well as teaching them English. Something must be done.”

Giving a deaf ear to the pleas of the board, the king clapped his hands together and laughed. “Why do you bring a problem like this to me when the answer is so simple? Lower the standards of the class curriculum, so everyone passes. Everyone graduates and the problem disappears.

The board members were flabbergasted at the king’s response. “How could he be so obtuse to the seriousness of their problem?” But like the citizens before him, they left scurrying with their tails tucked between their legs.

Not long after the board members ran to hide in the shadows, the citizens of The Land of Perfect began to rebel. “This isn’t right!” they shouted. “Our town is turning into a cesspool, and we can’t even afford to live comfortably anymore. Our king is strangling us, as well as our way of life. Down with the king!”

When the king caught word of the rebellion, he called for his advisors and pleaded with them. “What should I do?”

After conferring among themselves, the eldest advisor turned to the king and replied, “Sire, if the people are united, then you must divide them.”

“And how should I do that?” he cried.

The eldest advisor cracked a smile. “Divide and distract. Give the people other things to think about, things that have ambiguous answers.”

“Such as?” the king asked.

“Abortion, for one. Take a side and soon the people will split into two groups. One for and one against. In the end, they will ignore you and fight with each other. And that’s only the beginning.”

Eyes wide opened with excitement, the king said, “Tell me more.”

“We need to further divide the people,” continued the advisor. “We must give them more to fight over. Gay rights, women’s rights, racial equality standards, shall we declare war or not? The list is endless! The more you give the people to bicker about, the more splintered they’ll become. Their strife against each other will leave them powerless, making them nothing more than a nuisance to you.”

That evening, King Meinus declared to the people, “The Land of Perfect is no longer what it used to be. Changes need to be made, beginning with the right of free and equal choice. When it comes to choices, all should be free to make their own personal choices, including the guests in our kingdom. These include women’s rights to abortion, all immigrants will be given citizenship, and everyone can decide what gender role they wish to live, among other things. To cover the costs for these changes as well as for the continuing construction of the housing for the immigrants, I will increase the tax on the wealthy, so you, the average citizen, won't have to spend an extra dime.

I also want you to know that I will not force this down your throat. So, talk it over with your friends and neighbors and let me know if you decide against it. I kindly await your response.”

As the advisors predicted, the citizens of The Land of Perfect squabbled among themselves, to a point where animosity thrived, and the people could never agree on a single plan. Time passed and since no one approached the king about his proposal, King Meinus' decree became law.

Distrust grew and soon after, people quit greeting each other on the streets and refused to look each other in the eyes. The crime rate soared, and the people feared going out after dark.

Living standards decreased, neighborhoods turned into shambles, thanks to the homeless settlements cramming parks and alleyways. Schoolyards became home to junkies and dealers, and street corners were converted to storefronts for prostitution. As for the tax on the rich, which consisted of companies and corporations, the costs of taxes that were levied on them were passed onto the consumers.

In the end, the citizens of The Land of Perfect paid dearly for the king's follies. The Land of Perfect became perfect for only one person, and that was King Meinus, who lived happily ever after.

The End.