Never Again

As I handed my granddaughter her cup of tea memories from long ago came flooding back. Memories I thought I had laid to rest when I laid that man to rest.

It was the year 2007. I had just finished high school and gotten my first full time job. I had so much potential. Then I met him. The man, that at such a young and naive age, I though was the man of my dreams. But all he saw was someone he could control. Someone already broken, by family.

We had gotten married and had our daughter when he first hit me. It was a shock, I had never thought a man would hit me. I ran into the bathroom holding our daughter. He did not like that. He broke the door. But still he couldn't get to us.

When he finally left the house, I took off with my daughter. I went to my sister, hoping for help since I knew my mother would not give it, seeing as I was now his problem. But when I told her of what happened she told me to suck it up because I married him. So I went back. If I had not would my life, and my children's and grandchildren's lives, have been better? I don't know, as I sit in my kitchen listening to her tell me what lead to her being here this dreary morning.

Six months following the conversation with my sister he hit me again. We had moved into our first house. He brought all his buddies to move in. He drank, and did drugs all the time. I was taken to work and picked up from work by this point. He would take me to cash my check and take it all. I was stuck without money and a baby to take care of by myself. So I allowed it. When we discovered I was pregnant again he stopped doing drugs. He promised to change.

In 2008 we had a son. We moved away. We were doing so much better, or so I thought. It had been almost two years since he had laid his hands on me. He had a job and was being very attentive and loving to me and the children. But then I came home from work early and found him with another woman. That was when he returned to how he was before.

I stand up, tears starting to leak from my eyes. Both from my granddaughter's story and my memories. I start more water boiling for another round of tea. She is so much like me. So much potential. Such light. My third boys oldest daughter.

In 2010 we had our third child. Another boy. Things had gotten so much worse for our family. He had finally taken his aggression out on our daughter. The state took them. By this point I was broken. I knew that it would end in my life or his.

For three more years I stayed. I drank, I did drugs, we fought hard. I preyed every day for death to come. It did not come. And then in 2014 I discovered that I was pregnant again. So I ran. For years I had run. He went to jail in 2020. I thought I was safe. I thought they would kill him in there. Or he would blame who put him in. But that was not the case.

In those years that I had been running, I had my last child. Another boy. Life was very difficult for me with two children by myself. But we were safe. They would never see what their older siblings did. But I was wrong.

In 2028, when my oldest(of the two with me) turned 15, he got out and came for us. I was caught unaware. My children tried to help. But they weren't prepared for his anger because I had left him. But he wasn't prepared either for who I had become. I yelled to my kids to run. I told them not to worry I would be fine. When they left he became distracted for a second. I grabbed the gun that was hidden behind me and I shot him. I then drug him out to the middle of our property and left him to be ravaged by wild animals.

I then called my children who informed me that they had made it to a friend's house and had called the police. I cleaned up his blood and his my gun. And waited for the police.

When they came and took my statement, they told me they were glad I wasn't dead. They sent a search out for him but never found him. I knew I was free.

In 2031, I met the real man of my dreams. My boys grew up and got married and had children of their own. Life was very good. I never talked about what happened. Maybe if I had I would not be listening to my granddaughter telling me that her husband had been hitting her for the last four years.

I look her in the eyes, as I take a slow sip of tea. The tears on her face, the black eye, the bruises around her neck. Anger floods my body. I tell her it will be better. I tell her to go to the police right now. File a report. She agrees and takes off. I take the tea cups to the sink. I see red. I smash my cup in the sink. As I turn from the sink, I know what I must do.

I walk slowly to my bedroom. Never again will someone hurt me or my family. I get to my closet. I reach up to the locked safe that I have not opened in all these years.

I drive up to my granddaughter's house. I see his car. I turn off the engine. I walk slowly up his driveway. I knock on their door. As he answers I bring my pistol up. "Never again," think as I pull the trigger.