AH, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

AH, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!

He entered the bar out of breath, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his T-shirt rolled up on his stomach, half uncovered. He squinted, he was not in his own ( he was not in himself) for the impatience to start telling us…oh, wonders. “ Ah, you don’t know, but sure, you can’t know! It happened a few  minutes ago , as I was walking down the alley of the fools…and there was only me in the alley! Uh!” After that he , standing at the centre of the bar, wobbled, moving the support point of his body from one leg ( foot) to the other, and  he kept winkling, pressing his index finger to the corner of his mouth. “ But then , Maurice! Tell us! We are all ears!” John urged him , who, early in the morning was already half drunk.  He, Maurice, with his hands stuck in his jeans pockets, started going up and down from the counter to the bar door, with his torso bent forward, his big  butt protruding back forwards. He, very much thoughtful, scratching the back of his neck , kept on saying: “ Ah, how can I tell you? ah…impossible to believe it…Eh, you weren’t there, but I , yes, I was there….ah, really incredible!”  “ But then, what happened ? Come on, Maurice, tell us” We all kept urging him. Maurice took off a shoe and, holding it vertically in front of himself, looked at it for some moments, then he dropped his shoe to the ground . “ Here, so, that woman in the alley, threw a little child down the terrace, just as I threw this shoe now!” Maurice said in a shrill voice. “ Oh, poor child! “ Tony was the first who was able speaking after a few moments of silence, during which we all gasped, looking  at him, Maurice, with our mouths open.

“ What about the child? Is he dead?” The barman asked.  “ Oh, that poor baby will have been scrambled  for sure!” John exclaimed, in a frightened voice. “ Ah, and yet I told you that something incredible happened! Really incredible! Because that woman threw the baby down the terrace, from about four meters of height, yes, but the baby didn’t fall to the ground!” Maurice spoke with a voice, with an air on his face, as if he couldn’t believe what he was telling, indeed, also what he had seen.

“Oh! And WHY?  Now you won’t tell us that the baby started flying, huh?” Jimmy sneered.

“ Or that an angel came to save the poor baby!”  Paul yelled. “ No, it wasn’t an angel which grabbed that very little child before he crashed to the ground….it was instead…on, try to guess who was ( had been)… but I bet you cannot guess  anyway !” Maurice, very excited, was shouting, so that a crowd of people gathered ( came) at the entrance door of the bar, and all they peered inside the room, not daring to enter. “ Oh, come on, but sure that I can guess “ Joe said.  “You told that there was only you in the alley so, but yes, oh, we know that our Maurice is a good man! But yes, it was you , it was only you who saved that baby!” And we all started to applaud Maurice, singing: “ For he’s a jolly good fellow/ for he’s a jolly god fellow…..”

“ Ah, STOP! Stop it , please!” Maurice shouted, pressing his hands on ( over) his ears. “ No, it wasn’t me who prevented that little child from falling to the ground …” He said. And, after a moment of silence : “ It was instead A DOG! A big wolf dog!” “ Oh” we all murmured, astonished, and moved too. Then someone, I don’t remember if (it was) Joe or Patrick, began to melt a praise on animals, which are better than men and even than women! Ah, it must be recognized!  “ Dogs above all! They really are men’s best friend!” People crowded at the entrance screamed.  “ Ah, lucky you, dear Maurice, since you could see , with your own eyes, the dog that saved the child!” They exclaimed, clapping their hands.

“ Wait…wait…because the story does not end here ( the story is not over yet). I have not yet finished telling what happened” Maurice, serious said, as he was inviting to be calm even with his hands gestures. Then, with his hands behind his back, he began again to go up and down from the entrance door to the counter , and from the counter to the door. He walked with long and slow steps, with his head down, his eyes on the ground. “ Then, my dear friends, ah, I see you’re all thrilled, hearing  that the big dog grabbed the child before the poor little one fell to the ground….Sure, it was ( had been) the big wolf dog that prevented that baby from being shattered to the ground. But…shortly after saving him, the big dog ate the little child” Maurice said in a disconsolate tone, continuing to keep his eyes on the ground. Some minutes passed in which we all , terrified, astonished, remained silent  before there was an “ Oh!” that sounded more like a lament ( a moan) than a scream. ____But, truly, there was also someone who  was laughing silently, convinced ( thinking) that the good Maurice was telling us a lot of lies___

But soon we all had to believe ( to end up believing) what Maurice was telling, since we saw how much he was afflicted for ( by) what had happened under his eyes. “ But how? The dog was able to eat the baby  without any of the inhabitants of the alley doing anything to prevent it?” I asked. In fact I couldn’t think that at least he, Maurice, who had seen the dog eat the child, hadn’t  at least screamed, asked for help. “ But was there no one who had a rifle to shoot that beast?”  the bartender asked, shouting. “ Eh, yes, someone there was…who shot…but he didn’t  shoot the big dog “ Maurice said, shaking his head, more and more disconsolate.  “ But who(m) did he shoot if not the dog ?” We asked, incredulous.  “ Ah, yet I said you that what happened …it is more than incredible” Maurice murmured, dragging the words, shaking his head.  “ Sure, when the wolf dog bit the baby, I screamed, and other people who looked out the window also screamed, asking for help. A man came to the window with a rifle in his hands. But he didn’t shoot the dog, he shot the woman who threw the baby off the terrace.....” Maurice said, in a disconsolate tone.

