HOPE'S NEW YEAR

NEW YEAR'S DAY

Happy New Year to me. 2023 was a roller coaster ride for me. It has been four years since I last saw my love Jaxon. Recently I received a letter about Jaxon. In the letter it says Jaxon is alive. I spent Christmas trying to wrap my head around this.

I spent New Years Eve alone. I watched the ball drop. It was beautiful. I was a bit jealous watching the couples kissing. I wish I was kissing Jaxon. I cried because I want Jaxon here with me.

Today is New Year's Day, the beginning of a new year. The beginning of new choices. New dreams filled with peace and happiness. A new year to make what you want.

The only thing I want this year is to have Jaxon back. Four years I hated the holiday season. Celebrating Christmas has always been the worst time for me. It was during the holiday season when I last saw Jaxon. Then I realized Jaxon wouldn't be happy that I stopped celebrating Christmas. I can just imagine what Jaxon would tell me.

Christmas time was always a happy time for me and Jaxon. The new year was always a time for me and Jaxon to reflected on the past year and to make new promises. One thing I'm promising Jaxon to do in 2024 is to be happy. I'm going to try.

Bang! That must be my neighbor coming home. 8 am, guess a lot of people are coming home. I look through the peep hole and see Kara stumbling. Kara is having trouble opening the door.

I open my door. I grab Kara's keys and open her door. I help Kara up and bring her inside. I put Kara on her couch. She lays down. I grab two aspirin, a glass of water and leave it on the coffee table. Kara is fast asleep. I place the blanket on top of Kara and leave.

I return to my apartment. My phone is lighting up with messages. My friends are wishing me a Happy New Year. My sister left me tons of messages. I read all of them. Hanna wants me to come to our parent's house for dinner.

New Year. New beginnings. I'm turning over a new leaf. It's what Jaxon would want. I text Hanna back telling her I will come over for dinner. I look at the letter again. Re-read it again. I hope you are alive.

I decide to get an early start. My family and Jaxon love my chocolate chip peanut butter cookies. I'm baking these cookies to take to my parents house. Cooking and backing has been my escape from my daily life.

The cookies smell good. I bake a lot of cookies. Jaxon would love this. He'll eat all the cookies, then I would have to bake more. The cookies are finished baking. I take them out of the oven to cool off. I go and take a shower.

I finish taking a shower. I get out of the shower, dry myself off, dry my hair and get dress. I put on my black skinny jeans and my red sweater. Jaxon's favorite color is red. He always told me I look beautiful in red. I leave my hair down. Last thing I put on are my boots. I look at myself in the mirror, perfect.

Time for me to leave. I put on my jacket and scarf. I grab my cookies and my purse. I open the door and leave. I walk down the stairs and out of my building into the winter afternoon. I walk down my neighborhood. It's so peaceful. Not a lot of people are out.

The snow from the once in a life time blizzard is still on the ground. I'm almost at the train station. I see a few stores are open. I wave at them and wish them a Happy New Year.

The cold winter air feels so good as I make my way to the train station. I walk down the steps. I paid and walk through the turnstile and onto the platform. Ten minutes later the train arrives. I board and find a seat. The ride shouldn't take too long.

I'm nervous to see my parents especially my sister, Hanna. We used to be so close. For four years I alienated them from my life. I couldn't let them see me the way I was, broken and lost. Seeing Hanna happy and so much in love with her husband would have made me angry.

I hope they understand why I did what I did. My stop is next. I get up and wait by the door. The train stops.I get off and walk to the exit. I walk through the turnstile and up the steps. I walk to my parent's house looking at all the places I have missed.

There is the bakery me and Hanna visited so many times. There is the pizzeria I love. They make the best pizza and the park me and Hanna played in. So many memories.

The neighborhood I grew up in hasn't changed at all. Me and Hanna rode our bikes up and down the block so many times. My childhood home is in the middle of the block. I see my mother sitting on the stairs.

My mother sees me. I see her. She runs to me and gives me a hug. I hug her back. I begin to cry. My mom begins to cry. Through my tears I tell my mom "I'm sorry." She tells me "It's okay. You are here now." I hold my mom a little while longer.

Me and my mom walk inside the house together. I see my dad with tears in his eyes. I rush to him and give him the biggest hug imaginable. "I'm sorry daddy." My dad wipes the tears from my face. "It's okay baby girl. I'm glad you are here now." Lastly, I give Hanna and Mike a big hug.

We talk and laugh like old times. I apologize to my family. I explain to them the reason why I stayed away. It was hard for me to see everyone happy when I wasn't happy. My parents and sister wished that I reached out to them for help. I wish I reached out but I was so lost in my grief.

I tell them I'm doing better but I still need time. My parents and sister understood. Dinner is ready. My mom made roast chicken with all the fixings. I got my love of cooking from my mom. She's the best.

Wow, that was an incredible meal. The food touched every spot. Now for dessert. My chocolate chip peanut butter cookies. I knew my cookies would be gone fast. Everyone loves them.

I stay at my parent's house for a few more hours. We talk and play games. Around eight I leave. I hug my parents, sister and brother-in law. I promise them to keep in touch. I leave and walk to the train station. 20 minutes later, I get off at my stop.

I'm not going home. I instead go to Central Park, to the spot where me and Jaxon had our first date. That spot is where I feel close to Jaxon. It takes me ten minutes to walk to Central Park and find the spot.

I close my eyes and picture me and Jaxon together. I'm lost in my dream when I heard familiar voice say "You still look beautiful in red." I slowly turn around and see the one person I dreamed of seeing for the last four years. "Jaxon."

I run into Jaxon's arms crying. "I can't believe you're alive." I cry and kiss Jaxon. "I'm home baby." Best New Year's ever.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYONE