The Good of the Sun

The rain was coming down in literal sheets, but Carine didn’t have any other choice than to drive through it.

It was ironic, honestly, that the rain was coming down in sheets and Carine was desperately holding back her tears from doing the same thing. Were she calmer, were she less worried, less stressed, less filled with anxiety, then she could analyze her situation with the Greats, with the guest speaker she had gone to listen to at the community college the week before. But she wasn’t any calmer, she wasn’t any less stressed, and she felt so full of anxiety that it was choking her the way Landon did when she gave him piggyback rides. She wasn’t anywhere near the level of the analytical skills of that guest speaker or any of the Greats or barely any of her classmates that obviously didn’t care about the subject. So, no, she couldn’t analyze her situation, she just knew that she was pissed and anxious and scared. So, so scared.

The future of their team, Goldie’s entire future career was on the line, because her father was an absolute rat bastard who took out all of his insecurities on his daughter. 

And Goldie, god, that girl had the self preservation skills of a toothpick.

But no, it wasn’t fair to attack Goldie as if she had done something to deserve it. She hadn’t, she had done everything she could to stay safe and stay out of his way. She had spent the night with them that semester more than she had at home with various excuses as to why she wasn’t in her own house with her father. At least she had excuses, her mom and older sister had ditched as soon as they realized what kind of man he was. 

And she knew that she would never be able to put herself in Goldie’s shoes, she would never feel the contrast of love and hate towards one person the way that Goldie did. Towards Richard, there was just a deep pool of curdling hatred, and she knew it would only grow within the coming months; she was 18 and ready to testify if Goldie or her lawyers needed it.

But none of those thoughts were as eloquent as that. In fact, her mind was racing so quickly that she barely registered the car that was swerving into her lane until it was almost too late.

The sobs escaped her mouth before she registered that they had bubbled up in her throat. Her phone was in her hand and dialled to her dad’s number before she could think.

“Carine?” her dad sounded tired, like he always did. Life as a principal with five children of his own wasn’t always kind, “What’s going on.”

“Dad-” she choked down another sob, but her dad was always good at reading between the lines.

“Hey, kiddo, what’s going on?” There was a pause, a faint jingle of keys, “Did you crash? Where are you, I’ll come pick you up.”

“No, I didn’t- I don’t think I crashed. Someone drove into my lane but I pulled off in time.”

“Okay,” his words were drawn out as he thought of a response, “What’s going on then? What do you need, kid?”

“Can you come pick me up? I don’t think I can drive right now.”

“Of course. Where are you? Do you need anything else?”

She glanced at the road sign, “I think on Palomar.”

“Closer to Pam’s or Mr. Chi’s?”

“I don- Dad, I don’t know,” she hated how weak she sounded, but she couldn’t help it.

“That’s okay, Kiddo, that’s totally fine. I’ll find you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.”

When her dad pulled up a few minutes later, Carine’s breathing had become a little bit better, but she gladly handed over control of the vehicle to him and crawled into the passenger seat with a nearly nonexistent amount of grace.

“Gosh, it’s raining cats and dogs out here,” her dad barely ever swore, which often gave him the air of an aloof, naive, goofy man, but right now, it was just comforting, “I don’t think there’s been a storm like this since we’ve moved here.” They had moved after Carine had finished sixth grade and her dad had taken the call to Southern California.

“Did it ever storm like this in Wisconsin?”

“Oh, plenty of times.” He merged back onto the road and started in the opposite direction of their house, “In Sheboygan, it was a Tuesday afternoon. At least out here, no one drives because they don’t know how to in the rain.”

Carine nodded, and jumped when a crack of lightning was followed by a deep, rumbling boom of thunder shook the frame of her car. 

“I’ve always loved this weather,” her father mused.

“It’s so grey though,” Carine said, “It’s like all of the happiness has been sucked out of the world.”

“But sometimes, life is like that. The world is just grey, nothing seems to go right, everything is lethargic in a completely wrong way. But then the sun comes out again and it’s alright again,” he responded, “We need the grey to remind us of the good of the sun.”

Carine felt her face screw up as she pushed back another wave of tears. God, she’d need to rehydrate after today.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked. 

She sniffed, “I told you I stayed overnight at Sav’s last night but I didn’t tell you why.”

“There was a reason? I thought it was just for another sleepover. You do it often enough.”

“Goldie was in an accident last night. She has a concussion-”

“Concussions heal-”

“-and she tore her ACL-” her voice cracked again.

“-and that also heals,” he said more carefully, “a longer healing window, but it will still heal.”

“But her entire future relies on this-”

“Carine, what happened?” he asked, “I know all three of those girls are your friends, but I’ve never seen you this upset.”

“Dad, the rumors about her dad are true.”

He was quiet for a minute, “Does she have somewhere safe to stay?”

Carine wiped her eyes, “She’s staying with the Birch family.”

“Good.”

It was quiet for a little longer until he said, “I’m sorry you’re watching your friend go through this, but I am so proud of you for sticking by her.”

Carine sniffed, “I wasn’t supposed to tell you. Goldie didn’t want anyone to know. We found out for sure at the beginning of the year.”

“Who is ‘we’?”

“The three of us, Zach, and Coach.”

Her dad nodded, “Anything that happens next isn’t going to be easy. You know that, right?”

“I know,” her voice came out softer than she was anticipating.

“But, we’re all going to be here for her. She’s not going to be alone, because she has you four as an amazing support system. And you have so many adults willing to help you too. Everything’s going to be okay. Okay?”

She nodded. 

Outside, the rain had tapered off to a drizzle and the sun began to peek out from behind the clouds. A rainbow shone faintly in front of them, and Carine laid her head back and took a deep breath.