Sleep, Kells

N: You’ve been dreaming for a while; the birds are starting to leave their hiding places.

K: ...mmmwhat?

N: They’re going to start looking for us soon – well you, not me.

K: …what happened?

N: …

K: …Hello?

N: Yes. Hello.

K: Who are you?

N: An odd final question. I thought you at least knew me better than that.

K: What’s going on? I can’t see a thing. 

N: Neither can I.

K: Where am I?

N: …That’s difficult to explain.

K: This doesn’t make sense. I… where’s the lake?

N: …the lake?

K: I... Was that real?

N: What are you saying?

K: I don’t know. What happened?

N: …This is your fault, you know.

K: I–

N: And it’s obvious, it’s not what you wanted.

K: What do you mean?

N: You should have listened to me. Your network makes you valuable.

K: Why are you–

N: The great Harbinger has fallen! You’re not often held face to face with the consequences of your actions, are you? Must be a strange experience the first time.

K: Shut up.

N: …

K: …

N: …someone woke up on the wrong side of the rubble.

K: Where are we? And why can’t I see anything?

N: …

K: Hello?

N: I thought you wanted me to shut up.

K: Oh gods. How did I manage to get stuck with you?

N: It takes a rare brand of bad luck.

K: You’re not helping. I need to think.

N: By all means; take all the time you need. Meanwhile, our impending death closes in by the minute.

K: What the hell is going on?

N: Why bother asking me? You brought me here. We could have avoided this if you’d kept your word.

K: I don’t know what this is! You’re speaking in riddles.

N: You were supposed to be better.

K: …

N: We really don’t have the time for this.

K:  …Didn’t you say someone was coming to look for us?

N: Oh. Did I?

K: Yes. Why won’t you tell me anything?

N: I’ve said things.

K: Nothing that makes sense.

N: Might have been the wind. It whispers all sorts of strange words.

K: Please, just tell me what happened.

N: I… can’t do that, Kells.

K: Why not?

N: You know why.

K: I’m entirely lost.

N: If you must know we’re trapped under the debris from the building explosion.

K: I–

N: But it doesn’t matter. We don’t get to pick our graves.

K: What explosion? What happened?!

N: …

K: Are we– are we in an accident? Are we waiting to be rescued?

N: You aren’t serious.

K: Kells… you said that before. What does that mean?

N: It’s what I call you.

K: ...What do I call you?

N: …Nemesis. It’s… a joke we have. ...Are you okay?

K: I– I don’t know. 

N: …

K: It’s hard to focus.

N: You seem disoriented.

K: Yes. That’s it. I just need you to explain to me what happened.

N: That’s kind of the problem.

K: What is?

N: Well… you happened.

K: …what?

N: Kells… what do you remember?

K: I… I don’t– I… oh gods. How did I get here? What–

N: Work your way backwards; tell me what you know.

K: Why should I tell you anything? You won’t answer any of my questions.

N: Listen. I know I’m kind of a jerk. But you know me. Just think. Isn’t there some part of this that feels familiar?

K: I’m drawing a blank.

N: What about the lake? What is that?

K: That was… a dream, I think. Oh this is so confusing.

N: …

K: …I could hear the water. But I can’t anymore. 

N: And?

K: There was a light, shining on the lake… I was walking on the surface, but I didn’t have a reflection. And there was a secret, hidden under–

G/J: If you can hear me, don’t say a word.

N: …Kells?

G/J: I don’t know what’s going on, but it shows that you’re near the enemy. Maybe even in the same room. Keep quiet. They might not know that you’re there. 

K: I… have a headache.

G/J: We’re going to get you out, Kelsey.

Kelsey.

N: You alright?

K: …yes. I’ll be fine.

N: Okay. Sure. 

G/J: We’ve been searching for hours. Oh gods, Kelsey…

N: …You were telling me about your dream.

K: It’s hard to remember the rest.

N: …the lake? Something about a secret.

K: Yeah. There was something at the bottom of the lake. Every time I swam closer it moved farther away …That’s all I remember.

N: Nothing else?

G/J: If possible, you should activate your life signal on the headset. That way we’ll know if you’re responsive.

K: Then I just woke up… in the dark…

N: I see.

K: Can you… hear me?

N: Uhh… yes.

K: Are you… going to start explaining?

N: I really am sorry it has to be this way.

K: what way?

N: It is your fault, but I still feel a little like I’m to blame.

K: How is this my fault? I don’t remember anything. I don’t even know who you are!

N: Nice to know I can still keep the great Harbinger guessing.

K: I’m the Harbinger and Kells? You shouldn’t keep me guessing. Why won’t you take this seriously?

N: Ha. You sound like yourself.

K: …

N: Sorry. You know me; jokes are how I deal. There’s just… something I have to tell you.

K: I wish I did know you. That would certainly make this easier.

N: …Thank you.

K: What?

N: Nothing. I um…

G/J: Okay, Kelsey, I’ll walk you through it.

K: Yes?

G/J: There should be a switch by your left ear. That will activate the tracker in your headset.

N: I just…

K: …

G/J: Now, make sure, when you’re reaching for the switch that– 

N: Okay.

G/J: you don’t touch–

N: …Okay. There are people coming. But they’re not here to rescue us.

G/J: –because that will turn off my voice.

K: What? Why? Don’t they know we’re here?

N: It’s a little more complicated than that. There are things we know, things you know, that would change the world if brought to light.

K: Is that… a bad thing?

N: It’s the worst possible outcome.

K: Why?

N: Some knowledge in the wrong hands… you don’t know what that could do.

