Breezy Thoughts

This story relates to trauma and well being. The love of life and acceptance regarding change and moving forward to revolve again with the support and kindness from others.

Brenda watched the wind blow against the window pane, of her small apartment over looking the sandy beach and rocks. Trying to remain positive thinking happy thoughts. Picnics on the beach, the odd bottle of iced wine shared with friends. Sunny blue skies with the sea gulls floating by. The waves lapping along coastline with just a slight breeze.

Fishing boats bobbing on a clear blue sea with a slight ripple of the waves, sea salt on a fine day, ice lolly's. A man with a stick in his hand, walking along the beach with an eager dog waiting for the stick to be thrown. Glistening wet sea shells, the sand between her toes, flip flop sandals. Everyday Things that Brenda had taken for granted. Memories, thoughts of happy days.

Today was not such a bright day, the weather matched her mood cold with sleet showers. A typical Wintry day with no one on the beach. Her mind went back two years ago a routine visit to the hospital, the Colonoscopy had showed that she did not have Bowel Cancer. Instead she had haemorrhoids which could be treated with cream. The tension had left Brenda's body. She had thanked the nurses getting dressed in the small hospital cubicle.

Occasionally Brenda would use cream for the haemorrhoids, from the local chemist shop. Getting up today early am, she had found a pool of blood upon her bed sheet. Ringing the emergency services for advise, she had tried not to panic. They had suggested that she got checked out at the local hospital. Brenda had tried not to panic ringing a local taxi firm.

The grey taxi cab had arrived promptly, within ten minutes of her call. Brenda had climbed into the taxi cab glad to be out of the cold. The cab had sped along the road as the wind blew sleet and rain upon the wind screen of the cab. Brenda chatted to the driver, as the hospital came into view. The taxi driver had driven Brenda straight to the door of the Causality Department. Grateful for his prompt efficient service she had handed him a ten pound note telling him to keep the change.

Entering the Casualty Department she had given the hospital

receptionist her personal details and address. After Brenda had sat patiently waiting for her turn to be seen. After waiting forty five minutes, her name was called by a nurse. The hospital staff were friendly and kind. Swabs were taken under her arms, in her groin, and mouth areas. Her blood pressure was also taken, weight checked, urine for diabetes. The tests were all clear.

Brenda was then advised to go into the lift to the Surgical Department of the hospital. Where she was attended to by a nurse and female doctor. Explaining her symptoms. She was asked to lie down on her side, upon the bed in a small office, off the main Surgical Ward. It had been a relief to know the haemorrhoids had not grown any bigger in size. The doctor had said all was well. Brenda had a clean bill of health, the bleeding from the haemorrhoids would be sore for a few days then heal of its own accord. A larger haemorrhoid had swollen up and burst, hence the blood stain upon the sheet.

As she left the hospital, after thanking the doctor and nurse for their support. Brenda thought how great the N.H.S was. With their patience, kindness, and understanding it had meant so much to her. Also that of the kindly taxi driver getting her to the hospital so quickly. This days experience would remain significant in her memory.

Finding that the rain and sleet had stopped, now public transport was running along the Coast Road. Brenda caught the bus into town happy and relaxed, a contented woman. She would be able to take her small dog Toto, along the coastline for a brisk walk. Her skin, from the sea breeze and salt, would be better and fresher than any bottled moisturiser. Little things being of importance as one grew older, family, friends, and a love of nature and the sea breeze.

Brenda must keep to a proper diet, exercise regularly and keep to a regular sleep pattern. Her eyes filled with tears as Toto her small Scottie dog greeted her on her return home. He would never ever catch those seagulls , or the odd squirrel that appeared in the local park. Toto would never give up with his sharp little bark and a passion for the chase. Life nature and the elements was precious for one to survive the tumours and riggers of life.

Cold and warmth, love, kindness, understanding of life, and its reasons, one may never fully understand the context? Progress along the way being of importance. Acceptance, joy happiness with others being the path way to survive. Maslow's Triangle of needs what a person needs to survive, came to mind. Not to take everything for granted.

Today had an okay day after all, different but with a positive result. She would see what would be on the horizon for herself and her dear companion Toto. Although not a fan of the cold weather he would always be there for her. With his wagging stump of a tail and warm brown eyes. Worth his weight in doggie treats. As Brenda opened the door to her apartment Toto's ears pricked up, bless him he had made himself comfortable on the lounge hearth rug. She would make it up to him now she felt more relaxed herself.

Slowly, Toto got up from the tawny coloured hearth rug, coming towards her. They would share many walks and happy times together. Boy friends over the years had come and gone. Briefly Brenda had lived with Brian for a while they had enjoyed each others each company. Now there was only one fellow for her dear sweet Toto.