A Chance at Fate

My mailman chuckles at me as he hands me my letter. I wait for him every week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Will’s letters usually come on one of those days. Occasionally I’ll get them on Wednesdays.

“Have a good day Wendy.”

“You too Rich.”

I sit on my porch swing and take a sip of my tea before opening the letter.

Dear Wendy,

I’ve been counting down the days until I see you. Ten days and I will be in the same room as you. I’ll get to actually wrap my arms around you. You have no idea how excited I am. Be warned, I may hug you for a really, really long time. I hope you keep an open mind when we finally meet. Until then, I hope I occupy your dreams. See you soon.

Yours,

Will

I sigh and press the letter to my chest. Ten days. It can’t come fast enough. I never thought I would find something like this when I signed up for this pen pal site. I was in a dark place for a while after my husband passed. The years came and went and the feeling of loneliness never lessened.

I was so mad at Taylor for signing me up without my permission but I guess I owe her my gratitude because I’m incredibly happy with how things turned out. I was only looking for friendship but I found so much more.

My heart is going a mile a minute. Will’s plane should have landed a few minutes ago and he should be coming out any minute. I’m curious to see what he looks like but at the same time, it doesn’t matter to me. He asked that I keep an open mind. Maybe he believes he’s ugly. I won’t care. I’m just excited to see him. We’ve been talking a little over a year and I know it might sound foolish but I think I love him. We thought about exchanging pictures but we decided not to. We both decided that if we were going to see each other, then it should be in person. I told him I would be wearing a white shirt and a jean jacket and that I’ll be driving a silver Mazda.

My phone vibrates and I see that it’s Taylor. I don’t even say anything before she starts talking, “did he get there yet? Is he cute? Ugly. Tall or short. I’m dying here.”

I laugh, “he’s not here yet but he’ll be any minute so I have to go.”

“Well, text me the minute he gets there and I want a picture.”

“Bye Taylor.”

“Wendy…”

I glance up and I’m surprised by who it is. It’s not Will. I know it’s not him because I know exactly who this is. But why is my heart still racing? “Billy.”

“Hi.”

“Hi. It’s-It’s good to see you.” I feel guilty saying that out of loyalty to Taylor but it is good to see him. He looks different. He’s taller, bigger and way more handsome. His blonde hair is brushed to the side in a messy wave. He wore his hair short in school but I prefer it like this.

“It’s really good to see you too.”

“Well, I would love to catch up but I’m actually meeting someone.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m who you’re meeting.”

What? No. No he’s not.“What do you mean?”

“I’m Will.”

I only manage to stare at him. Words completely escape me. There must be some mistake. His dark eyes burn into mine. “I don’t understand?”

He rubs the back of his neck and sighs. “I’m the person you’ve been talking to.”

How did this happen? What are the odds that I would be speaking to my best friend’s ex. The ex that tore her heart to shreds by moving without so much as a goodbye. Only a text telling her that he’s ending things with her. The same ex that I’ve vowed to hate for all eternity. He watches me but I notice he doesn’t seem surprised. He asked me to keep an open mind. This is what he meant. Is this some sort of prank? A game? “Did you know it was me?”

“Not at first. Not until you told me where you lived. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure it was you but I figured there would be a big chance it was. I mean, how many more Wendy’s could there be in this small town? In my hometown.”

Dread surrounds me. All this time talking to him. The happiness I felt every time I read his letters. The excitement of finally meeting him. It’s not real.

He must see the sadness all over my face because he finally puts his bags down and comes closer. “This doesn’t change anything for me. It never did.”

“Well it does for me.”

“Why?”

“You know why. How can you ask that after what you did?”

He sighs, “I know. You have no idea how bad I regret it. How I wish I did things differently. I was young and stupid.”

“If that’s true then why have you never tried to talk to her. Maybe see if you could fix things?”

“I tried to talk to her but she wouldn’t hear it.”