We all present in the bar, seven or eight people, had not yet recovered , completely terrified by what Maurice had just told us, when a big wolf dog entered the bar.  And immediately behind the big beast a tall and massive man, with  a fixed motionless stare appeared , who was holding the dog on a leash. “ Here, it was a dog like this, that one ...which picked up and then ate the baby” Maurice said, looking at the big wolf dog in dismay. The man who was holding the dog on the leash raised a white stick in Maurice’s face, very close to his face. “ Don’t dare a more word ( one more word) against this dog! That not only  is my eyes, but  which also saved the lives of many people who had been attacked ( assaulted) or were about to drown!” The man cried, in a terrible, shivering voice. It seemed that it was he, not the wolf dog, who is going to bite and eat Maurice.  Even the dog , which was not muzzled, was scowling at him, grinding his teeth.  He, Maurice, all frightened, trembling like a leaf, nevertheless was able to jump away from the blind man and his wolf dog.  Huddled between a table and the counter, at a safe distance from the big wolf dog which continued to stare at him with dark eyes, a heavy gaze, grinding its  teeth , and even from the blind man’s weapon, his white stick from whose bottom end a pointed blade came out, he started the praise of….the beast that stood in front of him, which could be the same one that a little earlier he had seen eat the child thrown from the terrace ( by a woman, who probably was the child’s mother). Indeed Maurice, when , at first, he began to declaim, with a trembling voice, his praise, he didn’t feel like addressing it ( his praise) to the very dog which stood in front of him threateningly. “ Ah, yes…I know, I know well….that dogs like this…yes, just like this one here, what extraordinary actions they are capable of…”  “ Not dogs like this! But THIS DOG! “ The blind man ordered, raised his pointed weapon, the white stick, and stretching it towards Maurice’s face, very close to his face. “ But sure….I meant precisely …THIS DOG, oh, yes…I saw just …this dog save old people and children from fires…..and then, ah, I saw him ( this dog) dive into the stormy sea to save people who are about to drown…..I also saw this…this beautiful dog  taking  injured people to the emergency room, yes, I saw….” Maurice’s voice at times jammed, at times choked . It was clear that he was trembling with fear. “ Not enough!  This wonderful dog has done much more than what you told!  So, go ahead, tell the extraordinary exploits of my most trusted friend, this wonderful dog!” The blind man ordered, with a voice that was a growl, while  the sharp point of his stick ( the pointed blade coming out from the end of his stick) was coming very close to one of Maurice’s eyes. It was going to touch the inner corner of his eye. But how, I wondered, and , like me, I believe others wondered it,…..is  THIS BLIND MAN able to know where Maurice is, precisely where he is? But then…this man is not blind, he pretended to be blind.    “I….well, I’m trying to remember “ Maurice stammered. He was intimidated, in obvious difficulty. Oh, but WHY didn’t he ask the blind man to move that sharp blade away from him, from his face? Or, why didn’t he himself move it away from his face, grasping firmly the stick from which it came out ( sprouted)?    “ So, hurry up and remember!” THE BLIND MAN shouted at him in a terrible voice. “ Or do you need me to help you remember, eh? “ And, so saying, he ( the blind man) stuck the pointed blade, that protruded from the end of his stick , into the corner of Maurice’s eye, right between the eye and the nose. A trickle of blood slid down Maurice’s cheek, and  we all, who were in the bar, started screaming. “ Help! But this man is crazy!  On, let’s stop him!” He, Maurice, didn’t say even an “Ah”. It seemed he had become speechless.

Someone, braver than the others, they were perhaps Joe and Jimmy, grabbed the blind man from behind, to pull  the blade of his cane ( stick)  away  from Maurice. They could not, however, snatch the cane from his hand. And the blind man was able to wound them too, with the pointed blade of his cane .  A group of the  people who had remained on ( at) the door snooping, came ( broke) into the bar, shouting: “ Beware!  This man and his dog are ferocious, ruthless murderers ! Above all, when they attacked together !” The big wolf dog jumped on those ( people) who entered the bar, biting them, while the blind man, if he really was a blind man, continued to wave his bladed stick, hitting now one, now another of us. When the policemen arrived, incredible but true!, they lined up in defense of the blind man and his terrible dog, since according to those…good men of servants of the state surely we had been those who had attacked the poor blind man and had provoked his magnificent dog.  “ SHAME on attacking a poor handicapped as this blind man, who is a very good man!” The policemen scolded ( rebuffed) us bitterly, and they even took us to batons. So that one….the poor blind man was able, in all tranquility and safety ,to take out the eye of Maurice, which he had already undermined. It was enough ( just) another small lunge of  the sharp pointed blade, that came out of his white cane ( stick), and Maurice’s eye fell to the ground. He, Maurice, bent down to pick it ( his eye) up, but the big dog was faster and ate the eye. Of course we all, present in the bar ended up in jail, not the….poor blind man. Only Maurice was not arrested, since he had to go to the hospital.

After some time here that Maurice came again in that bar and, all enthusiastic, started to tell us oh, how much ( how truly) miraculously his eye had been put back at its place, into its socket. “ Ah, this country has a truly wonderful health care and very exceptional doctors! They are able to do miracles!  Ah, what luck to live in such a wonderful, but indeed miraculous country! Yes, a so good, but very good country where health care can even work miracles!” We, stunned, we stood looking at him ( Maurice) , silently, mouth-opened. Since we knew, as he too had to know, that his eye had been eaten by the blind man’s dog , so that what they, the marvelous doctors of our amazing health service ( of our wonderful country)  had put in his socket   could only be an eye of glass. But he, Maurice, kept saying that it was his very eye, that it had been put back at its place, and that he could see even better than before.