The girl in the red hat

Adam had always been the rational type. He loved numbers and statistics. He didn’t believe in destiny, until that fateful rainy Monday morning, when he was stuck in a queue at his favourite coffee shop. He didn’t like when things didn’t go as planned and this waiting was delaying his daily schedule. He tapped his foot impatiently, checking his watch every few seconds, while the line seemed to move at a snail’s pace. When it was finally his turn to order, someone bumped into him, and he felt a scalding heat on his chest.

 “What the fuck”, he exclaimed and looked down at his white shirt now stained with coffee.

“I am sooo sorry,” a female voice said anxiously. He looked up to tell her off but was brought up short when he was faced with two honey brown eyes framed by ebony curls under a burgundy hat.

The woman’s face was flushed as she hurriedly grabbed some napkins from the counter and started dabbing at his wet clothes. “I’m so clumsy. Let me make it up to you.” She snatched another napkin from the counter and hastily scribbled a phone number on it. “Call me and I will reimburse you for the dry cleaning.” Before he could even say a word, she turned and rushed out of the café, leaving him flummoxed until her red hat had disappeared in the crowd outside. He pocketed the napkin and thought that this day could not have started any worse.

His colleagues eyed him with mild astonishment when he entered the office in his stained shirt. He was always the meticulous one, never a hair out of place. He quickly moved to his office, closing the door behind him before anyone else could see his unprofessional attire. Luckily, he always kept spare shirts in the little closet for those exact occasions.

He was just buttoning up his clean shirt when someone knocked on his door and his boss strode in, talking to someone behind him. His boss stopped short when he saw Adam half-dressed, and Adam started blushing. Could this day get any worse?

“What’s going on here?” his boss asked in surprise.

“I’m afraid that’s my fault.”

To Adams’s chagrin, a figure in a very noticeable red hat stepped around his boss looking sheepishly at him. His boss gave them both confused looks.

“We bumped into each other this morning at the coffee shop and in my clumsiness, I spilt my coffee all over your fine colleague here.” She didn’t sound embarrassed. “What a coincidence, that we should meet again so soon”, she continued smiling brightly at Adam. She moved further into the room and picked up his discarded shirt. “I’ll just take that and bring it to the dry cleaner. It will be as good as new in no time.”

“Ahm… Who are you?”

His boss quickly introduced them: “Adam West, this is Samantha Bryan from Travel Weekly. Miss Bryne, this is Adam West our data analyst.”

Now it all made sense to Adam. He remembered the planned meeting with a reporter from the travel magazine. But the meeting hadn’t been scheduled until next week. He was sure of that. It was in his calendar.

“I know I’m a bit early,” Samantha said quickly reading his mind. “But I had some schedule changes and Mr. Harris here has been kind enough to accommodate me earlier. I hope that is not a problem?”

Adam had just finished buttoning his shirt and was now looking at his boss, who just beamed at him expectantly. He gave a resigned sigh.

“Of course, it’s fine,” he said, turning to Samantha, who was looking around his office with open curiosity.

“Brilliant,” she said giving him another one of her bright, charismatic smiles.

Adam gestured to the chair in front of his desk. “Please, have a seat.” He was acutely aware that his office was not as tidy as it would have been if she hadn’t just shown up like this.

“Nice office you have,” she said. “Very… tidy.” It didn’t sound like a compliment.

He moved to his chair on the opposite side of the desk. “How can I help you, Miss Bryne.”

“Call me Sam, please,” she said quickly.

He pursed his lips. He always got annoyed when people offered their first name – and in this case even a nickname - because he always felt obliged to offer the same, although he preferred the formal address in a professional setting.

“But you can also call me Miss Bryne if that’s more comfortable for you.”

How did she always know exactly what he was thinking?

“Thank you,” he said.

“Great. Then let’s get to business. You’re a busy man I imagine, and I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”

He nodded as he watched her take out a colourful notebook and matching pen. Everything with her was coordinated, he realized, from her red hat to her floral dress, her red shoes to her fitting handbag.

“So, what can you tell me about your customers?” she asked, poising her pen over the notebook to take notes.

He started talking about his research and findings.

“That is all quite interesting,” she said after he had shown her another graph of different demographics and their preferred times of travelling.

“I know it’s a bit boring,” he said, feeling disappointed that he had scared her off with his long rumble.

“Not at all,” she said. “It’s just a lot of facts.”

He frowned at her. “That’s what I do.”

“I know but travelling is more than just numbers on a page. People who travel want to experience something. It’s all about telling a story. It’s good to know what they want, but that’s not what sells to the clients.”

