But first, coffee

Near the city centre, yet a little removed from its more corporate, skyscraper-polluted parts, among quiet pre-war villas, sits comfortably a hip vegan café. At 9:30 AM, it’s swarmed with a business-casual crowd about to clock in at the surrounding family-run tech, finance, or law firms. At the counter, a pierced-through, college-aged barista is collecting an order for two flat whites on oat milk from a handsome brunet man in his early-thirties. He’s in a well-tailored suit, and pays with his new iPhone. He smiles politely at the barista and checks his expensive time on his Apple watch. He seems perfectly content until a short, curly-haired blond guy in a black turtleneck taps his shoulder while sipping on an iced latte through a metal straw.

“Hey Sebastian!” says the blond and they share an icy handshake.

“Lipsky…” says Sebastian, raising an eyebrow.

“I didn’t expect you here.”

“Really? Well, I still work five minutes away.”

“Yeah, but there’s a Starbucks right across the street and I remember you used to go there.”

Sebastian gives a reluctant half-smile at this statement. Of course. He used to go there, years ago, when Lipsky interned with him at the firm and was in an ambiguous sexual relationship with Sebastian’s now fiancée, Julia. She and Lipsky wore matching turtlenecks (like the one he had on today) and were inseparable apart from the moments when she confessed the truth about their relationship to Sebastian. She told him Lipsky begged her to ask her father to extend his contract, and recounted all the times he cheated on her. These days she used to chain-smoke and wore black lace as if already mourning her affair with Lipsky. A couple times, she stared at the ceiling trying to hold her tears, but failed. In such moments she had to accept a tissue from Sebastian, and with it, the fact that she was falling deeply in love with everything in him that was different from Lipsky.

“The coffee’s better here,” says Sebastian curtly and tries to spot his order among the many oat milk coffees being prepared at the same time by the baristas.

“It is! And the energy flow is perfect.”

“Is it?”

“And we’re organizing a poetry slam here next Thursday. You must tell Julia.”

“Oh, we have plans,” he lies and walks up to the counter because his order is ready. The paper cups are filled to the brim and he must be very careful not to spill their contents on Julia’s ex, pretending it was an accident, as he walks to a small side table with all the lids, tissues and other coffee accessories.

Recently, she met Lipsky somewhere and decided, god knows why, to forgive him. Since then Lipsky invites them to various artistic events, and Sebastian finds himself doing mental gymnastics in search for excuses not to attend, which leaves him exhausted and somewhat disappointed in his fiancées goodness.

“That’s a pity,” says Lipsky.

“Sorry, I’m in a rush.”

“Oh, have a good day, then.”

As he walks to the office, Sebastian’s watch vibrates with a notification that his pulse is getting too high, which annoys him even more. He relaxes a little bit only when he sees a small brunette in red stilettos with a large tote bag from Louvre on her shoulder. She’s in front of an elegant tenement house, tapping in the code at the door. When she opens it Sebastian runs up to her, somehow not spilling the coffees, and holds the door behind her, which makes her turn. Immediately, she throws her arms around his neck.

“Oh, honey!” she says and he presses his lips against hers. When they pull away from each other, he hands her one of the coffees and she smiles as if the drink were spiked with a love potion.

They walk up the stairs holding hands, and she asks him about his morning, the traffic, and what point he reached in the novel she gave him recently. He follows her into her office. On her desk there’s a bouquet of flowers he brought her yesterday because it was rainy and he wanted to cheer her up. She graduated college last year and is now an intern at the firm, but that’s a very transitory position. It’s her family’s business, and one day it will be divided among herself, her brother and cousin.

He leans on her desk and watches her type in her computer password with her neat, unmanicured hands, bare, apart from her tasteful diamond engagement ring. He takes a sip of his coffee, perfectly warm. When she looks up at him, they share a silent smile. He’s about to ask her about her tasks for the day, to anticipate when she’ll be home and in what state, but her gaze drifts away for a second and her face becomes less radiant. Something distracts her and Sebastian has a suspicion what. He turns and sees a head peering from behind the doorframe. When their eyes meet the rest of the body appears, and Sebastian’s new Intern, Eddy, uncertainly enters the room. Sebastian straightens with a raised eyebrow, pretending to be amused by Eddy’s shyness. He glances at his watch.

“I’m sorry, I’m ten minutes late,” says Eddy with a weird grimace as if trying to suppress a smile or laugh. Julia can’t control her expressions either, only she isn’t even trying. But the effect is generally adorable. Right now, her gaze is jumping from one man to the other, her brows are slightly knit and one of the corners of her lips is lifted, as if in amused puzzlement. She’s now turned in Eddy’s direction, though, as if about to ask him something the moment Sebastian leaves. What can Eddy have to say? No doubt something dumb that will make her giggle like a highschooler. Not even laugh, genuinely, but also intelligently like she does with Sebastian, but chortle, mortified at her own reaction.

