Tug of War: A State of Limbo

Downtown, a squawking crow perched on a third-story windowsill emits its harsh, guttural cry, piercing the stillness of the muted neighborhood like a rough-edged note: CAW. CAW. CAW. Its presence adds a touch of wildness to the concrete jungle below, evoking a sense of foreboding, turning joggers’ heads, and making dogs bark.

God, Damn’t! Sandy moaned, hurling her alarm clock across the room like a quarterback. She didn’t have time to shower, let alone brush her bedhead. No toothpaste? Or brush her teeth.

She cursed under her breath, struggling to put on her heels, and realized they were different. She snatched her keys and stormed out the door, convinced she would get mangled in traffic on her commute to the office.

A police officer scratching on a pad saluted her in the street. Her face turned cherry red, and she kicked a garbage can when she saw the boot. She maneuvered along the crumbling sidewalk, feeling like the universe conspired against her. A treacherous day was looming.

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Meanwhile, a brilliant Meadowlark adorned in a cloak of vibrant yellow plumage perched on a blooming magnolia branch in Uptown. Its crystalline liquid whistle cascaded in a mesmerizing melody, blessing the surroundings with its enchanting song. Its voice, with its flute-like notes, danced upon the air.

Brilliant! Heather resonated as she awoke. It’s going to be a great day. Her internal clock was always ticking 15 minutes ahead.

She blushed, admiring the reflection in the mirror, feeling encouraged to take on the day. The Meadowlark song outside her window added to her sense of calm and contentment. Heather left for work, stealing one last glance at the songbird.

She had ample time to grab a coffee. Wow, extra whipped cream, my favorite, she said to the barista. 

Heather sipped her coffee with contentment and decided to take a different route to work. The unexpected detour added a sense of adventure to her morning routine. The winding lane took her through a quaint neighborhood with blooming flowers and colorful murals, making her commute more enjoyable. Heather arrived at work feeling refreshed and grateful for the spontaneous change in scenery.

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Heather and Sandy arrived at Stackton, Inc., simultaneously. As they entered the towering building, the revolving door spun as if taunting a game of Russian Roulette. The girls stared at each other as if in a Western standoff, waiting for the first move. Sandy took a step forward and grumbled something under her breath. Heather smiled and gestured her arm towards the door.

Sandy’s feet slipped, shuffled, and skidded across the marble floor, causing Mr. Mop Maestro, the janitor, to roll his eyes and point to the bright yellow WET sign.

Once inside, Ann, the receptionist, greeted Heather and offered her a blueberry muffin. They exchanged some light-hearted banter before Heather walked towards the elevator. The janitor, Mr. Davis (his actual name), extended his arm and escorted Heather across the shiny marble floor. As she glided by, employees waved and smiled at her.

Heather and Mr. Davis were chatting while waiting for the elevator. Sandy was struggling with the broken clasp on her shoe. As the elevator doors opened, Sandy stormed in. Heather followed. Sandy was huffing and puffing, searching for her access card in her purse. Mr. Davis chuckled at the situation. As the elevator doors were about to close, someone shouted, Wait! Sandy rolled her eyes while Heather tried to halt the doors from closing by ramming her arm into them.

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On Main Street. I could feel my cat, Orange Peel, weave in and out of my legs, purring. Her meows vibrated in a monotone drone around my head, buzzing me from sleep.

I lay in bed, undecided whether to sleep for another 10 minutes or start my day. After 30 minutes, I dragged myself out of bed. Should I shower? I swiped my fingers through my hair. I took a bath instead. As I soaked in the lukewarm water, my mind drifted back to the previous day’s events, replaying them in my memory. The cat’s meows echoed down the hall, a reminder of the present moment.

I laid out a yellow dress and black pants and told Orange Peel to pick. The cat pounced on the bed and settled on my pillow, so I picked out a nice pair of jeans and a button-up shirt.

I intended to take the bus, but the pleasant weather convinced me to bike. When I got to work, I realized I had forgotten to lock my bike, so I had to return and padlock it.

Scurrying back into the building, I saw the doors closing and yelled, Wait!

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Up? Heather asked, arching her eyebrows.

Down? Sandy asked, putting her air pods in.

I just stood there, unresponsive, torn between two realms. Both are vying for my allegiance. Up or down? Right or wrong? Heather or Sandy? Heaven or Hell?

The eternal conflict I am forever playing tug-of-war within my mind began to tighten its grip.

I remind myself that options exist.

Heather’s affectionate allure evokes a world of perpetual bliss, harmony, and everlasting peace and joy. If I choose her, companionship and love await me. Her brown hair, painted with golden hues, and her harmonious laughter resonate through my soul. Her eyes promise peace of mind and contentment, and I cannot help but feel drawn to her.

I imagine lazy Sunday mornings wrapped in her arms, the outside world fading into insignificance. Yet, lurking beneath the surface is a gnawing fear - will this serenity eventually turn stagnant? Will I suffocate in the comfort of Heather's embrace, longing for the thrill of the unknown?

On the other hand, Sandy tempts me with her passionate disposition, wild and untamed, her fiery spirit igniting a spark of excitement within. She offers an exciting life of adventure and freedom—a world where I can be myself without judgment or limits. A life chock-full of unbridled passion, power, and anguish, with the allure of unrestrained freedom, awaits.

I envision endless nights of laughter and exhilarating escapades, a life unfettered by convention or restraint. But alongside the allure of freedom comes a shadow of doubt - can I keep pace with Sandy's boundless energy? Will I be consumed by the chaos of her world, left adrift in a sea of uncertainty? How long could I endure it? Would there be options?

The war between these two choices tugs and pulls on my mind, the tension about to snap.

Heather's presence is calming, yet I fear it may lack excitement. Sandy's world is alluring, but I am cautious of the potential consequences and the impact it could have on my well-being.

I’m Stuck in purgatory, trapped in a state of limbo, suspended between two divergent fates, each beckoning with equal fervor. I’m unable to move. Forward, Backward, Up, Down, Left, or Right. The weight of this decision feels suffocating. I know I must find the courage to choose and embrace the consequences, whatever they may be. Only then can I break free from this state of indecision and move forward with confidence and clarity.

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Honey, do you want to go up? What floor are you going to? Heather asked, placing her hand on my back.

I am so late. Where are you going? Make a decision. Sandy grunted, furrowing her eyebrows.

I’m going to take the stairs. I think. Becca said, backing out of the elevator.