“I’m just a data analyst,” he said. “I don’t sell holidays. I just tell others what the customers want.”

She nodded. “And what do your customers want?” His eyes seemed to bore into him, seeing right through him.

“That depends on their age, their education, their…”

“Facts again,” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “People want to live,” she said. “They want to feel, experience new cultures, get out of their comfort zone.”

“Research has shown that…” he tried again, clicking through his presentation to the corresponding page.

“When was the last time you travelled?” she asked him, catching him off guard.

“Last year to visit my family in California.”

“That’s not a holiday,” she said. “That’s a family visit.”

“It’s a popular vacation destination,” he countered.

“I know, but did you actually see something, while you were there?”

He fell silent. He had stayed five days at his family’s vineyard in the countryside, enjoying the wine and the good weather.

“When was your last holiday?” he asked her instead.

“Last month. I spend three weeks in Laos visiting villages, helping them build new schools.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, but she just chuckled at his silence. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just feel that people who don’t travel haven’t lived.”

“I have travelled,” he said defensively. He just wasn’t a big fan of the unknown. Travelling always made him a bit unsettled. It seemed ironic that he was working for a travel agency, but his job didn’t involve going to remote places. He felt most comfortable behind his desk. And what was wrong with that? He could tell that she was a free spirit, someone who could not stand still for long and always had to go somewhere. Why that made him disappointed, he didn’t know.

“I think I have enough material for my article.” She started to gather her things extending her hand to him.

A little taken aback he stood as well, shaking her hand, which was soft, but also slightly callused, which, for some reason. surprised him.

“It was nice meeting you, Mr. West.”

“Same,” he said, feeling reluctant to let her leave. For a moment they stood, their hands still in a handshake, none of them releasing the contact. There was something magnetic about her, something that drew him to her.

She was the first to break the connection.

“Tell you what,” she said. “There is this mixer this evening at the Ritz Carlton. Why don’t you swing by and have a drink and maybe we can talk a bit more about your customers.” She produced a business card and held it out to him. Was she asking him out? Or was it only a professional invite? He didn’t know. And he hated not knowing. She just gave him a secretive smile and left his office, her floral scent still hanging in the air long after she had gone.

That evening he was standing in front of the brightly lit building of the Ritz Carlton, pondering if he should go inside or not. He usually tried to avoid social gatherings, where people made unnecessary small talk and pretended to care about things, they didn’t actually care about. But Samantha Bryne had taken up space in his head that was normally reserved for his work.

“Are you going to stay out here forever or join me inside?” He turned around and stared at Samantha, who had just strolled up to him. She was wearing a burgundy dress that complimented her auburn hair accessorized with her usual red hat. She looked stunning.

At his silence, she chuckled and hooked her arm around his. “Come on. It’s getting chilly outside.”

They moved inside to the conference room which was already filled with the buzz of conversation and the drunken laughter of people enjoying complimentary drinks. 

She dragged him directly to the bar, whispering “Relax,”, while they navigated the lively crowd. “They’re not going to bite you.” He found it disconcerting that she could read him like an open book.

“Are you always this stiff?” she asked, looking him up and down curiously, once they had their drinks – a dry martini for him and a colourful cocktail for her that smelled of exotic fruits.

“I just don’t like crowds.”

She nodded knowingly. They stayed silent for a while, but it was not an uncomfortable silence he normally shared with others.

“Shouldn’t you be talking to those people?” he asked.

“Probably,” she answered nonchalantly. “But I like it here.” Once more he wasn’t sure if she was flirting with him or just being friendly. At his perplexed look, she started laughing, a sweet sound that made him feel warm inside.

“Can I be honest with you?”

He nodded.

“I like you. I can’t explain it, but I find you very intriguing.”

He swallowed, his heart beating fast. “I find you intriguing, too.”

“Great, “ she said. “Then we have something in common at last.”

They ended up talking the whole night, about everything. He told her things about himself he normally did not disclose to other people. But he found it easy to talk to her. The alcohol also did its part to make him feel looser. Neither of them realized that the room had emptied and only stopped when they were ushered out by the hotel staff. Once outside he hailed a cab although he didn’t want this evening to end.

“Can I text you sometime?” he asked when she was about to leave.

“I would love that.” He felt more elated than he had in a long time as he watched the taxi rush off into the night.

Eight Month later

“I love autumn in the city.”

“You’re the only one being happy at the moment when everyone else is concerned about Covid.” Adam tried to look at Samantha, but his glasses were fogged up from wearing his mask.

