I, PETER FORSYTH?

I, PETER FORSYTH?

I stared at the crowd and told the biggest lie of my life. I am not who you think I am. In fact I do not know who I am. This is all a mistake.

Or was it a lie? Who was I? And who were they? I was still Peter Forsyth wasn’t I? If that was true, what was I, Peter Forsyth, of Erie, PA, doing here in this arena, on this stage, in front of all these strangers? It didn’t feel like I was in Erie, anymore.

I didn’t see a single person in front of me who looked familiar or who looked like he or she recognized me. Had I been on a bender? No, that couldn’t be it. I hadn’t had a drink in 10 years and I didn’t take what they call recreational drugs, either. But why had I forgotten what had brought me here and for what purpose? It must have been the Ambien I took last night. I didn’t even remember driving here. Where was here?

Wait, someone was waving at me. He came up and shook my hand. He looked familiar but it was a face from the past. It was Eli Oldfolk; My God I hadn’t seen my old history teacher in many years. How strange, he looked just the way I remembered him in 7th grade history class. Not a single gray hair. Was this some kind of surprise school reunion I’d been invited to? Of course they would ask me to speak, because I was the class valedictorian after all. But wait, I hadn’t done any public speaking in the 7th grade so why would Mr. Elias ask me to talk? And how did he recognize me after all these years-- with my salt and pepper hair and dad bod. I am No 7th grade minnow anymore.

Then, suddenly he walked off. Or just kind of vanished. Maybe it was mistaken identity, after all? Strange. My palms were sweating and my stomach was churning. My throat was dry. I could even feel my feet sweating inside my socks. I looked down. I wasn’t even wearing socks. I had on slippers. Omg, how embarrassing! Had I been in such a rush that I forgot to put my shoes on? I felt like making a run for it but I felt paralyzed. I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

I tried to think; after all I was an education professional. If this was some sort of a school reunion, it wouldn’t draw hundreds of people, would it? This had to be some sort of a mistake. There had to hundreds, maybe thousands of people out there. What did they come for? What was I doing in what seemed like an arena full of men, women even small children. I thought I even saw a dog chasing something under the seats. A squirrel? A rat? I didn’t see a single familiar face in the crowd. What were they all doing here? What was I doing here? I tried to raise my voice to say I don’t belong here, this is a mistake, but the words wouldn’t come out.

The curtain was coming down. Thank God, with my heart racing I ran for what looked like an exit and pushed it open. It seemed to be snowing. In May? Weird. The way the snow was piling up reminded me of my childhood in Michigan. Even the houses all in a row across the street. That one in the middle with the porch swing and the yellow door. It looked like the house I grew up in. But that would be impossible. I lived in Pennsylvania now.

I closed my eyes and sat down on the curb. I needed something. Coffee, Sleep? Where was my car? I couldn’t find my car keys in my pocket where I usually put them. Did I leave them in the car, if I was that out of it? Would they (whoever they were) be coming out to bring me back into that arena? I turned to go back inside but it was missing. The building was gone. Maybe I had walked a few blocks without thinking and turned a corner. How could an arena full of hundreds of people just disappear? No more Ambien for me.

Maybe I wasn’t in Pennsylvania after all.There were two people coming down the street on horseback. Well, that could happen in Erie but they were dressed like lost surfers, wearing flip-flops and headbands with feathers. It must be something like an anything goes spring break here, wherever I was. That must be it. No wonder everyone was acting goofy. A metal band would probably pop up on the next corner.

I walked another block. There was a soda fountain. With old timey soda jerks inside. It was like the one – Gussie’s-- I remembered from my teen years. Probably another joke from the chamber of commerce.

Maybe I would go inside and have an old timey soda, why not?

I sat down on a stool and when I turned, there was my aunt Elise at the end of the counter eating Jell-O with a fork. Prim and proper aunt Elise from Provo Utah.In a housedress . Was this the kind of weekend aunt Elise would come to town for? No, it must be someone else. I closed my eyes again and when I opened them she was gone and the floorboards were sagging underneath me, sagging and creaking. I heard people screaming and I held my breath. This wasn’t amusing anymore.

When I opened my eyes I was in an alley. Where had the time gone? It was now pitch dark.

The alley led nowhere. Well, nowhere good. Because In front of me blocking my escape path sat a super-sized trash bin rusty, busted looking and smelling like barbecued socks. . Worse, hanging out of each side of it were fat oily- looking snakes of different colors, gyrating and hissing at me as they slid out of the trash, one after the other, and slithered toward me. First a red one, then a green one. I started to run when I felt a sharp pain slicing up the back of my leg. I had tripped over a rock and twisted my ankle, breaking the skin. Blood was dribbling over my ankle, bright red and then starting to gush and turning an eerie shade of green. Was I rotting from the inside? I must be dying. I reached for the branch that had fallen off the one half dead tree in the alley. Oh no, it wasn’t a branch. I had a grabbed one of the snakes! Its’ sharp pointed tongue was twirling, reaching for my face and then the branch in my hand turned into something soft and scented! I was holding bed sheets. There was no snake, there was no alley, and there was no audience. I hadn’t seen my history teacher or my aunt or my childhood home.

I hadn’t been asked to talk to any gathering. It was a lie. I did know who I was and I, Peter Forsyth was still in Pennsylvania and I was still in bed. It wasn’t snowing anymore and the surfers and soda jerks had all left the room.

I was awake and I could smell the coffee brewing.