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Funny

Start or end your story with someone saing, “We have all the time in the world.”

“We have all the time in the world,” he said. What are you talking about? We have to get the fucking hell out of here. This is a complete waste of time and we don't have any time to waste. Damn it. I want to get married, have kids, get a diploma, buy a house and I won't have enough fucking time because I'm in this goddamn time capsule for shit they know I didn't do. It's bullshit. 'We got all the time in the world'. You ever interviewed old bastards on their death beds. You know what the fuck they say? Every single goddamn time. 'I thought I'd have more time to do the shit I wanted to do, but life got in the way and now it's too late. Do the good stuff while you can.” That's what they say. They don't say We have all the time in the world but our time is limited and I'm wasting it in this stupid goddamn time capsule. There's no DNA. Doesn't matter. Some moron with photographic memory has an imagination and they imaged they saw me. Bastard. Motherfucking son-of-a-bitch. Try taking some deep breaths? You know in California there are forest fires and they can't even fucking breathe. Take a deep breath to calm down. How about you take a go fuck yourself? Idiot. Learn to meditate? You're funny. Me? Meditate. Oh, yea, let me just get out my invisible Iphone and download a meditation app so I'll feel better in this goddamn cell. Morons. You've been here for a while and it helps. Great. Glad it helped you. Idiot. Getting the fuck outta here is what's going to help me. Gotta pay an attorney for that, though. Oy. Look, I don't want to talk to you anymore. Solitairy confinement. You think I care about solitary confinement. Look, I just want to get a fair trial and get the fuck outta here.

The TV is on here all the time and so's the goddamn air conditioning. The morons who run this place found there's less fighting when the TV is on and the AC is up. Great. We can die of hypothermia instead of the death penalty, right? Man. Get the bottom bunk. Gotta make sure I get the bottom bunk and no fucking for me. Too many stories of AIDS and STDS and shit.  Uh-uh. Swear. No, you idiot. I don't have any fucking time to spare. I'm getting the fuck outta here if it kills me.  

See, it used to be everyone was innocent until proven guilty, but it ain't like that anymore. It's who can afford the fancy attornies. They're the ones who go free. Gotta get a good goddamn attorney and get a loan to pay for the motherfucker. Could get a second mortgage on my house, that'd work, right? Stop saying to calm down.  It doesn't help. Just freaks me out. We could play chess or checkers. Or we could not waste time playing stupid games and see about establishing bond. Morons probably don't even know what bond is or stocks for that matter. See, I've read stories about bastards in prison and when they got out, they used expressions people don't use anymore, 'cause this is a time capsule. Don't drop the soap. Casinos and prisons stay the same. Tax payers pay for these shitholes and idiots pay the casinos and lose their money from statitions. Morons. Hell, I'm the only one in here for a white collar crime, everyone else is in here for murder, rape, robbery, domestic violence, and other blue collar crimes. Idiots. No, I don't wanna talk. Go play with yourself or read a book, or something. Damn it. Shower time? Great. Gotta go to the showers. Strip and see all the sexy men strip and lather up. Fuck I hate this goddamn place. Motherfucker.  

Mealtime. This shit shouldn't even be called food. Oh, yea, baked vegetables at a state required temperature, burnt fish, and a potato hard as a rock. Yum, yum, yum. They write down what percentage of the food we eat so the state can keep record of it. Then, the goddamn nurses come. You know, the state can't afford real doctors, so let's hire some half educated nurses. Idiots. How are you feeling today, Mr. Mister? Oh, yea. I'm just doing dandy lady? Hell, I'm in this time capsule and my feet are killing me since there's no fucking room to move in this goddamn cage, but I'm doing just fine. Oh, you got any reverse hearing aids so I don't have to listen to these other motherfucking morons talk about whatever bullshit blue collar crimes talk about? Didn't think so. See, things are going to change whether I'm there or not, but I want to be there for the changes and live my life, but I can't because I'm a prisoner, a subhuman. I'll have to work for no pay or pension for a crime I didn't commit. Right, thousands of innocent people in prison. Damn. But, forget about moratoriums. Why would that matter? Forget that it would cost, you, the idiot taxpayers less to have innocents outta prison. Oh, no. We need to keep you safe and protected, but ain't no one going to protect you from the impeccable police.  

But, in truth, we're all prisoners. We're prisoners to our jobs, our significant others, our mortgages, our bills, our bosses. And everything in America is based off of fear. You need to look younger so people will love you. You need to have the new sports car so people will look up to you. We're prisoners to our bodies, our finances, everything. We're prisoners to our hunger, our sex drives, our body systems. We're prisoners to our neighbors. To our brains. To our thoughts.  To our feelings. To our circumstances. We're all prisoners. We're prisoners to our genes, we're prisoners to our parents or legal guardian, to our teachers, to our supervisers. We're all prisoners. To our paychecks, to our landlords, to the farmers who grow our food, slaughter the meats. We're prisoners. See, being behind bars isn't the way you're a prisoner, it's how I'm a prisoner. But, you're going to read the next sentence. If you have money, you're going to eat something when you get hungry, so you're a prisoner to your digestive system, to your allergies. You're a prisoner to your government which makes the rules, to the criminals, like me, who break the rules. I'm a prisoner, but maybe you are too. Maybe you are too?  Who knows?

January 19, 2024 20:37

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