Seventh Time's The Charm, Right?

Trigger warning: Child loss.

***

The pregnancy test in my hand is like a bad omen, only there to taunt me again and again. I've already lost so much, I can't afford to lose more. But the seventh time's the charm, right?

I stare at the pregnancy test, feeling the tears prick at the corners of my eyes. How many times had I gone through this same routine? Too many to count. Yet, each time felt like the first - with a mix of hope and dread swirling in my chest.

I couldn't bear the thought of another loss. I had already experienced so much heartbreak in my life. Losing my parents to a car accident was devastating enough. But when my husband left me shortly after, I felt like my entire world had crumbled around me.

I had picked up the pieces as best I could, but the loss of my unborn children had been the hardest to bear. I had lost six pregnancies in a row, each taking a piece of my soul. This was the monster haunting my life.

I couldn't bear the thought of going through that pain again.

But with the seventh test, there was a flicker of hope. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time, I would be able to carry a child to term and have the family I had always dreamed of. The thought of holding a little bundle of joy in my arms was enough to make me want to risk it all again.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm the whirlwind of emotions raging inside me. When I opened them again, I looked down at the test. The two lines were clear as day, confirming what I had been hoping for.

A smile spread across my face, and I let out a sigh of relief. Maybe this time, things would work out for me. I vowed to take all the necessary precautions to ensure that this pregnancy would be a successful one.

For the first time in a long time, I felt a glimmer of happiness. A new chapter of my life was about to begin, and I was ready to embrace it with open arms.

***

It was the day after the due date, and I was pacing back and forth in the hospital room, waiting for any sign that my baby was ready to enter the world. My stomach was tight with anticipation, my heart racing with excitement and fear.

I had done everything I possibly could to make sure this pregnancy was successful. I had followed all the doctor's orders, taken my prenatal vitamins religiously, and avoided any activity that could harm my child. But, as always, there was a nagging doubt in the back of my mind. What if something went wrong?

Just as I was about to lose my mind with worry, the door to the room opened and a nurse walked in, a smile on her face. "It's time," she said, her voice calm and reassuring. I felt a surge of adrenaline rush through my body as I followed her out of the room. Every step felt like a lifetime, my heart pounding in my chest with each passing moment.

Finally, we arrived at the delivery room. The doctors and nurses were all prepped and ready to go, their faces serious but reassuring. I took a deep breath and lay down on the bed, trying to steady my nerves.

The labor was long and painful, but I focused on the end goal - the moment when I would finally meet my baby. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the doctor announced that it was time to push.

I let out a deep breath and pushed with all my strength, feeling the pressure in my abdomen increase with each push. Suddenly, there was a cry - a high-pitched, beautiful sound that filled the room.

Tears streamed down my face as the doctor placed my newborn child on my chest, their tiny fingers curling around my own. The feeling was indescribable - a mix of joy, relief, and overwhelming love.

I looked down at my child, feeling a sense of awe wash over me. This little being was mine - a product of my love, my pain, and my sacrifice. As I gazed into their eyes, I knew that I would do absolutely anything for them, no matter what the future might hold. I was a mother now, and nothing would ever be the same again.

***

The next few weeks were a blur of sleepless nights, endless feedings, and diaper changes. I was exhausted, but every time I looked at my baby, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. They were growing so quickly, gaining weight and developing new skills with each passing day.

As the months went by, I found myself adjusting to motherhood more and more. I learned how to soothe my baby when they were crying, how to manage the housework while juggling a newborn, and how to deal with the constant worry that came with being a parent.

But despite all the challenges, I was happy. Happier than I had ever been before. My baby was the light of my life, the reason that I woke up each morning with that motherly love in my heart.

And as I watched them grow, I knew that I was doing everything I could to give them the best life possible. I wanted to be there for every milestone, every laugh, every tear.

As time passed, I felt like I had found my place in the world. I was a mother, and that was all that mattered. My past heartaches and struggles were still with me, but they no longer defined me. I had a new purpose in life, and it was the most important one of all.

Looking back, I couldn't believe that I had ever doubted myself. That seventh pregnancy test had brought me the greatest gift of all - the gift of motherhood. And as I held my child close, I knew that nothing else in the world could ever compare to this feeling of pure, unconditional love.

Years had passed since the day I became a mother, and yet the love I felt for my child had only grown stronger. They were no longer a baby, but a confident and curious child, eager to explore the world around them.

I watched as they ran around the park, their laughter ringing through the air. They were so full of life, so full of joy. I felt a pang of bittersweet sadness at the thought of how quickly they were growing up. It felt like only yesterday that they had been a tiny, helpless infant in my arms.

But I knew that this was all part of the journey of motherhood. Watching them grow and change was a privilege, and I treasured every moment, and every memory.

As I sat on a nearby bench, watching my child play, I reflected on all the hardships I had faced along the way. Losing my parents, my husband leaving me, the six failed pregnancies - it had all been so difficult to bear. But through it all, I had found the strength to keep going, to keep hoping for a better tomorrow.

And now, as I watched my child laugh and play, I knew that every moment of heartbreak had been worth it. They were the light of my life, the reason that I had kept pushing forward, and I would do anything for them.

As the sun began to set and my child started to tire, we began to make our way back home. I held their hand in mine, cherishing the warmth and love that flowed between us.

As we walked, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of what the future held. There would be more challenges and more heartaches, but I knew that we would face them together.

Because that was the beauty of motherhood - no matter what the world might throw our way, we would always have each other. And with that thought in mind, I looked down at my child and felt a sense of peace wash over me.

"I will always love you."

"Really, mommy?"

"Yes, dear."