Forget-Me-Not

It was the summer of ‘77, nothing to worry about except which car looked better and which girl looked the best at the hamburger stand just around the block. There were no phones, no internet, no social media distracting us from reality. It was a better time than what it is today. My friend Russell and I were close, like crazy close. We’d do anything for each other. In elementary school Russell was bullied because his parents were hippies and I was bullied because I was the new kid in town. Us both being bullied caused us to become friends and team up with each other to overcome the bullies. We only had one another. I became close with his family, and frankly I don’t see why everyone made fun of the fact his parents were hippies. They were so cool, I looked up to them. They were like my second family. My relationship with my family was not the best, which is another reason why Russell and I were so close, I would always be at his house with him and his family. I really felt at home there.

Fast forward 10 years to when we were 17 years old. Well I was 17, Russell still had a few more months to go. We were sitting at the park under the big oak tree, the tree where we had our first true friendship milestone. This is the tree that we vowed we’d be best friends forever when we were little. Looking back at it it seems childish but it meant a lot. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, it was a perfect day to be outside. Russell had a brilliant idea of going for a cruise and checking out the local scenery. I had just gotten my first car for my 17th birthday so I was still getting used to driving but nonetheless I still loved the idea of showing off my car and Russell loved the idea of being able to go places because his best friend had a car.

Driving down Main Street, where all the cool kids hung out, we saw her. The most gorgeous woman ever. Long brown hair, beautiful dark brown eyes, the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen. My heart stopped for a minute. She was sitting outside of Big Al’s Pizza Palace and so was her friend. Luckily Russell and I didn’t have one of those huge blowout fights over a girl that would ruin our friendship because he had eyes for her friend. We parked our car and ordered a pizza, trying to build up the courage to talk to those girls. Russell, out of impatience says, “You know what, man? We can’t just wait around looking for an opportunity that will never come! We either go over there and talk to them now or never see them again.” His words sparked something in me. Sparked courage and confidence. We walked over to the girls, sat down, and offered them pizza. They laughed. But not a laugh of embarrassment for us but a laugh showing they were interested in us. We all started talking and the next thing you know we had a date for next Friday.

We drove to Russell’s house to think about what just happened. It was amazing, we actually have dates! A couple weeks go by and Russell and his new girlfriend are getting close. They’re always hanging out together and having a blast. I’m happy for him, I really am. For me and that girl at the pizza place, we didn’t really hit it off. We called it quits a couple days ago but I didn’t want to tell Russell because I didn’t want that to affect him and his girl. A week goes by and I swing by his house to see what he’s doing. Well he wasn’t home, he didn’t tell me he was going out. I sat there with his parents for a while then I headed back home. I figured he was out with his girl.

 Three years later and we’re now 20 years old. We’re not as close as we used to be but we’re still friends. I keep reminding myself Russell has a life of his own and so do I. We’re busy adults. Maybe I could call him up and see if he wanted to catch up sometime. I pondered this thought for a while until I dismissed it. He’s busy and I don’t want to bother him. If he has time he’ll call me. As thoughts go through my head about my life, my job, my house, I think to myself how I miss having someone by my side to remind me everything will be okay.

5 years later and I get a letter in the mail. It’s from Russell! It’s a wedding invitation... wow, I can’t believe this. I can’t believe my friend is getting married! But why didn’t he tell me he was going to get married? I thought we told each other everything. I wonder who his best man will be? We don’t talk like we used to, it surely can’t be me. These thoughts sadden me but I can’t be sad. I have to be happy, this is a joyous occasion. Yet, my true emotions overpower the happiness I’m supposed to feel. I have a right to be sad.

A year passes by and I’m sitting in the crowd of your wedding. You look as happy as can be marrying that girl we met at the pizza place. I’m happy for you, I truly am but I can’t help to feel regret in letting our friendship float away like a web in the wind. I know it isn’t my fault entirely but I know I could’ve called, I know I could’ve swung by your house, I know I could’ve done something more. But I didn’t and I truly regret that. We make eye contact but no communication. I can tell you wanted to say something but people and family members swarmed you to congratulate you. I say my goodbyes to everyone and head home.

40 years later and I’m sitting under that big oak tree thinking about our friendship. Oh how I wish I could go back and do something. But I can’t. You will always be a friend to me Russell. I’m not mad that we drifted away, life happens. Author Ally Condie once said,

“Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that." I truly stand by that quote and I am grateful for growing with you. I just hope you think about the past the same way I do, Russell.