K: But… I don't remember! How could I tell them any dangerous information if I don’t know any?

N: Are you really going to risk the fate of the world on the chance that you’ll never recover your memory?

K: What else am I supposed to do?

N: That’s just it, Kells.

K: …what?

N: You have to kill yourself.

G/J: I don’t think she can hear me.

K: I… no. What?

N: I’ve been thinking about this, for a while. I woke up hours before you did. There’s no other way out.

K: Isn’t there something else we could do?

G/J: Let’s not take any chances.

N: Trust me. Don’t you think I would have thought of it?

K: …Is this real? It feels wrong.

N: Slow down, Kells. Focus on what you know.

K: You’re the one with all the information. As far as I know, you brought me here.

N: –don’t.

K: what.

N: say that. This is as hard for me as it is for you.

K: Why didn’t you just kill me? When I was asleep?

N: Kells, I wouldn’t just… anyways, I’m trapped. My lower half is pinned under something and I can’t reach you. I already tried. To reach you, I mean.

K: I don’t remember. …Are you okay?

N: That doesn’t matter now.

K: …what about you?

N: What about me?

K: What will happen to you when I die?

N: I’m dead anyway.

K: I’m… sorry.

N: Don’t be. It’s better this way.

K: Doesn’t help me much. 

N: I see your characteristic callousness is returning.

K: Just– if I’m supposed to die, how am I going to kill myself?

N: Grab a rock, or something.

K: I… can’t move. My arms are stuck.

N: Great. Scheisse. Okay. Is there a way you can… press your mouth against something, so you can’t breathe?

G/J: …managed to reset her headset remotely to activate the tracking signal.

N: Kells? I know I’m asking a lot of you here.

K: hhh I think… they’re coming to find us.

N: …that’s right, Kells. We can’t be here when they arrive. Their doctors could keep us alive long enough for them to torture our secrets out of us.

K: Why are you so sure that we aren’t going to be rescued? Don’t we have people on our side looking for us too?

N: They’ll never get here in time. And the risk is too great.

K: How can you know?

N: The enemy is faster than we dare to be.

K: You… seem to know a lot about them.

N: It’s my job to.

K: …

N: Here is what I know. They will do whatever it takes to get that information out of your head.

K: But I–

G/J: We’re about 6 minutes from her position.

N: Kells, I’m sorry, but you have to do this. You don’t understand. There are people I care about… 

K: …

N: We have to be the strong ones.

K: Are you sure there isn’t some way–

N: Yes.

K: Well even though you’ve been up for hours, you might have missed–

N: Hours? I woke up shortly before you did.

K: No. You said you’d been awake for hours before I woke up.

N: …You’re misremembering. I said it felt like hours.

K: You’re lying.

N: I would never lie to you.

K: Who the hell are you?

N: Kells, we’ve been through this before–

K: Don’t call me that! That’s not my name.

N: You’re being ridiculous. I know you better than you know yourself.

K: I don’t believe you.

N: Kells…

K: Stop!

N: …

K: …

N: …

K: Who am I?

N: …Kells?

K: I want to know before I die.

N: …You’re a scientist. You’re always concerned with doing things the right way, never mind the cost or consequence... You’re our Harbinger. You’ve been keeping secrets… which, A, that’s kind of your job, but B, not like this. They drew you in, and we followed…

K: Nemesis… have I ever… killed anyone?

N: Yes. 

K: Wh–

N: Don’t ask about it. There is a lot you have to doubt. But never doubt that you’re a good person. You’re on the right side.

K: …How do we do this?

N: Okay. I think there should be a pouch of some sort. On your shoulder. 

K: I can’t reach it.

N: Can you… tilt your head?

K: Mhmm. Which shoulder?

N: Uhh the right. No, the left.

K: …found it.

N: Bite into it.

K: Then what?

N: Then you die.

K: wait what? That’s it?

N: Minuscule but potent poison.

G/J: Closing in.

K: I… don’t know if I’m ready.

N: It’s fast acting. Just make sure you take it before the enemy gets here.

K: …How do I know that you’re not my enemy?

N: I– Kells, what would make you say that?

K: You could be lying to me, trying to get me to kill myself before my rescuers arrive.

N: …How like you, Agent Wreden, to doubt the ones you’re supposed to trust.

Agent Wreden. My name is Kelsey Wreden.

G/J: Let’s end this.

K: Nemesis, they’re here! I can hear them through my headset.

N: What?!

K: I have my poison. Are you going to be alright?!

N: USE IT! You’re more important than me!

K: What about us?!

N: I’ll meet you in the light. Do it now, Kelsey! Go!

I woke up in the light.

“Why am I here?” I was surprised at the hoarseness of my own voice.

“I have some questions I need to ask you.”

“I–”

“I’m sure you have your questions as well. We wanted to ask before we returned your memories, so you may feel a little confused.”

“Am I… safe?”

“Yes. We’re on your side.”

“What about–”

“Nemesis is safe, too. Tell me: What led to your final decision? How did you know what to do?”

“I didn’t. I just… had to trust.”

“Explain that for me. What did it take to gain your trust?”

“I… don’t know. I didn’t really trust either of them.”

“Then why did you take the poison?”

“I had to… why am I not dead?”

“This will all make sense in a moment. Why did you have to, Kelsey?”

“I had to trust myself.”

I left the simulator debriefing room. My friends patted me on the back, acclaiming me for furthering humanity’s mission. It was good to see them again, but there was one face I was most excited for. At the back of the crowd, apart from the others, Nemesis flashed his best smile.