“Yeah, well. I don’t blame her. It was a shitty thing to do. You could have come back. Talk to her in person if you really wanted her back.”

He glances down and sighs, “How I ended things was wrong but that is all I regret. I don’t regret breaking up with her. I didn’t want her back.”

Well there is really nothing for us to talk about. No way in hell could I continue anything with him. What kind of person would I be? It’s hard to believe that he’s the man behind the letters. The man I’ve bared my soul to. The man I’ve fallen in love with.

He surprises me when he grabs my hand and an electric current runs up my arm. “The person you have been writing to is real. It’s me. I have been myself with you. I’m begging you not to close this door. Just give me a chance.”

I look into his eyes and I want to give in. I feel a connection and I hate myself for it. When him and Taylor started dating I let my feelings for him go or so I told myself. Maybe she won’t even care. She’s moved on, married with kids. It was a long time ago. Do I really want to let this go. I think about this past year and how happy I’ve been. He has everything to do with it.

I look down at his hand on mine and he squeezes. “Please.”

I sigh and nod. “Where did you plan to stay?”

He visibly relaxes, “the Marriot near your place.”

“I’ll take you there. I need the night to think.”

We pull up in front of the hotel and both of us are quiet. He doesn’t make a move to leave the car yet. There’s been a palpable current the whole car ride. I wonder if he notices.

“Can I see you tomorrow? Maybe talk over dinner?”

He did come all this way and he’s only here for a week. But I can’t be seen with him. What if Taylor sees us? It’s a small town and we have to be careful. “Okay. My place. I can pick you up.”

He smiles and my stomach flips. “I can get there. How about seven?”

“Okay, seven sounds good.”

“I can’t wait.” He leans over and kisses my cheek before leaving the car. He turns and smiles at me before walking inside.

This is not good. Not good at all. It would be easy if there was nothing there but there is. It’s the same feeling I always felt for him before. I think it’s worth exploring. Either way I have to tell Taylor but first, I need to see things through with him and see if it’s even worth telling her. She’s been texting and calling non stop and I told her to give me a few days and I will update her.

My heart flips repeatedly when someone knocks on my door and it flips even faster when I see him. His white button up shirt molds to his large body. His sleeves are rolled up showcasing his blonde hair running up his arms. Wow.

I stand to the side and signal for him to come in. He smiles at me and leans in, kissing me on the cheek then hands me a single rose I didn’t realize he was holding. “You look beautiful.”

I run my hands down my dress. It’s just a black casual summer dress but I’m glad he approves. I had a hard time deciding if I should wear my red hair up or down but I decided to do a casual ponytail. I decided on my bronze eye shadow to showcase my brown eyes. “Thank you.”

I walk to the kitchen and place the rose in cup of water. “You can make yourself at home. Dinner is almost done.”

“Do you need help with anything?”

“No, that’s okay. Thank you though.” I turn and put the plates on the table. He’s leaning against the wall watching me. I continue what I’m doing, hoping that he doesn’t notice how red my face is. I feel his eyes on me the entire time.

We ate dinner in a comfortable silence, occasionally throwing flirty glances at one another. I take the plates and he steps in front of me, grabbing the plates and bringing them to the sink. To my surprise, he starts washing them. I leave the kitchen because I need some space. I feel like I can’t catch my breath. I really don’t know what to make of all of this. I don’t know if I’m happy or disappointed. Happy that Will is actually Billy-a boy I had a crush on in high school. A big crush. A crush that I let go of for a friend. Or am I disappointed that my mystery man is not at all who I expected and that there is no possible way anything could happen between us. I created this fantasy that we would meet, have a greet week together and possibly see if this thing could go somewhere.

I know now it can’t. I could never do that to Taylor. I was with her when she cried for weeks. She was a mess. I know how much she loved him, how hurt she was. I could never do that. If things were different, then I would be very happy with the circumstances.

I hear the sink turn off and then Will sits next to me on the couch. “That was delicious.”

