Make Things Right

Submitted into Contest #252 in response to: Start your story with a character being followed. ... view prompt

33 comments

Drama Fiction Suspense

This story contains sensitive content

Trigger Warning: stalker, thoughts of suicide, and murder

Susie continues walking down the dark alley, wondering if she is doing the right thing.

“Should I trust my saviors?” she asks herself.

For weeks, this man has been following her wherever she goes. Whatever establishment she visited; this man would be there.

“Why?” she asks herself. “There is nothing special about me. I am not popular and no beauty contest winner.”

But in this crazy world, you never know what is going through someone’s head. All she knows is the stalking needs to end. She already went to the police, but they would or could do little for her. She felt like they would step in after she has been raped, beaten, and possibly killed. Too late for her, as either the rest of her life is scarred or extinguished. Susie has other plans.

“Tonight this will end.”

She felt the presence of her stalker a ways back, keeping in the shadows with little success. He always tries to stay fifty or more feet behind her, and always wears a baseball cap, which probably made sense in the shadows, but seeing him plainly in sight on numerous occasions made her wonder if he has much common sense.

“Find out what you are all about, creep,” she says.

Not far from her, around the corner, is her cousin Norm and good friend Steve. Both are bouncers for the Blue Stork, a famous nightclub in the city. They will take care of this stalker and life will return to normal.

Closer and closer to safety as the corner approaches. She does not dare look back for, upon seeing each other, he might rush upon her before her cousin and friend can save her. Instead, she walks a little faster.

“Let this end, Lord,” she whispers.

She is a couple of steps away, feeling the weight start to lift away when there is a flash behind her, which makes her scream.

Upon instinct she turns around, “What the…?”

There is no one in sight and no feeling of his presence.

Her cousin and friend rush out to position themselves in front of her with their fists up, ready to pounce.

“Where is he?!” cries out Norm with a growl.

“Ready to break all of his bones!” yells Steve.

Both look around, but no one is in sight.

“Where is he?” asks Steve.

“Wasn’t he following you?” asks Norm, turning to Susie.

“Yes,” she replies in befuddlement.

He can go nowhere but back to the alley’s beginning, a hundred yards away.

“I don’t know where he went,” she says as the three continue to look around.

The loss of his wife devastated Henry. For them to find out she had cancer taking her life a year later tore him apart.

They married almost a year before the diagnosis, spending the entire time adventuring and loving life together. Plans of having a child or two after their first year approached, but not to be.

Deep depression set in for Henry to where he lost his job. Luckily, they were good at saving, so he had some time before the money dried up. Family and friends tried to console him with little luck. Unhealthy thoughts flooded his head, but the ones who cared kept him from falling off the cliff.

The day came when Henry finally stepped out of his home. He realized that if he did not depart his home every so often, his life would continue to spiral into the depths.

Henry decided to go to the restaurant he frequented often with his wife to have his favorite meal. He found a spot far away from the table he and his wife sat at often.

The people who worked at the restaurant knew of his wife’s passing, so did what they could to console him. He sat down and it did not take long for his favorite dish to be placed in front of him. Henry quickly realized how ravished he was as he devoured the meal. Then a glass of his favorite red wine was placed. It was a time when he and his wife drank slowly and talked about past events. Now, he was alone, staring at the couples or families at the other tables. Then he had to take a second glance at one table. Even though her back was to him, she had turned her head, and it was his wife's face.

“Not possible,” he thought.

He stared for the next thirty minutes as she received her food, ate, paid, and stood up to leave. He received another side glance as she walked out the front door.

“She looks exactly like my wife,” he muttered as he put money on the table and quickly left the restaurant.

It was the beginning of the next few weeks of him seeking her out, finding her time after time. Every time seeing her, his mouth dropped, for she looked so much like her. Every time he thought of going up to her to introduce himself but did not have the guts to do so.

“What will I say to her?” he asked himself. “Hello. My name is Henry, and I wanted to meet you because you look like my dead wife.”

He could not do that, so he just stared and occasionally followed.

He wondered if he was going down a dangerous path by always following her. He would never hurt her, but she did not know that.

The day came when he knew it was time to meet her and see where it went. She was at his favorite restaurant once again. Once she left, he followed, kicking himself for not going to her in the restaurant. Too late now. As he followed, she did not go to her vehicle in the parking lot, but into an alley.

“Strange,” he thought. “And not safe at all.”

As he followed, he knew this was it. There was nowhere to hide, so he needed to assure her he was no monster if she turned around. He walked a little quicker and was about to call out to her when there was a flash.