“I refuse to let this virus ruin my enjoyment of the seasons,” she said, taking his hands, and lacing her fingers through his. He sometimes still couldn’t believe that they were dating. After their evening at the Ritz Carlton, they had started texting and eventually had met for coffee then lunch and then dinners. She was so different from him, and it still amazed him that she wanted to spend time with him. He loved listening to all her stories about her travelling and the adventures she had as a travel journalist.

Covid had of course put a stop to her explorations since the whole world was shut down and people were barely allowed to leave their homes. For him, this was great because it meant he could spend more time with Samantha here in the city. And since large gatherings were not allowed, they mostly spend time together going on walks and talking. He was mesmerized by her confident personality, her caring nature, and her positivity. He wasn’t sure what she saw in him, but she seemed to enjoy the time they spent together as much as he did.

“I can’t wait until we can travel again, “ she said next, which made him feel uneasy. He knew travelling was her passion, but he had become so used to her being around that he couldn’t imagine how things would be once the world opened up again. He knew the moment the lockdown was lifted she would be off somewhere in search of a new story and a new adventure. And he was afraid that along the way she would forget about him and his boring life here.

Seven Months later

03.6.21 - 17:00 ‘Sry, can’t make it tonight. Jet lag. C u 2morrow, Sam’

15.6.21 – 19:00 ‘Hey Babe, afraid will be late. Just talking to these guys at the conference. They want me to go to Peru to cover their trip to Machu Picchu! Amazing! Talk 2 u later. Sam’

21.6.21 – 16:00 ‘Just boarded the plane, after fucking 2 hrs delay!! Won’t make our reservation tonight. Will make it up to you, promise! Xx Sam’

04.07,21 – 10:00 ‘Off to Paris! Can’t wait to see my favourite city again. Wish you would come with me. C u when I’m back in a week!’

He heard the door open and close. A moment later the familiar figure appeared in the kitchen complete with her red hat. She looked exhausted. He didn’t even remember where she had been.

“Hey, Babe,” she said, smiling at him groggily, kissing him on the cheek. “I’m soo tired. The seats were tiny, and the flight attendant was so rude. Not sure I’m ever going to fly with them ever again. Can you imagine being cooped up in these seats for 10 hours?”

He couldn’t. He didn’t like flying.

She kept talking about her trip to another exotic location he had never heard about. There were times when he had been hanging onto her every word, admiring her adventurous spirit. But not today. He stayed quiet and it took her a few moments to realize his sombre mood. She sat down opposite him and looked at him questioningly.

“You missed my parents.”

Realization dawned on her face, and she ran a hand through her curly hair. “Shit. I am so sorry. I completely forgot.”

He just nodded. It had been like this for the last months, her being away constantly and him being alone at home, wondering if she was ok and if she was thinking about him at all.

“We need to talk,” he said quietly. She looked at him knowingly, as if she had been dreading this conversation for a while now.

“What are we doing?” he asked, after taking a deep breath. “You are never around. And even if you are, your mind is somewhere else. On your next trip, your next adventure, but rarely with me.”

“That’s not true,” she whispered.

“You’ll never be content,” he said, standing up, not able to sit down any longer. He started pacing. Now that he had started, he couldn’t stop himself from spilling all his feelings.

“I love your excitement for your job and your passion, but I don’t feel like there is any space left for me or this relationship in your life at the moment.”

“That’s not fair,” she said. “You knew from the start that we were very different people. You are right, I can never be content staying in one place or working a 9 to 5 week, like you. But that doesn’t mean we cannot make this work. You are my anchor, the opposite that grounds me. I know my life can be crazy, but that’s why I like to come home to you, where I can relax and switch off for a while.”

“But that’s just it,” he said. “It’s like you are living two separate lives. One where I’m not part of and one where I’m the only part.” He crouched down in front of her, taking her hands into his.

“I don’t think this – us – is going to work.” He brushed away the tear running down her cheek with his thumb. “We tried and I wouldn’t miss a moment of being with you. But we want different things in life.” She was crying now, and he felt tears running down his face as well. Before they knew it, they were hugging and holding onto each other, because they both knew that this was the end. He loved her and would probably always do. She had opened his eyes to new opportunities and made him come out of his shell. But she was a free spirit and he realized that he was only holding her back from her passion and he had to let her go.

“I’m going to miss you,” she whispered, when both their tears had dried.

“I will miss you, too,” he said back.

Leaving someone is always hard, but sometimes it’s the best for both people.