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“I know you may be confused and may not want this but I am so happy to be here. You look more beautiful than I remember.”

“You-you thought I was beautiful before?” I honestly thought that he never thought of me that way. How could he with Taylor on his arm. Everyone in school wanted Taylor. The only reason I was popular is because I was friends with her. I was always envious of her bright blue eyes. Her natural hair is blonde but she has been dying it dark brown for as long as I can remember but either way she’s stunning.

He sighs and rubs his neck, “Wendy, the only reason I started talking to Taylor was because I was asking her about you. I wanted to ask you out but she told me you were interested in someone.”

His admission surprises me. Why would Taylor tell him that? She knew how much I liked him. I was upset when she told me he asked her out but I didn’t want to interfere if she really liked him and he liked her so I told her it was okay. But if what he’s saying is true…if she knew he was going to ask me out and she told him this story about me liking someone when she knew that it was him who I liked…I can’t believe she did that.

“I should have never dated her but she was persistent and since you liked someone I-”

“I liked you. You were that someone.” I blurt the words out without thinking.

His face falls, “what?”

I bite my lip and nod.

He huffs out a breath and curses, “why didn’t you say anything?”

I shrug, “you were with Taylor.”

“Only because I thought you-” He rubs the back of his neck. “Did Taylor know? That you liked me?”

I nod again.

“If I knew you liked me I would have ended things with her immediately. I can’t believe she did that.”

I nod, “yeah. I have some words for her.” Even though it was a long time ago. I still feel betrayed. What if we dated, what if we could have been something but then I would have never married Greg. I could never regret my time with him. He gave me some of the best years of my life. We had an amazing marriage. So maybe things happened the way it was supposed to. How crazy is it that Taylor is the one who insisted I go on this site. I bet she would never expect she would be unintentionally be setting up her best friend and her ex. She is going to shit a brick when she finds out.

“I really want to kiss you.” Will strokes my cheek and his eyes go to my lips. “Could I?”

I can’t speak. This is still wrong isn’t it? Regardless if Taylor lied to both of us all those years ago, she still loved him and he still hurt her. But I can’t help but nod.

He doesn’t hesitate. He leans in and molds his soft lips to mine. I can’t fight the moan that escapes my lips and I feel his smile. He lays us down and whispers sweet things to me as he kisses along my neck. His hands run up my thighs.

He pulls away, staring down at me with so much fierceness in his gaze. “I wasn’t expecting anything tonight. We don’t have to do anything.”

We should stop. We really should but it’s been such a long time since I’ve felt a man’s touch. And his hands feel so good on my skin. I couldn’t bare it if he stopped. “No. I want to.”

I wake to the sound of birds chirping outside of my window. Something sharp pricks me when I stretch. I smile when I see the rose on top of a letter on Will’s pillow. It’s been eight years and he still leaves me letters once a week. Sometimes I will find them in the fridge or in one of the cabinets. In my closet or my drawers.

To my dear wife,

You were sleeping so peaceful so I took the kids out for breakfast. I figured the least I could do is give you some more rest after wearing you out last night. I want you to make yourself pretty because we are doing something pretty special for our anniversary. Taylor is coming over to watch the kids for the night so you don’t need to worry. Eight years with you, my love. I could not be happier. I believe with my whole heart that we were fated to be together and it happened when and exactly how it was supposed to. I know you don’t like when I say that because you feel you’re disrespecting your time with Greg. I wrote him a letter a couple of days ago-promising him that I would take good care of you. Assuring him that his picture still sits by your bedside and that you still think of him everyday. The letter rests against his grave stone. I hope that was okay. I don’t mind sharing you with him. I know you were his first and that’s okay. I’m just glad I have you at all. I love you more than you will ever know and I am so thankful that we became pen pals that fateful day and that you didn’t send me away. Now get up and get ready. I’ll see you soon.

Forever yours,

Will