Memories

“Dad, I hate this!” her voice was breaking up a little.

“Hon, it’s only been six months,” Everett said.

“Well, I know that, but—”

“But what?” he asked, “you’re homesick? It’s too hard? You didn’t know it was gonna be like this? You miss your friends, family, etcetera?”

“Well, I mean, yeah,” she chuckled a little.

“Alex, home isn’t going anywhere. It’ll be here when you get done. Stop thinking about what you left behind and focus on your future.”

That did it. The perfect advice from a high school drop out to a straight-A student. Alex paused for a moment to realize how ridiculous she was being. Millions of people go to college, many of them away from home. It wasn’t even that hard, but two minutes ago she was ready to give it all up over sentimental nonsense.

“Did I lose you?” Everett moved the phone up and around as if trying to find a stronger signal, “Alex, are you still there? Hello?”

“Yes. I’m still here,” she replied, “Dad?”

“hmm, yeah?”

“How do you always know what to say?”, her voice was stronger now.

“Easy,” he answered, “I just say what I wish someone had said to me.”

“…coding. Can you hear me? Stay with…” but the light is too bright.

“What about coming to work with you?” Alex asked.

Everette placed the spread knife on the top of the open mayonnaise jar, leaned on the counter with his palms and looked at his daughter, incredulous. 

“Are you serious? What about college?” her father replied.

“What about it?” asked Alex.

“What abou—girl stop playin,” he said, picking up the spread knife. He worked another gob of mayonnaise onto a slice of bread, placed the slice on top of the completed sandwich and slid it to her across the counter. 

“No, I’m serious. What is so wrong about wanting to get my hands dirty? I thought you loved driving those big machines?” Alex asked, as she grabbed the sandwich off the plate and took a bite. Everette started on preparing a second one for himself.

“Absolutely nothing and I do. But look at me. I’m old, up to my ears in debt,” Everette paused to focus on slicing the tomato, “worked all my life and I have nothing to show for it. You have a talent, and an opportunity that I never had. Don’t waste it,” he lectured.

“I can go to college whenever I want. You saw the letter. They want me bad.”

The color ran from Everett’s face. Visions of his little girl, aged and broken from decades of knuckle-busting work suddenly flashed into his mind. Again, he placed the spread knife on top of the mayonnaise jar and stared at his daughter.

“Not on a scholarship, you can’t,” his voice a little louder now, “tell me what was the point of busting your ass getting all those good grades only to throw it away now? Alex, you already accepted the offer, you’re weeks away, you wanna spring this on me now—”

“Oh, I wish you could see the look on your face,” she cackled, “I’m messing with you Dad!”

“That is not funny,” he said, relieved.

“No, it’s hilarious!” she laughed, gently pushing his shoulder with her fingertips.

“You’re gonna put me in an early grave.” Everette declared, as he took a big bite.

Something passes overhead. What is that? Looks like… ceiling tiles. “…me o.k… we’re going to give you some…” but the light is too bright.

“OH MY GOD!” Alex screamed with joy as she ran down the stairs, “Daddy, it’s snowing!”

Everette parted the curtain over the kitchen sink window. “Dammit,” he whispered.

“Daddy, it’s snowing! It’s snowing! DAAAAAD!”

“Yeah, o.k., jeez kiddo, I heard you the first time,” Everette was not as happy. If it got bad, construction would be halted until the weather improved. He briefly remembered being just as excited about snow when he was her age, but an 8-year-old cannot know the stress of a reduced paycheck or a threatening letter from a bill collector. It was early in the winter too, which likely meant several more of these in the coming months.

“Can we go sledding?!” Alex pleaded.

“Of course we can,” Everette said, resigning himself to worry over these troubles at another time, “the sleds are in the hall closet, I think.”

“YES!” Alex jumped for joy and ran towards the hall. Ransacking the closet, she came back dragging two round plastic sleds and darted toward the front door.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Everette asked.

