INTROVERTS SUCCESS LOWER

With my situation alone at 41 years old, I still don't have a life partner. My mother always told me to look for a potential life partner so that my mother could calm her heart before she breathed her last. My mother felt that she had a big sin burden if she didn't marry me as a responsibility as a parent who gave birth to me. It's not that I don't want to find a future wife for my old age, but there are many reasons that always delay finding the right person as my lifelong friend.

The reason that often haunts me is the trauma of my parents' broken home, I am very afraid of hurting my wife physically and mentally and not being able to provide physical and spiritual support and proper education if I have children. With a broken home, family background, and being the last child of five siblings, I have always been a victim of regret for my older sister and brother because I am not yet financially established so that I become my mother's 24-hours maid because they all feel proud to have jobs as civil servants with funds promising old age pension, I'm just to be an errand boy they say. There is also a lot of pressure from neighbors who always provoke emotions, not to get married because I don't have a permanent job.

My suffering has gotten heavier since living in my hometown. Every day I have to try to be patient with bullying from a rude neighbor who wants to take over my mother's legacy. I also have to think about my future if all my sisters are no longer financially helpful when my mother dies. With the capital of a limping fighting spirit, I tried to build the spirit of life to become a successful online writer in order to be able to marry according to my mother's expectations. It was my mother's hope that she would soon marry a village woman as a home tailor so that I would not be the subject of ridicule from the villagers again. But my desire to have a partner who matches the level of education and social status is still quite high. Because when I lived in the metropolitan city of Jakarta, I quite often met and dated well-established women which ended in failure. The shadow of having an established wife is still buried in my heart. Sometimes I still feel I'm an introvert because in my entire life I've never had the girlfriend of my heart's dreams physically and financially.

I am a person who does not have the courage to approach directly, only able to go through social media and meet for a moment with a limited wallet capital as well. Maybe I became an introvert because of limited finances so I was never successful as an extrovert in finding a life partner. Many people say I'm an extrovert even though I'm actually an introvert which, when I meet someone who can lighten the mood can make me an extrovert. The factor of the unhappy family environment since childhood until now has made me an introverted man who prefers to be alone by writing on his laptop while listening to my favorite EDM music channel. I remember Indonesian entrepreneur, Bob Sadino saying people who are good at business are good at dating. This proves that I am an Introvert because I always fail in getting girlfriends and doing business too.

Love May Not Always Keep Us Together

I've been alone for a long time since graduating high school until I was 30 in 2010. I am a quiet person who can be called an introvert. In 2010 at the end of the fasting month in the afternoon I met a male idol on yahoo messenger and we met the next day with the aim of teaching her English. She picked me up at the mall not far from her house with his 2-year-old daughter and a maid in her car in a rainy city, that became a paradise for camels or Arabs who satisfy their libido by playing contract marriages at will, to be precise in Bogor, West Java, Indonesia. Indonesia is better known for camels from the Middle East who want to enjoy sex tourism in a mountain villa environment.

The appeal of friendly and mostly beautiful Sundanese girls or women and fantastic charm makes rich men from the Middle East feel very comfortable throwing their money away for the satisfaction of momentary desires in Puncak, Bogor, West Java, Indonesia. After meeting my favorite Sundanese woman in front of the rainy city mall, Bogor, she brought me to her house and I was fascinated by her charm and independence as a single parent. I tried to teach her English as well as possible as a sign of concern for her. She has a boyfriend from Egypt who is missing communication for no apparent reason. I saw that she was a woman feeling a little lonely, but I realized that she was a little materialistic. In my heart, I really like her physically and his hospitality.

My meeting with a beautiful Sundanese single parent was not that long with her reason, she prefers to receive guests in hotels. My hunch was that maybe she was also a single parent who also sells herself for economic reasons and prestige to her Facebook friends, whether local or from the Middle East. I feel sorry and disappointed with the real situation she was in. When I returned from her house I tried to say that I like her but refused outright by saying who you are.

My heart was getting smashed to pieces. I feel like she was the woman of my choice, even though she was a single parent with her strengths and weaknesses. I try to forget her by remembering that there is not only one fish in the sea.

There is still a chance for me to fish anytime and anywhere if I feel financially secure. The ants will definitely go after sugar. Sometimes I feel stupid as, why I should want to pursue a woman's love. I should have pursued the love of the creator of heaven and earth. Indeed, love is just a joke. Love belongs only to God. I should be begging for love from a God who is all merciful and always gives me the gift of incomparable health. By being grateful for the absence of love from a life companion woman, maybe this is the best fate of my life path. Maybe love doesn't have to have forever. I just have the love of my creator.