A way to home

' you have to begin from somewhere' a reminder was written on my work desk.

So that's why I agreed to meet mrinali a journalism student and a never met friend . we only knew that we just existed ,through social media, before all that happened. She wants to make a documentary on people affected by recent delhi riots.

It was a day in a month of October a festive season in India . Everyone's calenders were filled with red marks but mine with appointment.The whole society was filled with scents of different cuisines and every house was decorated with marigold flowers but mine was barren with only the photos of my home clinging on one of the blank white wall.

I got ready wearing a white plain kurta and a denim jean with bare wrist as well as the ears. Sipping the juice I looked on the pictures. Those smiles striked my heart. I got into a dilemma 'whether I am ready for this or not, whether I had taken a drastic step or I just stepped forward'

A knock on the door pulled me out of my trance. I approached the door with minor steps, As expected this was mrinali and her friend krishna. She told me that her friend will be there as her assignment partner.

Mrinali was wearing a tight fitting top and jeans with a tiger printed bangle on her left hand and krishna was wearing an embroided balloon top and denim with a bangle type bracelet with hanging chain on her wrist. I welcomed them with a glass of water. As they were gulping I was standing there holding my tray tightly against my chest

**

Mrinali was shuffling through the papers and krishna was setting the video camera to get a perfect shot and frame.

She gave us a rolling sign and my heart started thumping through my chest. Mrinali started questioning 'so miss Shahida tell me about your story, what you experienced during riots' I was trying my best to pretend to be okay but my mind was brainstorming and those past flashes hurdled my words.

'Miss shahida' she called my name to shake me up

She asked again but this time she changed her question ' are you okay? '

I squeezed my hands tight on my lap and my eyes were trying to escape from an eye contact. She gave a sign to turn off the camera .as the camera shuts off she told me to just relax a bit.

**

After I told her everything ,what I had in my mind, they gave me some break and the entire Hall was filled with a hollow silence as if Everyone was in their own turmoil.

Mrinali stood against one of the wall. She was going through the pictures.

'Is that you? ' she broke the silence and continued ' that pink frok and two braids' I just nodded.

She sighed and approached me.

'Look I know it's difficult for now, but you have to begin from somewhere. I also had gone through what you are facing right now. ' she continue after a deep halt 'I also lost my loved one's in a terrorist attacks, those voices still rings in my ears and I always try to smile whenever those happy faces comes in my mind' and last but not the least 'I also choose this assignment to overcome my past' she smiled, her eyes reflecting her something similar.

**

'Are you ready? ' she asked me before rolling the camera.

'Yes' I encouraged myself

'Sure? ' she double checked.

I nodded but this time with a thin smile which made her sure to begin.

Seeing her, I decided to give myself at least a try.

She continued fom where we left. She again asked me about my story and my experience.

'that day I was very happy as I finally get to meet my family, away from long time project, nine to five job schedule.' I began.

'While I was packing the scent of maa's special biryani, Pinky's smile as she sees her new sharara and kurta which I packed specially for her,ashfaaq's loud shouting that echoes in our Street while he play with his friends, my father cold but caring stare ' I stuttered .'These all things surrounded my mind which makes me even more happy and excited. Which made me sleepless ' all those images were flashing in my mind but I tried to smile as she told me to do.

'As the clock ticked a news were spread all over the news channel abouts riots in shiv vihar, my home. I rushed as soon as possible but the police stopped everyone blocking every route that entered in shiv vihar. After some past days I finally get to see them in a hospital. In front of me they were all injured brutally, those smiley lips seems lifeless' my voice became heavy just by the thought of it . Mrinali reached my hands under the frame .

'Holding their cold hands I cried for a long time. my family was destroyed and my home was in ashes . The blood was all over the street .' As the sentence ended,a tear started rolling down my cheek,seeing thisKrishna gave me a sign to stop but there were a lot of thing that my heart had within me .'we faced all this because we are Muslims 'she kept her camera on ' I lost my home and family because I am a muslim ? '

After a halt I continued 'All communities that faces riots goes through these same thoughts .those people does not know any religion ,they only know about spreading hatred.

**

Some days past by we decided to met again but this time as friends .I decorated my house Somewhat .on table I placed a water bowl with floating candles swimming all over the bowl ,a small rangoli at my home entrance.krishna offered herself for helping me making food but instead we all made it together .the scent of meals that we made filled the apartment. The sweet fragrance of Jalebi, the mild odour of roti as it swelled up telling about it's crispness and sizzling sound of tadka . These might sounds less in a festive season for guest but for us, it's our party as they were happy to complete the interview,all ended up well for them and started well for me. With our hungry stomach we attacked on our food on the dinner table . Krishna and mrinali were smiling while looking at the interview in between meal. I silently took a picture of them . In this captured moment,I found a family to smile for . This picture will remind me that there is a home for me in everyone who loves me.

But I didn't forget my forever one, they will always remains on those pictures keep smiling at me and I will try my best to smile back to them.