Henry opens his eyes, realizing he is lying on the ground. He also realizes someone is looking down at him. As his vision clears, his eyes widen in shock for the man looks like him. But this man has a black eye, swollen shut, and a cheek resembling a red balloon. Blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth as the man winced in pain as he shifted.

“What the hell?” Henry says as he shuffles from the man until his back strikes a brick wall.

“Don’t run,” the man says, trying to stand, falling in pain. “We need to talk. To make things right. At least for you.”

“You look like me,” says Henry in confusion.

First, he sees a woman like his wife. Now a man like him. Is this world going mad?

“I look like you because I am you.”

“What…?” Henry says, but not able to finish as the man held up his hand.

“I do not have much time, so shut up and listen. I do not know what exactly is going on, but I hope it is a way to redeem myself. For I stalked this woman who looked like my wife until I got myself in trouble. Trouble bringing a premature death. You were moments away from getting pounced on. Two men will take your life as they mercilessly beat upon you. Many lives are ruined as your life is taken, the men jailed, and the woman who looks like your wife is traumatized. Also, everyone who is connected to the four of you. I am here to stop this from happening.”

“This is too much for me,” says Henry as he slowly stands up. “Did I lose my mind?”

“No, but you need to stop following this woman or you will become like me. Now, my time has ended.”

Another flash.

Henry opens his eyes, lying on his bed. He sits up and sees it is early morning.

“Did I have a nightmare?”

He gets out of bed and paces around the room, wondering what has just happened. A dire warning? Dreamed it all? Whatever happened, he needs to stop following this woman because he feels it is more than just a nightmare.

“Maybe it is best.”

A week later, his sister comes over and tells him there is a woman he needs to meet. At first, he declines, but upon her insistence, he relents.

“She will meet you at your favorite bench in the park on Thursday at ten am sharp.”

“Sure.”

The day comes, and he arrives at the bench a little early. He looks to the ground, wondering if this is a clever idea.

“Henry?” a sweet voice asks nearby.

Henry looks to his right and sees the woman he has been following. His mouth drops open as she also looks in shock.

“Wait!” he calls out as she is about to turn and flee. “Please Susie! Do not leave!”

She slowly turns to him, wondering if she should run from this stalker. Looking at his sorrowful expression, she wonders if he is a creep. If anything, she is in a park where others are around.

“Let me explain,” he says. “And tell you how sorry I am for not having the guts to come to you earlier.”

She decides to hear him out but does not feel comfortable enough to sit down.

Henry explains his loss, his spiral down, and trying to get back on his feet. Then to see her and having a tough time coming up to her to talk. Throughout his conversation, he apologizes profusely and breaks down into tears near the end.

Susie sits down and takes hold of his hand. Then she tells him of also losing his spouse close to the same date he lost his spouse. And now, upon a closer inspection of him, Henry looks remarkably like her spouse. Is this meant to be?

The two relax as they continue with their conversation and end up going to a place to eat.

It was a month after they met that the conversation of the night in the alley came up. Both were stunned when each told of their story.

“I thought I had a nightmare,” says Henry.

Susie just looks at him for a moment, then a grin appears. “Looks like it was meant to be, no matter how bizarre.”

“Yes, indeed.”

As they leave their favorite restaurant, Henry hopes the alternate Henry is now resting in peace.

May 30, 2024 02:21

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33 comments

Kim Meyers
15:26 Jun 07, 2024

If only we all had some kind of guardian angel. Nice job!

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Suzanne Marsh
19:23 Jun 20, 2024

Great read, it would be great if there were guardian angels in our midst and who knows perhaps there are.

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Lee Kendrick
14:48 Jun 10, 2024

Nice little story, Corey. And a twist at the end. As soon as I read about the first flash, straight away I knew a paranormal situation was going to occur! Good idea! Will keep an eye on your next stories. All the best.

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09:16 Jun 07, 2024

Thanks for reading my story "Today" Corey :)

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John McPhee
18:38 Jun 03, 2024

Great suspenseful tale Corey. I enjoyed the approaching confrontation and its resolution. One small thing, not sure if it has been pointed out already, but there is one small typo: "Then she tells him of also losing his spouse...." I'm sure you meant 'her spouse'. But I thoroughly enjoyed this story.

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Corey Melin
22:31 Jun 03, 2024

Ugh! That is correct. Should have been “her”. Now I lost the contest. LOL Thanks for the comments

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Galaxy Grandeur
15:50 Jun 03, 2024

Thank you for the like on my story. I love your story idea :)

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Stevie Burges
09:18 Jun 03, 2024

Thanks Corey - excellent story - thoroughly enjoyed it.

