The Bathroom

This horrible event that has undoubtedly scarred me for perhaps the rest of my life, was just one event that lasted about a minute. But it was enough to make that day the worst day of my life.

I was in kindergarten, five years of age. It was lunch time. We all went to the restroom to wash our hands. I also had to go to the toilet, so I went into a stall.

One of the flaws of the bathrooms in kindergarten was that it was for both boys and girls. Maybe that was not the problem, but there was something else. I was afraid of locking the stall door, for some reason. But I was five years old, so I suppose I must have thought that I would get locked in. I can’t help but think sometimes that if I hadn’t been scared to lock the stall door, none of it would have happened.

So, I was going about my business while others were washing their hands just outside. I suppose most of them had finished washing their hands when it happened.

Suddenly, the door of the stall I was in flew open. I froze, terrified of what was going to happen next. I saw two boys from my class, smirking at me and laughing.

“There is worse than the worst!” one of them said.

I felt exposed, because I was. I felt ashamed, and shocked that these guys would do something like this. What did he mean by what he said? Why were they looking at me like that?

I don’t think they opened the stall door to go to the bathroom. I really don’t. Why would they do that together? And if they were just going to go to the bathroom, they would have closed the door the moment they realized that I was there. But they didn’t. They smirked, and they stared. They stared until all my dignity was gone. I consider this sexual assault, looking at me like that and laughing and taking my dignity from me. To this day, I suffer from the trauma of that day. I have decided to cover myself up and dress modestly just to reclaim my dignity and to have more self-esteem. I don’t think I can ever forget or forgive those guys as long as I live.