Alex looked back at her father, confused, “Um… sledding?” and pointed towards the door with her tiny fingers, awkwardly trying to keep hold of the round disc.

“You gotta get some warm clothes on first silly,” Everette said.

“Oh yeah!” Alex laughed, dropped the sleds in place and ran back upstairs towards her room. She grabbed her winter jacket, gloves, a knitted hat and pink furry boots, and ran back as fast as she could. She could barely contain her excitement as she put everything on.

Her father appeared from the hall, also dressed in his warm clothing, kneeling down to eye level, and helped her tuck her dark brown hair into the sides of the knitted cap, pulling it down over her ears.

“O.k., let’s go, munchkin,” he said, as he picked her up and put her over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

“Yay! ah-haha! I'm not a munjakin!” Alex yelped as the two of them poured through the door and into the cold evening.

Something on his face. A mask. Smells funny. “…oxygen. It’s going to help you breath…” but the light is too bright.

“Why not?!”, Alex yelled.

“Because you are grounded, that’s why,” Everette said calmly, “that means no phone, no parties, no nothing. To and from school and that’s it. I said three weeks and I meant it. You still have one left.”

“It’s not even a party, it’s just a few of us hanging out at Julian’s, her parents will be there, you can call them to check,” Alex was trying desperately to reason with her father, “am I grounded from literally existing in the presence of others?!”

“Don’t get smart with me unless you want another week,” Everette stated, “they’ll just have to get by without you.”

“This is so not fair!” Alex yelled as she stomped up the stairs. Her door slammed and Everette could hear a muffled “UGGGH!” coming from the other side.

“Alex,” he called up to her, “come back down here.” He paused to wait for a response. His fifteen-year-old daughter was the smartest person he knew, but lately she was impulsive and irrational. Two weeks ago, he’d caught her lying about her after school plans.

“Alex,” he called again, “I’m serious. Come back down here now.”

Her door opened and Everette could hear her foot steps coming down the stairs. Alex was nearly in tears as she appeared around the corner and stopped at the first landing. This was intentional, as the result was her father had to look up to her. He was tall, so it was usually the other way around.

“What,” she grumbled.

“You need to understand something,” Everette uncrossed his arms, awkwardly placing them by his side. He had read somewhere this would make him appear less closed off to his child’s concerns, “your integrity is your currency. It doesn’t matter how smart you are or how fast you swim if people can’t trust you.”

“I know, Dad,” Alex whispered, “I get it and I’m sorry I lied to you.”

“I appreciate that,” Everette replied, rubbing a hand over his balding head, “but your apology doesn’t change that it happened and there are consequences for your actions.”

“What’s the point of that, though? Isn’t it good enough that I learned my lesson?” Alex asked, negotiating.

“Sometimes, yes. But I told you three weeks… and what does that say about my integrity if I don’t keep my word too?”

Alex's heart sank. He was right and she could see that he wasn’t going to change his mind.

“…Daaad! Dad! I’m here”, Everette could hear his daughter’s voice calling to him, “Dad, no, no, no, no, Dad, stay with me, you’re gonna be fine, o.k.”

“…he’s coding. Sir, can you hear me? Stay with us. We’re going to give you some oxygen, it’s going to help you breathe,” a female voice said.

“The light is too bright,” Everette said as he watched the fluorescent lights alternate with the ceiling tiles in front of him. The nurse pressed the oxygen mask onto his face. It had a clean smell, different than normal air.

Voices hustled all around him, uttering mostly nonsensical things like 'defibrillation' and 'tachycardia'.

“Alex,” he whispered.

“Yes! Daddy, I’m here, you’re going to be o.k.,” she said as she tried to keep pace with the gurney.

“Alex. The light is too bright,” Everette said as he closed his eyes.

The sun was setting. Mosquitoes would be coming out soon. Alex sat on her porch, recalling her father's last words, wondering what he meant. “Three years,” she thought, “has it been that long?”