Aaron's Brithday

 The sign read “Happy Birthday, Aaron!” The smell of cake and wine and innumerous cocktails mingled in the air with excited chatter, live music and the sounds of laughter. The hundred or so invitees of Aaron's party milled about, talking, dancing and helping themselves to the open bar while he sat contemplating the banner that celebrated the start of his existence twenty-five years ago today. He idly stirred his drink with the little umbrella that stuck out from the top of his glass while his mind worked on what those twenty-five years had amounted to; the start to a promising career, his first year of payments made on his very own house, a beautiful wife, a newborn child and friends enough for a truly prolific birthday bash. In today's economy, to have so much, many considered him to be the luckiest man in the world.

“Why so glum birthday boy?” His wife's twin sister, Lily interrupted his train of thought. Her voice cut through the din of what was just now beginning to become mildly drunken revelry.

A smile lighted on Aaron's lips when he saw her. A drink in her hand and her bright blonde hair mussed from time spent on the dance floor. To look at her she was not any different from her sister, Hannah. Both had golden hair cut just past the shoulders, deep blue eyes gently set on round cheekbones and athletic figures that filled out the cocktail dresses both wore tonight. Truthfully, if they stood next to one another they could be difficult to tell apart. But if you were to talk to them, you'd quickly find they were as different as night and day. Where Lily was the joyous sun with an easy smile and seemingly endless energy, Hannah was the stoic moon with a beautiful mind for logic, rhetoric and numbers.

“It's nothing. Just thinking about an issue we're having at work.” He said quickly.

Lily made a show of rolling her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest and put on a disapproving frown. “Aaron Thompson,” she started sternly. “This is a party, not a staff meeting! Forget about work and try to have a bit of fun for a change.” Her frown evaporated leaving a smile to match his.

Aaron chuckled. “I'll try”

“See that you do! Sometimes, I swear, you're just as bad as Hannah. Now for a start you could get up and dance.”

“No no, I don't—” he started.

“Oh yes you do! A birthday party just isn't a birthday party if the birthday boy is the only one not dancing. And you know what they say: 'All work no play...'” She trailed off and reached out her hand.

She was right of course so he let her pull him to his feet and toward the shifting throng of bodies on the dance floor. Lily tried to pull him toward the center of the dancing but Aaron stopped short feeling a worry in his gut. He was never much of a dancer and was nervous for Lily to see his pitiful oafishness. Lily felt his resistance, shrugged and left him at the outside of the circle to dance her way into the center.

Aaron bounced awkwardly to the beat, trying to feed off of the energy of the other dancers but couldn't shake the feeling of disconnection with the people around him. He glanced around hoping everyone was too involved with their drinking to notice him making a fool of himself. Most everyone was. Everyone except Hannah. She was looking at him and smiling. Something about her eyes unnerved him. Even though the smile on her lips said she was glad he was having a good time, her eyes held his with a severity. She knew.

He pretended not to notice. He smiled back before dancing further into the crowd, bumping others' shoulders and stepping on toes in his clumsy haste to escape his wife's gaze. He tripped over another dancer's foot and fell, stumbling forward and was caught by a pair of smooth strong arms before nearly burying his face into Lily's breasts. She laughed as he steadied himself.

“Glad you could make it!” She shouted over the music. “Although, you're entrance could use some work.” Aaron smiled dumbly as she laughed again.

They continued dancing and Aaron's worry dissipated. His dancing was still awkward and clumsy but here in the center, pressed tight by the crowd it didn't seem to matter. They danced until sweat was beading down Aarons face and tracing ticklish lines down his back. All the while Lily was so close he could feel the heat from her body. She looked at him with a heat in her eyes that filled his stomach with butterflies.

Suddenly, Aaron was aware of the cold metal of his wedding ring around his finger and a panic rose in his stomach. Lily's smile turned to concern as Aaron pushed his way out of the crowd. He looked to the table where he had sat before. He saw Hannah there with her phone in her hand and a half empty long island on the table next to her. His heart was pounding, his breath coming and shallow gasps. A few work friends saw him and tried to wave him over, undoubtedly to compare numbers for the upcoming end of quarter. A hot tightness seized his neck and crept up the back of his skull. There had to be somewhere he could get away.

He saw the bathroom door swing open as an old friend from college stumbled out. He made for the door, trying his best to not to run across the room. He brushed past his drunken friend and dimly heard his bewildered “Woah man!” before he slammed the door on the nearest empty stall.

He sat there staring at the ground beyond his feet and breathing hard. He felt strangled, claustrophobic. He couldn't breathe. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He focused on his breathing. He couldn't focus on anything else. He tried to breathe deeply. In. And out. But it came as sharp gasps in and shuddering exhales. He was crying. He felt tears hitting the tops of his bare thighs. He didn't remember pulling down his pants before sitting on the toilet. His hands tightened over and over into fists, clenching his hair then releasing it. His head dropped to his chest. He smelled Lily's perfume. He thought of her body pressed close to his when they danced. He shuddered as he breathed out and clenched his fists in his hair. He had to focus on his breathing. He couldn't think. He loved his wife. He couldn't stop shaking. In. And out. He thought of Hannah's face. The woman that he loved. Her bright warm smile. He thought of Lily's dress, bright blue just like her eyes. No. In. And out. He thought of holding Hannah the night they conceived their son. The feeling of her naked body pressed against his. In. And out. Her voice became Lily's, calling his name. In. Out. Her nails scratching red lines across his bare back. In. Out. He couldn't think. In. Out. Breathe. In and out. Hannah was the woman that he loved. In and out. She was his wife. Breathe. The mother of his child.

His breath started coming easier. his heart began to slow down. He sat up and looked around. How long had he been there? He didn't hear music outside. He wiped his cheeks with a length of toilet paper and pulled up his pants. He went out and looked in the mirror. He looked like shit. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, his hair was standing on end and he shirt was wet with his tears.

He straightened his shirt and tightened his tie. Then tried his best to flatten his hair again. Maybe his tears stained shirt would just look like sweat from dancing. Looking as good as he was going to, he pushed open the door into the main room.

Everyone was gone. The guests had left and all that remained was spilled drinks, scattered balloons and a few people collapsed over tables that had misjudged their limits. All that and Hannah. She sat where she had when he had gone into the bathroom. Her perfectly pinned back hair untouched by the festivities of the evening and her phone still in her hand. She looked up when Aaron started toward her and her eyes were icy cold.

“And where have you been?” She asked in a tone that was too neutral.

“I—” Aaron started, grasping for any explanation.

“It doesn't matter.” Hannah said forcefully. “I'm tired take me home.”

“Yes dear.”