4 PM

Sydney:

In one of the downstairs rooms of my wife's and my shared home, I finally finish the final book in the series. It was a trilogy, and it was so good. I put the book back on the shelf. It's also the last unread book on the entire shelf.

I head upstairs and grab the laundry basket from our bedroom. I bring it back downstairs and start the washing machine. I find my wife outside in the pool. I head out back to join her. I don't go in, just sit on the edge with my feet in the water. When Eve sees me come out, she comes to the edge I'm on and lifts herself up, balancing on her hands to kiss my lips. She drops back into the water.

"Wanna come in?" she asks.

"I'm good," I say simply.

I watch her swim around for a little while, but I don't last long. Just looking at her makes me tear up. This time tomorrow, I won't be here. But she doesn't know that yet. Before she has the chance to see me cry, I rush back inside. I go to the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed, staring at our wedding photos until the tears blur my vision.

When I hear Eve come back inside, I rush into the bathroom and lock the door. I try to stop crying. My chest aches. I manage to steady my breathing as I hear her move around the bedroom. Eventually, she leaves.

When I'm ready, I head downstairs. I find our dog on one of the couches. He's sleeping, but I sit with him anyway. He happily accepts this new position and snuggles up to me. I sit with Charlie, just petting him and feeling his warmth against me. Eve joins me on the couch a little bit later. I rest my head on her shoulder and take a deep breath just to inhale her scent.

We sit in silence together. Eve's arm around me, my head on her shoulder, our hands held together. I hold back all the tears that fight to come out. By now, it's almost time to start our nighttime routine. But part of me doesn't want to go to bed because I just want more time. More time with Eve. More time.

But that time comes.

When we are heading to bed, all ready for sleep, I grab Eve before she can get in bed. I hold her hands as we look at each other.

"You okay?" she asks softly.

I nod. "Mhm."

She studies me, but I don't let her press me on it. I step up to her and wrap my arms around her waist. She wraps her arms around my neck. We hug for a while.

I don't want to let go.

-4 PM-

"Hun, I'm heading out! I'll be back soon!" Eve calls from downstairs.

"I love you!" I call back.

"I love you!"

And then the front door closes. I'm alone. This is it. I've made up my mind. I've just been waiting for the moment I'm alone.

I go into the bathroom—so I don’t make a mess in the bedroom. I climb into the tub with the knife.

With a tight grip, I make the first cut. Vertically down my forearm. Deep. Crimson pours out of me like a waterfall. I keep my arm in the tub to contain the mess. When the first arm is done, I finish with the other.

As I close my eyes, I drop the knife. I feel tired. My final conscious thought is of Eve.

It's always her. It will always be her.

I drift off.

Eve:

I pull up the driveway and park in the garage. I went out to get a late lunch with a friend. But now I'm home.

I always love the feeling of coming home. Knowing I have a wife waiting for me with open arms. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Syd, I'm home!" I call into the house. I get no response. Maybe she's napping. Sydney loves her day naps.

Charlie greets meat the door. I kneel to give him a kiss before he prances away. I head upstairs to see if Sydney is just asleep. But when I enter the bedroom, she isn't in bed. I see that our bathroom door is shut. Weird. We usually keep it cracked open when it's not in use.

I walk over and knock.

"Syd, you in there?" No answer.

I try the doorknob. It turns.

I push open the door.

At first, I don’t process what I’m seeing. I just stand there. Frozen. It feels like an hour passes, but it’s only a few seconds. The sound of something clattering against the tub floor snaps me out of it.

"Sydney?!"

I rush over, kneeling next to the tub.

"Syd? Syd!"

I pull out my phone and dial 911. While I talk to the operator, I check her for a pulse. I think I feel one, but I'm not sure. The dispatcher says help is on the way and tells me to try to stop the bleeding.

I grab the nearest towels. Wrap her arms. Blood soaks through almost instantly.

Her head rolls slightly as I try to shake her awake. Nothing.

I don't know how long it takes before the EMTs arrive. They make me step aside. I watch them wrap her arms and lift her from the tub. They let me ride with her in the ambulance. I don’t even think about washing my hands.

Sirens wailing. The EMTs working around me. I sit in a haze as they use the defibrillator. I hear them talk about how much blood she’s lost. How they lost a pulse.

At the hospital, I’m not allowed to stay with her. The doctors take over. The staff surrounds her—trying so hard to save her.

As I stand in the entrance, a hand is placed on my shoulder. I turn to see one of Syd's friends. He's in uniform.

"I heard it on the radio," he says, voice tight. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know," I hear myself say.

"I got here as soon as I could." He notices my hands now. "Let's get you cleaned up." He tries to lead me away, but I don't move. "Eve."

He doesn't say anything else. I think, in his heart, he knows.

He steps in front of me and hugs me. I'm too paralyzed to hug back. But he doesn't let go.

"We did everything we could."

I don't remember the doctor coming up to me. I don't remember walking to the waiting area. But I'll never forget those words.

Sydney's friend hasn't left my side. I feel his arms around me. I feel my heart break. I feel my body collapse. I feel the scream tear through my throat.

They let me see her. Sydney. My wife. She's lying in a hospital bed. Still in her clothes. Arms wrapped. No tubes. No machines. Nothing keeping her alive.

She's already gone.

I hug her lifeless body. Pull her close. Wish I could feel her arms wrapping around me. Telling me this is all some horrible dream.

But none of that happens.

She's still dead when I open my eyes.

Eventually, they tell me I have to let go.

I lay her back down. I cup her face in my hands. Stroke her cheeks with my thumbs. I lean in and kiss her lips—one last time.

"I love you," I whisper. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

-

I jolt awake, screaming.

The bed dips next to me.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. "It was just a dream."

Charlie crawls over to me and licks my hand, curling up against me.