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04:09 Jun 03, 2024

Oh wow! So he survives what was going to be his death. Such a clever story. Well done.

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Corey Melin
04:24 Jun 03, 2024

Thank you for the comments

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Danielle LeBlanc
14:48 Jun 02, 2024

Great story, Corey! Your characters are well developed. I love that we got to know the stalkers point of view. It's kinda like Walter White in Breaking Bad. He was doing bad things, but his initial motivations were rooted in the love for his family and wanting to provide (as an example of characters I love who are well developed no matter how "good" or "bad" they are, if that makes sense). Thanks for penning this down and sharing with us all! I look forward to reading more of your work :)

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Corey Melin
04:24 Jun 03, 2024

Thank you for the comments and the character is quite similar to Walter

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Helen A Smith
13:53 May 31, 2024

I wonder how often this maybe not so unlikely scenario happens. I believe that “types” of people are drawn to one another. Obviously, it wasn’t a great idea to go following a woman and not introduce himself straight away and explain why he was drawn to her. On the other hand, a bit of an alternate reality in here. It seems the double was warning Henry of the consequences of his behaviour. Not the “usual” kind of stalker. But is there a usual kind? Good story with different angles.

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Corey Melin
21:43 May 31, 2024

Thank you for the comments. The stalker situation was unusual. Most stalker situations are dangerous and it was my beginning plans for the story but then decided to go another route

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Helen A Smith
05:37 Jun 01, 2024

That’s always interesting when that happens. If feels like the writing has a mind of its own and takes you on a different journey to the one intended. I like that and think you did the right thing going with it.

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Corey Melin
16:30 Jun 01, 2024

It definitely does. Sometimes I have a outline while other times I write and let my imagination take complete control

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11:55 May 31, 2024

Thanks for checking my story "One more decision" :) One question: would you consider it needs a warning for "sensitive content"?

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Corey Melin
00:53 Jun 01, 2024

Thank you and left a comment on your story

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Alexis Araneta
08:41 May 31, 2024

This one made me catch my breath a lot. Absolutely gripping, Corey !

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Corey Melin
00:54 Jun 01, 2024

Much appreciate the comments

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Trudy Jas
03:51 May 31, 2024

Hey, Corey, I was a little worried about Suzie when she went into a dark alley, telling herself it wasn't a smart thing to do, but did it anyway. Like the ad: "But there's a running car right there! No, let's hide behind the chainsaws." LOL At the first flash, I decided to let go of reality as I know it and enjoy the fairy tale. You wrapped it up lovely, with the princess getting the prince. :-)

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Corey Melin
04:55 May 31, 2024

You are correct. People go to extreme measures to hope to end their dilemma even when it threatens their life. Definitely a reality in this crazy world we live in. Thank you for the comments

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Suzanne Marsh
21:04 May 30, 2024

Great story line, it certainly had a great many twists and turns. Well done.

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L. D.
20:02 May 30, 2024

Wow. A bit of a brain twister, but I'm glad it turned out ok. :) My question: at first I thought Henry was having a dream/vision, but then I remembered Susie actually saw him and the "flash", so...was Susie also having a dream/vision of going down the alley or are you suggesting that both Henry and Susie have doppelgangers in alternative realities who got crossed for a moment in Time?

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Corey Melin
00:06 May 31, 2024

Henry thought he was dreaming but the Henry who met his end was able to cross into the alternate universe to warn him so hopefully the tragic end doesn’t repeat itself over and over.

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L. D.
00:35 May 31, 2024

Ah, gotcha

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19:31 May 30, 2024

This story is really twisted, but I liked it… I can imagine the scenes as if they were in a movie, the movement of the camera… really good reading experience!

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Corey Melin
00:00 May 31, 2024

Thank you for the comments. This story had more twists than planned. The first outline didn’t have a good ending for Henry

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19:29 May 30, 2024

Thanks for liking my “persuasion”

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Mary Bendickson
04:31 May 30, 2024

Unusual stalker. Thanks for liking my 'Not Another One!' And 'Southern Persuasion'. And 'Follow Me'. And 'Secrets That We Keep'. Also, 'Day The World Changed'.

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Corey Melin
23:58 May 30, 2024

Yes indeed. Wasn’t easy to write about a stalker. You are welcome

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Kristi Gott
02:45 May 30, 2024

Suspenseful and mysterious, with plot twists and surprises. Well done!

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Corey Melin
23:56 May 30, 2024

Thank you for the comments

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