Family is Forever

A small smile twists my lips as I look out at the bewitching landscape; the land, cracked, red, and clear of the smoke from the blazing plane behind me, is overlooked by distant black hills, accented by the blue and gold streaked sky. I struggle towards the hills, a million miles away. I can almost feel the chilly breeze, cooling my cracked skin, I hear the stream rushing down towards the green fields of civilization, I see the water, cold and clear, ready to cool my parched throat. The image is replaced by another one, another time, a time with much more pain. 

I taste the copper taste of blood coating my tongue, I hear gunshots followed by screams, I stare at the horizon, trying to find my platoon across the smoke. The chill air bites through my wet jacket, seeming to mock the heat of the battle. 

Down in the valley, the torrid air flows over the cracks of my burnt skin. I take a hopping step forward then push the stick I am holding to the front, letting my hind leg drag along. I should feel pain shooting up my leg; I should wince as I drag the broken mass behind me. Instead, I feel nothing. Not pain, not hope, nothing. This small fact is more worrying than gratifying; the last time I heard about this type of nothingness, it had resulted in death. 

Blood pulses out of his chest, squirting like a hose. On, off, on, off. “I don’t… feel… anything…” he panted, his breath coming in short bursts. I push against his wound trying to slow his bleeding. It's like trying to stop a river with my hands. “I… oh…” I feel his heart stutter, his heart gives a few heavy beats, then nothing. Before I can do or say anything I hear machine guns chatter behind me, the bullets coming worryingly close.

I am seeing double. The cracked earth seems to layer, one on top of another with the sky doing its best to fill in the fissure. The second layer of sky and earth come closer and closer until they seem to crash together, closing like the lid of a coffin. I stumble, my good leg giving out beneath me. Before I can react, the stick jumps, leaving me with nothing to lean against; I can see the ground rising up to hit me. 

I am falling, the plane spiraling out of control behind me. I pull the handle for the main parachute but nothing happens. I can see the ground getting closer and closer. I try the reserve parachute with the same result. Nothing. I pull again and again. Finally, it opens but I am too close to the ground. This will hurt.  

My head hits the ground with a thunk, but I feel nothing. The ground does not know it but I win this round. My eyes close and I reach towards the calm, cool darkness. This a darkness I have never known before. It's not the darkness of sleep after a long days march, nor is it the darkness of unconsciousness after being shot. This darkness is different, blissful, and still. This is a darkness where I will never again come to pain or sorrow. This is a darkness I could grow to love. Before I let go of my body entirely I open my eyes one last time, taking in the sapphire sky, the molten gold streaking through with blood-red rubies scattered through the horizon. I smile, knowing I will be buried in beauty. With this thought, I let go. 

-

I blink, looking up. A face stares down at me from a foot away. It’s male, with short brown hair, an olive-colored face, and chocolate brown eyes. 

“Noah?” I ask, sitting up. My mind spins as I try to process what had happened. “You’re dead.” It’s a statement, not a question, but he answers anyway.

“Yes, dear, I am. And so are you. Welcome to heaven.”

I stare, unable to process what he is saying. “Heaven?!” I look around. We seem to be in a large house. The style looks to be a bit older, with oak floors and accents, and three leather sofas, like the one I am sitting on. I smile a little. This is the kind of place I would love to live in if I could ever afford it. Wait, I realize, I'm in heaven. I probably don't need money to live here. 

My idle thoughts suddenly scatter as I realize why I cannot be dead. My daughter needs me.

“But what about Erin? I can’t leave her alone! What is she going to do? She will be so scared! I promised her I would come home!” Noah grabs my hand as I start to hyperventilate. 

“Erin is OK,” He tells me. “She is still with my brother and sister. They have decided to adopt her. You know how much they love her. She will be fine.” As he talks Noah grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet.

As Noah guides me out the door and through the halls, I amend my earlier assessment. We are not in a house, we seem to be in some sort of mansion. The hall goes on and on, with rooms all down the hall.

We walk into some sort of living room, with plush couches and a TV above the mantle. He flips it on and changes the channels until the screen lights up with Erin, sitting on a couch between her aunt Aliza and her uncle Brad. Tears run down all cheeks and a smile light up their faces. Every once in awhile they burst out laughing. They seem to be flipping through some sort of book. As I look closer I realize that it's my scrapbook. 

Noah turns on the sound and I can suddenly hear what they are saying. “This right here is the first time I ever met her,” Brad is saying. “Noah had taken her paintballing. They didn’t know it but I was also there, with a group of friends. We were on opposing teams and only knew her as this awesome shooter. She would take out just about everybody by herself, to the point that her team became just her and Noah against everybody. We eventually got her. You see that paint splatter there? That was from me. Your mother was so surprised she got hit! She had been so confident that she wouldn't be that she wore a white t-shirt and jeans. Of course, it didn’t hurt that none of us knew what we were doing.” 

I smile along with them as I hear the story. I hadn’t been especially good, but everybody else had rented guns, none of which shot straight. With my brother's gun, I had actually able to shoot where I was aiming rather than 6 feet to the side, an advantage that led me to win. Near the end of the last game, Noah had started to feel bad for the other team, especially as he had recognized his brother in the pink and purple sweater Noah’s mother had ironically made Brad on his birthday. In the end, we decided to cut them some slack, and Noah had shot me himself, right over my heart. Afterward, we had come out and pretended we were surprised to see Brad.

I smile as I settle down on the couch to hear more. As Noah settles down next to me I lean against him, content for the moment to let go of my confusion and just watch my daughter. I would figure this afterlife out, so by the time she got here both her parents would be able to guide her and help her. I would be with her again. I snuggle closer into his side, content to wait to give Erin a big hug, hoping I had to wait for a very long time.