To kill a God

Audio log 1:

So, tell me what happened. What were the days leading up to their experimentation on you?

They took the weakest ones. Mostly girls though, the scared, smallest ones. They all came back dead. The first day, most of us couldn’t handle seeing them. The ones who broke down were the ones taken first as well. The worst part was, they made us take them, as if letting them stare into us could make us obedient. It did for most, but some fought back as kids always do, only this time none of us could win. So, we learned to keep our heads down and do what they told us to.

What did they tell you to do?

To honour the Gods and build for them. We were building a city of the future where the God who gave up on humanity will live, and we will be his soldiers. 

Did they mention which God?

No. We never saw him either. We only heard him overhead when he came with more kidnapped children. 

Was it this way all the time?

I got a sense things changed for us when someone came back alive. He wasn’t weak nor was he the strongest, he’s just as inconspicuous as the rest of us. But he came back, and even his friends could see he changed. It's just different, something about his demeanour and nothing about his looks at all. No one tried to talk to him, something is just so off. Neither did he try to talk to us. Then after a few hours, he collapsed, twitched a little, and just died.

And that was the first sign of change.

Yes. That was the first time I thought maybe they weren’t simply killing us for fun.

Then?

At this point there weren’t that many of us left. They started taking anyone, not just the girls or the smallest or thinnest anymore. I gathered maybe they didn’t want the strongest left alone. Then again something changed. We only knew because they wheeled him past us, tied down, his mechanical eyes the only thing swivelling to watch us. We didn’t make a fuss, we learned that we couldn’t. So day by day we just watched him wheel past us to and fro, to and fro, until one day we just didn’t see him anymore.

And then, it was you, wasn't it.

Yes.

What was it like?

I fought back. Not because I thought I might live, or I was scared or even for self-preservation. I just didn’t want to die like everyone else. I wanted to die fighting, and if anything, it would show the rest of us we could still fight. I fought so hard I tore myself to pieces, but I didn’t care. The pain was so euphoric after weeks of numbness I didn’t stop until I physically couldn’t move anymore. But still, they took me.

Why is that?

They didn’t need someone physically whole, just someone mentally clear. Not whole, or strong, not someone who could get pounded by everything and still smile or push on or whatever. This isn’t television. They needed someone who still could have a single purpose, no matter how many pieces they broke into. Evidently my struggle showed them that.

Could you recall the details of the experiments?

Yes.

Would you be willing to recount them?

No.

Alright. Get some rest, we will continue tomorrow. Respect to the Gods.

Respect to the Gods.

Audio Log 2:

Are you well enough to continue? I understand there was an incident last night.

I didn't mean to.

It's ok, nobody blames you.

They do. The Gods do.

They understand your plight, they will be merciful.

But I took life. That's their task, not mine. 

That is not what I am here to hassle about. The Gods’ business is theirs. I merely want to understand what you are now. What they've done to you. Could you recount what they did?

Yes. They took me apart, in freezing water and in burning metal, wielded me back together.

You mentioned you were single-willed. Do you think that got you through the process? Kept you alive?

No, I don't think so. I didn't live because I wanted to, only because I couldn't die. They made sure of it. The only thing I realised was how futile living was. And how useless the Gods are.  

You don't mean that. You know our law.

Yes, of course. Respect to the Gods. 

Respect to the Gods.

…

…

May I ask you something in turn?

Go ahead.

Why haven't the Gods eradicated the rogue God?

He is a God. The Gods cannot move against a God.

Cannot, or will not?

Are you questioning the Gods?

I simply wish to know why several hundred dead children do not warrant a simple look into the matter of too much power in the Gods’ hands.

They are Gods. They do things for mysterious reasons. We must only trust in their wisdom.

Wisdom, or recklessness?

This discussion is over. Thank you for your time.

No, wait!

Respect to the Gods.

…

Audio Log 3:

Please. Please release me. I've got a family, a wife, children!

So, when were you going to tell me you are a God too? And if you didn't care about us, why should I care about you? Why should I listen to your laws when your laws are blind?

How dare you! How do you have so much strength to oppose a God?

Your kind forced this onto me, thinking I’d be your willing soldier. To fight and die for you when you have only made me a monster. What gives you the right to manipulate mortal lives to your whims and fancies? 

Are you going to kill me to prove a point?

No. I think I’ll just leave you here. What kills a God better than rendering him powerless?

And now what does this make you? Another God? 

No… I’m not like you.

Oh, you're not? Judging the lives of all Gods and deciding who lives and who dies now?

…

See, you yourself couldn’t even see what you've become. This is why there is a law, to keep monsters like you from killing us all. 

…

Maybe we didn't make you. Maybe you were always meant to be this way.

Then I feel much better doing this.

Wha- what are you doing? Where are you going?

To kill a God.