I loved you <3

TW suicide

As it creeps closer and closer, i run, run as fast as i can. I can barley see, its pitch dark out. There is a little bit of light coming ftom the moon right above me. The forest is so much scarier when its night. And especially when you dont know how or why youre there. I trip on a root of a big tree. I try to grt up, but i know its too late, i turn around just to see it standing right above me. Just as i except my fait. 

I wake up in my bed, i'm sweating. It must have just been a nightmare. I have been getting really bad nightmare recently. I get up to grab a glass of water. Because im so out of it, and dizzy. I dont think ill be going back to sleep. So i get up, grab a glass of water and sit down on the couch. Oh its only 5, ok im just gonna watch some tv. 

So i do, i text my best friend, he didnt answer. I didnt think he would but it was worth a try. His name is Ethan, hes 15, one month younger then me. Hes 6 foot 1, i know hes so tall,most fo the time its trealy scary. But i know there nothing to be scared of. His fluffy hair, which he instists its brown but its definitely black. Weve been friends since we were just little third graders. Hes helped me through some really though times. I love him, just as a friend of course. Any other way would just be gross. Also i have a girlfriend so you know. 

Her name is Vicky, she is my pride and joy. Her lond blonde hair, with not a single hair out place, her perfect curtain bangs thats always look like they took hours to perfect, but i know they didnt. She would never spend that kind of time on just her hair, to quote her, “I dont have that kind of time to waste.”. Man, shes perfect in everyway. She wears the “typical” teen girl outfits, pink crop tops, little skirts. But either way shes pretty. She doesnt wera any makeup at all. Thinking about her while tv made ma fall asleep. But this time i didnt have a nightmare, instead i dreamed of her. Vicky, and her pretty hair. Her little face, and how she has to jump to kiss my forehead. Because she 5 foot 1, and im 5 foot 7. 

Chapter 2

I woke up to my mother freaking out. 

“Mom mom, are you ok? Whats wrong?” 

“Shes gone! Lily her windows open, shes gone.” She says in a panic, lily is my little sister. And i wasnt freaking out, because i knew exactly where she was, she told me last night that she was gonna go to her boyfriends, and that she might not be here in the morning.

“Mom calm down ok, she probably just sneck out, shes 14, leave her alone. Shes fine i promise. If shes not on the bus ill tell you, ok?” 

“Ok” I knew she was spectical, but i knew she would be on the bus, because her boyfriend only lives about five houses down from ours, so you know. 

I waited for the bus, she was late as usual, it seems shes never on time. Bit as long as i get to school at a decent time it doesnt matter all that much. Unless i get hypothermia from being outside in the cold for so long. Then it matters. Finally she's here, she rolls up in her huge ass bus and says hop in like she's some cool teenager. Spolier alert, she's a grown 40 year old woman driving a big yellow school bus. Like c’mon dude. I get in and i always sit at the back with Ethan. I spend the whole drive talking about Vicky haha oops! But he doesnt mind, he loves hearing about her! He always listens to me go on and on about, and not say a word. I mean he looks happy, but at the same time sad and in pain. Maybe i should let him do the talking for once. Oh well. 

The minute i see Vicky I run at her at full speed. I love how happy she always looks when she sees me. The ear to ear smile forming on her mouth. Today she had this huge gold rinded glasses on, reading they both die at the end. I love that book so much, im guessing she was almost at the end cause i could see the little tears forming in the eyes. I go over and give her the biggest hug ever.

“Heyy its ok, i mean didnt you read the tittle? They both die at the end!”

“I mean yeah, but i didnt expect it to be the oven.” She says wiping away her tears. But then i notice Ethan, in the corner, with a little simile on with tears streaming down his face, hes looking at me. So i put Vicky down. He walks away when he sees me staring right at him. 

“Hey whats wrong?” Vicky asks, shes worried i can tell. I cant tell her.

“I just remerred, i forgot to tell you happy anniversary, so happy 1 year anniversary!”

“Oh dont thi k i forgot too.” She pulls out a huge red card thats bigger then my head! She opens it and a huge heart flys out at me, little glitter hearts fly in my face, and streamer, yes you heard me correctly, streamers fly out of the card at me. With big bubble words on the top that reads, ‘HAPPY 1 YEAR’.

“Happy anniversary, Kylie!” Its so sweet and big and excessive, i love it so much.

“I love it! Thank you vivky!” She seemed so happy, and i could tell she was up all night making ity. Because she had these huge black circles under her eyes and she was barely awake. The bell rings, and we all spread out and head to class, sadly me and vivky are not in the same class, but me and ethan are. And we sit right next to eachother. Soi had to talk to him about what had happened this morning. So i go to my seat, get my stuff.

“Listen ethan, what was up with you this morning?” He didnt answer me he just looked away, this was weird, but weirder than usal. Like something was wrong. But he always tells me stuff, and whats wrong. But it seemed like he was embarrassed about it.

“Its ok ethan, whatever it is thats bothering you cant be that embarrassing, it cant be worse then the time i was drunk and tried to seduce an 18 wheeler truck. We can get through it together!” 

“Ok ok ill tell you, but you might never see me the same again, i0”

“Oh my god are you…gay?” 

“What no!” He screamed it so loud the teacher told him to shut up.

“No no, i, im in love with-”

“A dude, its ok to be gay, why didnt you tell me?” 

“Oh my god, Kylie if you wont let me finsih i might as well not even tell you.”

“Im sorry, you can tell me ill stop.”

“Ok im in love with, you.” My brain just compltly stoped working there for a minute. I dont know what to sya, so i dont think ill say anything. Luckily class is starting so i can focus on that instead of-. Oh shit, this is just great, were learning about falling in love. This is a great way to start off the day. I dont like him, i dont think. No i dont i have a girlfriend whom i love very much. Hence i do not like him. I mean i like him as a friend, but nthing else. Like i said earlier, its gross.

So i told him i didnt like him. The next day i get a call. I answer it.

“Hello..?”

“Hi, this is Ethans mom. I know you are one of his best friends. So i thought youd be the first one to know.”

“Know what..?” And now i was concerned.

“Last night, we found ethan…D-dead.” she was starting to cry, and i could feel tears start to form in my eyes.

“Im so sorry Mrs.Randoris. Thank you for telling me first. I am so sorry for your loss.” She hung up. 

Its been 10 years since that phone call. Ive tried to get over you ethan, but i loved you. And i relize i cant just let you go. You were a huge part of my life. I loved you, and i still love you.