Sebastian wishes Eddy were twenty minutes late so that he would forget what he was so happy about and wouldn’t distract everybody like he did now.

“You haven’t sent me the report I asked you about yesterday,” Sebastian says, crossing his arms.

“I’ll send it right now, sir,” replies his Intern, now fully serious, and maybe a little scared.  

Sebastian supresses a sigh. What a snowflake – he thinks. He looks at Julia again, she’s resting her chin in her palm and looking at him with a searching expression.

***

Sebastian receives the report in twenty minutes and in ten calls Eddy to his office to tell him what he thinks. He gives himself five minutes to explain to his Intern what he, at his age, would be told in a couple words. Namely, “This is bullshit. Change everything.”

But Sebastian knows kids nowadays don’t take such things very well. That’s why he’ll try being gentle, not exactly for Eddy’s sake, but more so Julia’s, who keeps insisting Eddy is still learning, and shouldn’t be expected to be perfect. Only that was the expectation set for Sebastian when he was learning, and he turned out fine… but this doesn’t tend to convince her.

Eddy takes the news pretty well, though. He seems just a little annoyed. Sebastian is glad, because he has a bunch of meetings with clients stacked right on top of each other in his calendar after this, and he doesn’t need the thought of having hurt some 26-year-old’s feelings at the back of his mind all this time.

***

When it’s time for lunchbreak, Sebastian stops by Julia and Eddy’s office. He saw Eddy leave earlier but did not say anything. He’s hoping for an hour without getting bothered by him.

He knocks gently on the door but when there’s no answer for a couple seconds he enters. Julia is alone. She’s resting on her desk, her head on her hands. Sebastian doesn’t go any further. The nap is probably planned. Undoubtedly she has an alarm set. It was a piece of advice he gave her himself. And yet, he wishes that without waking her up, he could transport her onto the nearest sofa and then onto his lap. But that is impossible and selfish. He looks at her for a couple more seconds, and then quietly backs out of the room.

Walking back to his office, he still has her before his eyes, only this time she’s asleep in bed, at five AM when he goes running. She’s on her stomach with one long, naked leg out. Her hair smells like vanilla, and from time to time she might snore quietly. When the mattress moves as he gets up, she might wake up for a moment, and then he’ll kiss her. He must use every ounce of his willpower to unstick himself from her.

This is the first time he’s experiencing such a longing to be with someone, though. In all his previous relationships, he was guilty of spending too much time at work, forgetting to text, and apologizing by making girls nice dinners. But the worst part was that he wasn’t actually sorry about it, while knowing that he should be.

Julia was the first woman who actually perplexed him, with her antique yet attractive clothes, the classic novels she never read in translation, and her idea of what a good time was. He chased after her into obscure cafés available only to people who were artistic enough. He looked for her in art galleries where he scouted his memory trying to fish out crumbs of art history facts he crammed in high school. He changed his route to work so that it aligned with hers allowing her to bump into him, all smiles, and then pout a little when she had to get off the bus.

He did all this completely spontaneously, drawn to her like a magnet, though simultaneously aware that a serious relationship he was looking for was likely out of reach for them. At the beginning he half-expected he’d bore her and she’d go back to Lipsky, or give a classmate or some other eccentric a chance, but she surprised him when she said she loved him for the first time while making love. They were seeing each other for just over a month, and the declaration was an accident, but they embraced it. She had unwavering faith that they would work out, and brushed off all the obstacles Sebastian couldn’t stop thinking about. He postponed telling his family about her, knowing his mother would see his decision to pursue his boss’s daughter as yet another sign that he was becoming a materialist and she failed at raising him. And he was afraid that she was partially right, because, in fear of being perceived differently at work, he also asked Julia to keep them a secret from her family. At the beginning she tried to understand, but a couple months in she grew annoyed, interpreting his carefulness as doubt regarding their relationship as a whole.

At one point, drunk, she told them. It took a number of family dinners, thoughtful Christmas gifts, and important clients praising Sebastian to appease everybody. But over time, the idea grew on them and now Sebastian had a partner promotion proposition on the table, and was planning his wedding.

***

           Back in his office, Sebastian takes out his box-diet lunch from a paper bag in which it got delivered to his door in the morning. He’s about to rip off the clear foil from the top of the packaging when he hears the Interns’ office door open.

           “Hello!” cries Eddy, and Sebastian knows Julia must jump up with a gasp.

           “Gosh,” she says.

           “Were you asleep?”

           “I was supposed to, for three minutes and twenty-nine seconds more.”

           Sebastian is a little surprised he can hear them so well. Even if the walls are thin and Eddy left the door open (it would be weird if he didn’t, as if he had something to hide). He wonders whether he should make his presence next door known, but this is the first time he’s eavesdropping on their conversation and he finds himself unable to stop.

