One Thousand Three Hundred Eighty-Four Days

Return Address:

Ida Merritt-Payne

2187 O Conner Street

Albany, Georgia(GA), 31707

Delivery Address:

Rueben-James L. Haines-Payne

830 Beaver Ridge Lane

Hamburg, NY 14075

September 15, 20XX

Dear Reuben,

I hope this finds you well, I have been struggling with for a long time but I have been putting off what I need to say for the entity of our relationship, but I feel ready to finally to tell you the truth, I know this letter is cruel and selfish but you deserve to know the truth and have any closer I can give you. All I can give is in this letter nothing more nothing, less there is nothing, I believe both of us have nothing we can gain by meeting face to face for this conversation so please do not try to find and talk to me in person.

Let me explain what I am talking about by starting at the beginning:

On our wedding day I gave you a promise at the alter, I said “Eight hundred ninety-two days that is how long I have loved you, I loved you for eight hundred and ninety-two days and I promise too keep loving you for at least eight hundred and ninety-two more.”

The day I send this letter we would have been together for one thousand three hundred eighty-four days and married for half that time. By the time you read it, it is either the day of our second anniversary or the day has already passed. The gift for the year is cotton so I got you a cotton hoodie of you favorite sports team, it is in the box, consider it a last good-bye gift. I am sorry if you do not like, I have never been go at gift giving.

Understand I want you to know that I am not writing this letter to hurt you, that is the last thing I want to do, but to be honest with you about my feelings and let you live and move on with out me.

I am sorry for the pain this will cause Rueben I am, but I hope you can understand why I have to do this. And I know it will only hurt the long we keep moving on with like nothing is wrong with us. I know you do not know how much I love you truly love, I can not keep living this lie any more.

Rueben-James Lachlan Haines-Payne, you are an amazing man, you have only ever intensely given me love, respect, care, appreciation, and patients. I know you would go from the moon and back if I asked you too. Reuben, you are handsome and a wonderful person and anyone would be luck to be with you. But I can not move away and live with you, I can no long be with you, I can not keep living as the person preventing you from the love and happiness you deserve, the same love and happiness you have given to me and others. Understand this has nothing to do with you, my decision is only because of me, nothing you have done or haven’t done effects it at all. I can no long have you in my life.

Before I can leave you behind I must give somethings back to you: First the wedding ring, you most likely saw the ring in the envelope wrap up securely I know it belonged to you great great grand-mother made by her husband and passed down give it someone who deserves it; The letters you wrote me are also in the envelope I double checked that all of them was there, I read and enjoyed every single love note and poem you have written to me, I saved each of them in the red wood box I kept under my bed, I read each and everyone regularly. I return all of them to you now, I can not carry them with me any more, do with them as you will; You also see the old theater/movie tickets, photos, flattened dried flowers, and drawings that were once on my home office pin board in there as well, with any other little mementos of our relationship, once again do with them as you will. Lastly the paper are in the envelope I have signed everything and want nothing from you, everything you gave me that would not fit into a envelope is waiting for you at the old house. I want nothing that is not mine I am leaving everything else.

Now you are asking why, why a I leaving you. Rueben, you love me more in one day then I have loved you through out our whole relation, and although I thought I could grown to love you the same way you love me in that time, I feel now that it is not fair for you nore me. I was more in love with the idea of our relationship then with you. So time for us to go our separate ways this is not health for either of us. I hope you can understand that I need to move on and find happiness elsewhere and you should too. I wish I could say maybe in the future we will meet and it will work or it is just the wrong timing, but I can’t we are not made for each other we will never work no meet when or where it is just the who and the who is me.

I kept that promise I loved you for eight hundred ninety-two more days after our wedding but I can not love you for one more day. My love has not grow nore has is styed. One last thing I need to give you back is your heart, I am sorry if it is broken it is all my fault, after all I wasted you time, energy, money, love, and life for just barely under four year, over forty-five month, under two hundred weeks, or exactly one thousand three hundred eighty-four days.

Sincerely forever, 

Ida Merritt