The Layover

Subzero temperatures had transformed the torrential rainfall into tiny beads of ice. The sound reminded her of rice being poured onto a hardwood floor. She shuttered as she remembered a man she dated briefly years ago that was into some pretty sexually deviant stuff, least of all masturbating while watching her kneel naked on kernels of rice. The lengths she used to go. 

  Next to her non-alcoholic beer her cell phone buzzed and lit up with yet another text message from the airline apologizing for the delay. Her flight would start boarding at 10:20pm now. That was another hour and twenty. Times like this she was almost sorry she no longer drank; time would have flown, but being stone cold sober in an airport bar was a new kind of high. Witnessing human interaction in its most unreserved form was a sport in and of itself. Besides, after ten years of heavy drinking the taste, and the carbonation was all so familiar her brain didn’t really seem to understand it was non-alcoholic and she could have sworn she had a buzz. Across the bar, a couple was having a loud argument but she couldn’t make out the words. It seemed like the man was being accused of having his gaze on another woman for too long. Alcohol fueled. She didn’t miss those days. Didn’t miss the expansion of loneliness that always seemed to hover over her relationships like the black storm cloud that was pummeling them now. And she certainly didn’t miss the fiery, explosive conclusions that they always came to. Somehow, she felt less lonely now that she was alone.  

“Is anyone sitting here?” A man’s voice asked. 

She snapped back to the present, gladly pulled out of the unwelcome walk down memory lane.  

“No” she said simply, glancing at him, being immediately taken aback by how pleasing he was to her eyes. Out of pure habit she looked to his ring finger. Empty. She sat up straighter. He took the seat and set his bag down next to him, checked his phone and raked a finger through his hair. She caught a whiff of his cologne. Heat began to rise up within her. Interesting.  

“I’ll have a Jameson on the rocks, please” the man said.  

She smiled inwardly. “Good taste” she thought and suddenly felt very self-conscious of her non-alcoholic Heineken.  

“I can’t believe this weather!” he exclaimed.  It took her a minute to realized he was talking to her.  

“I know,” she said “My flight is delayed another hour and twenty. I don’t know that it will even take off then.” 

“Oh yeah? Mine too! Where are you headed?” He asked 

“Baltimore. I doubt the weather will be any better when I get there.” 

“Yeah, probably not. Hope you packed warm.” He smiled warmly at her. Damn...that smile was all the warmth she would need. Then almost immediately reproached herself. Those type of thoughts were unlike her these days. Part of getting sober and getting her life together had included putting a hold on her love life, because well, that was always a messy business. And besides, surely he had a girlfriend, or he’s married and doesn’t wear a ring. Who knew? One thing she learned was the world wasn’t always black and white but there were as many shades of grey as there are the human experience. He was still looking at her expectant of a reply and normally she would have been annoyed by such an interaction, but he seemed so genuine. His aura was so bright, a foreign energy to her that electrified her like static. She held onto the feeling like a fistful of sand. 

“Where are you headed?”  

“I’m going to LA. My sister just had a baby. So, I guess now I’m officially an uncle!” He beamed. His enthusiasm was so infectious, her grim mood was long gone. 

“Aw, congratulations. Boy or girl?” 

“Girl”. He smiled again. That thousand-watt, thoughtful smile. “What’s in Baltimore? Business, pleasure?” The stranger asked. 

“Ah, well I’m going to my father’s funeral.” 

Instantly his face fell, and he became serious, which against reason, made him even more attractive “I’m so sorry to hear that.”  

“No, it’s ok. I hadn’t spoken to him for years. And it was his own doing really.” She heard herself saying. The apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree, until recently when she reversed the cycle. She left that part out. 

“Even still, I’m sorry to hear that.”  

“Thank you.” She said quietly. Somehow the sympathy of the stranger was more comforting than she could have imagined. 

His drink arrived and he sipped it for a moment in silence.  

“I’m Alexi by the way.” 

“Autumn.” 

“Beautiful name, for a beautiful girl.” Alexi replied. 

Autumn smiled at him incredulously. How could she, in such a dark moment feel so alive? “Thank you.” 

They both watched through the big glass window as a jet effortlessly lifted up and away into the air. Sonder. Where were they going? Where had they been?  

Her phone buzzed again. A break in the clouds. Her new boarding time was 9:50.  

“So, Alexi are you from Denver?” she asked. She wanted to make conversation. Wanted him to stay. The first time she had ever been disappointed a flight delay was being cut short.  

“No, it’s just a layover for me. I live in North Carolina actually. Cheap flight took me the round- about way I suppose.” He laughed. She loved his laugh, and she knew the reason she loved it because it was fleeting. “Denver is home?” 

Home, for her it was more of a concept than a place. “It is for now.”  She turned her beer. And suddenly, she began speaking and it was like a floodgate had been opened up. She up told him about how she had ended up in Denver as a fresh start, how she had closed herself off from the world for the last year, save work which was a necessary evil and how she had reinvented herself. Done all the cliché things one does when they are on a journey of self-discovery and then some. What she couldn’t understand was how she had denied herself the opportunity to be vulnerable again for so long and then threw all caution to the wind and poured her heart out to an airport stranger. She glanced at the clock. 9:30.  

He listened intently. Eyebrows furrowed obviously in deep thought, but what was most remarkable was he didn’t seem surprised or even offput by her dissertation. Maybe he was used to having this intoxicating effect on people.  

He seemed to be lost in thought for a while before speaking. “I think that’s amazing. Not a lot of people can really do a hard reset on life. It takes courage to even face our own demons. Let alone find the strength needed to actually outrun them. I think you should be proud of yourself. And also, maybe start letting people in. You know, once they prove their worthiness, I suppose.” He smiled again. 

She wanted to asked him for his contact information. Her phone buzzed. The airline was pleased to let her know her flight would be boarding in 10 minutes. Surely, he would reject her, she would turn a lovely conversation into an awkward one. And even if he didn’t, he lived in another part of the country. She’d been around long enough to know how those things go. 

“Thank you.” She said “Thank you for listening. I don’t know why I told you all that.”  

“It’s no problem. I’m a very good listener.” He loved listening, but the downside was, he seemed destined to always be the listener which can be a lonely role. Too bad she lived so far away... she was perfect. In passing, we all are.  

Her phone buzzed again. Plane was boarding now. She started to put some money on the counter for her tab, but he waved her away. “I got it. Thanks for keeping me company.” He said.  

She paused and for the first time, noticed how green his eyes were. Beautiful glowing jaded stones. He held his in his eyes, hers was in her heart.