           “Sorry. He doesn’t give you a break, does he?”

           Julia is silent for a moment.

“That is a very inappropriate question,” she says, in a voice not serious enough for Sebastian’s liking, almost bemused, and then adds, “just had a rough night.”

“Oh, again?”

Again? She never told Sebastian she had trouble sleeping, why on earth should Eddy know this?

“I mean, there’s a lot going on.”

“Like what?” Eddy stops in the middle of the last word, “I mean, maybe you should see a doctor about this. Or I could get you some of my prescription.”

She’s silent again, as if considering the offer, “no, I’ll be fine.”

There’s a short pause and then Eddy says, “want some?”

“Nah, I’m trying to quit. I have some nicotine lozenges if you want, though.”

Sebastian knows Eddy vapes at work, and he usually just ignores it because he thinks smoking breaks are less productive than having a puff every now and then. But now he’ll consider telling Eddy off about it.

“Damn, I wish I had your perseverance,” says Eddy.

“I mean, if I want children one day…”

“God, you’re so adult!”

“We both are,” she laughs.

“No, but you’re like an embodiment of our parents’ idea of adulthood. I mean, last week I saw you googling construction plots in the suburbs! You’re thinking of having children, and… you’re getting married.”

“Oh yeah, I was about to ask you, how did that date I set you up on go?”

There’s a couple seconds of silence again.

“Okay, never mind,” Julia laughs.

Eddy sighs loudly, “I just don’t see myself getting married yet.”

“I never assumed you do.”

“Thanks.”

She laughs prettily at that, “but when I find the right girl for you, this will change.”

“Sounds like a threat.”

“Cause it is.”

Eddy sighs again and Sebastian wonders whether he sighs over work reports too, or if it’s a reaction to Julia specifically.

“I mean,” he says, with odd seriousness, “the whole idea is just so old-fashioned and constraining.”

“I’m not constrained.”

There’s a strange silence, and then she bursts out, “What? I mean, I’m obviously very much in love and happier than ever.”

She says this in a voice that is only half-serious. Which is natural, talking with immature Eddy, but even knowing this, Sebastian still finds the declaration a little underwhelming.

“No, of course you are,” says Eddy, “hey, should we grab a sandwich?”

“Sure.”

***

           An hour later the conversation is still on Sebastian’s mind and he can’t focus on work. He’s about to start a big client meeting and Eddy is five minutes late. He enters a little red, carrying an iced latte and throws a paper sandwich bag in the trashcan by the door. It seems he extended his lunchbreak. Sebastian stops him before he takes a seat and asks him to make coffee for everybody.

***

           The meeting goes well, and Sebastian has a ten minute break before the next one. He opens up his laptop, he and Julia grinning at him with the Colloseum in the background on the wallpaper. Before he opens the necessary documents, there’s a knock on the door and Julia enters with her brows knit and crosses her arms.

           “Oh, hello dear, how can I help you?” says Sebastian, although deep down he wants to ask her why the hell she spent over an hour having a sandwich with Eddy.

           “Did you tell Eddy to make coffee for everyone?”

           “What?” Sebastian forgot about it already, “I might have. Why?”

           “I’m the one asking why.”

           “Because they wanted coffee, and there was nobody else around to make it. I don’t understand why you’re asking about it.”

           “What is there not to understand, Sebastian? Why are you bullying him?”

           “What? How is asking someone to make coffee bullying?”

           “It’s not a part of his responsibilities, and it’s not just the coffee. When he writes reports for you everything is always wrong…”

           “Excuse me,” Sebastian interrupts her, “submitting quality work is his responsibility, and I don’t understand why you’re involved in this, Julia. Please tell him that if he’s unhappy with anything he should address this with me instead of using you as the mediator.”

           “He doesn’t know I’m doing this. I know you don’t like him but this shouldn’t affect work.”

           “And what am I supposed to say about the fact that he obviously likes you?”

           “And on about this again! I told you it’s not true and even if it were, who cares?”

           “I care! Because he’s openly flirting with you and you’re not doing anything about it!” he cries.

           “That’s insane,” she says taking a deep breath, “I’m worried about you, you know?”

           “I think you should worry about yourself.”

           “What? No, you’re actually changing, Sebastian. I mean, you say it’s just coffee but that’s the kind of shit that happened back in your day when nobody respected Interns and they had to put up with it or lose their jobs. And that was messed up. He’s here to learn. I always thought you’d be a different boss.”

           “Just cause nobody would dare ask you to make coffee doesn’t mean it’s harassment.”

           Julia’s eyes widen when he says this and he immediately realizes his mistake.

           “God, honey, I didn’t mean that,” he cries and gets up to grab her hand as she turns to leave, but she shakes it off and walks out. He follows her, but then Eddy comes out of the office next door and tells him everyone is waiting for him to start the next meeting.