When did she stand tall !!

When she was on the Mountain or

When she stood on the beach,

When on the Earth.

Space nor Time was the Matter –

She rose.

Which mountain did she want to climb,

Yonder or Near !

Within or without,

Reflection or the Shadow

Everywhere or Nowhere !!

She rose.

Was there a mountain,

It was just the other dimension.

Eelin had decided to climb the mountain in the green valley - Mt. Zenith. She hesitated to venture alone for it felt a million years away. She wondered if she could ask Aari to accompany her? She smiled to herself at the thought of him – his name meant “mountain of strength”.

Aari would ridicule her and laugh loudly she assumed. Eelin and Aari had been friends forever. Eelin was always perplexed with time so million was a big deal for her. Aari on the other hand was largely confident because he was in blissful state. He was at the other spectrum – carefree and simple. He never pondered about the so-called complex facets of the Universe and beyond. That he left to Eelin. He teased her about the “thought face” she wore, whenever he had the chance. Her brows were constantly furrowed.

To Eelin every atom was connected and every meeting with creatures small and big had an inner depth and dimension. Eelin had moved to where they lived now from a small hill town. When she was young she was never cognizant of her surroundings nor the space she lived in. But somewhere along the time they had moved here she could feel the process within. This place was teaching her, twisting her insides. Often times she felt to escape into nowhere. An invisible momentum kept her fuelled up and moved her.

She would tell Aari, she was unlearning more than learning anything at all. Her entire being was being shaken. Things and ideas were being tossed out of her system ruthlessly. Just when she felt she could relax, this adventure by nature of climbing had skipped along, challenging her to wake up and move. She always thought to herself – “Yes this is it.” And then Eelin would be shaken up. No respite from the lessons tossed at her. She would never realise that all of those thoughts were to prepare her for the long haul until that incident.

Where people did not see any connection, Eelin could see a colossal network, enmeshed with gems of insights. She floated in the knowledge of unlearning. Layer after layer peeled off each and every time there were bursts of starry insights. But the peeling seemed infinite. Because waves of delusion slapped her as though she was the barrage. They came in multitudes and her gates could not control anything at all.

Eelin was ruminating while sitting on a rock beside the lighthouse and looking far out into the horizon. She had chosen to climb Zenith to get to conscious thoughtlessness. The rationale was where action began, thoughts would end. The more she reflected on the idea, her urge intensified. But it seemed extremely far-fetched. The inaction was pulling her down. It was as though an invisible person was holding her back with a string and when she wanted to let go, it drew her back.

There were more insights to come from a sort of unified field. And now for that small incident. When it happened, she went through the motions mechanically. People around her were concerned for her attitude and response to it. But for her it was alright. She neither could explain why she behaved that way nor wanted to as well. Many times she really wanted to be alone.

But the layered politeness was a garment that time had cloaked her with. And recently she had become too cautious around people. Though she felt they were her reflection. She was coming to those subtle but deep revelations on her own.

And Aari was the first reflection. A free-flowing individual, the other side of her. But Aari had always been that person – no attachment to anything, anyone. He was just present. Secretly she wanted to be Aari. That would be another layer to peel.

So Eelin had to climb. The incident was an alarm – a nice musical and gentle one at that. The people she was born with this lifetime around had left. Vanished – tasks done. Could it be just that she had to unlearn? That would be ultimate sacrifice just for this tiny being. She felt too important, another judgement she passed.

That subtle alarm was her wake-up call. She had ignored the connectedness of all of the happenings prior to that day. Though her view shifted on its aftermath. Eelin was able to infer how all of the events around and within her were interconnected. Yes, but she chose to come out of all of it.

So she had to climb. Her vulnerabilities – again the moss that had gathered deep inside her came to the surface. Where she had pretended that it did not exist, now was out in the open. It stunned her out of the blue. She was not prepared to see it till that time. She could not feign ignorance any more.

When the incident happened, it was a mundane and regular affair. Gradually it dawned on her that it might have seemed that way on the top. Her inner vision cleared. She was wearing those cool, rose-tinted glasses till then.

The green valley mountain – Zenith was beckoning her. But moments of “WHAT IF” hung in front of her line of vision. A constant reminder of her unsurety, a constancy of self-doubt – the procrastinating version of Eelin. The pretexts were being swept away. The elastic band holding her back was withering, tired of her plans to get out its hold and sway.

Eelin had asked Aari to accompany her. But he was nowhere to be found. She was in a quandary whether to climb or not.

But Eelin chose to climb Zenith, just her. She was in mid-way point. Aari or not, she had to keep moving up to transcend the peak. She was decluttering and needed to keep up the pace to walk over the Mons.

January 20, 2023 10:32

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