Silent Whisper

Maven was lost. 

This was his third nightmare this week, and on top of that, High School wasn’t getting that much better. Everyone was bringing up colleges and transcripts and plans for the summer senior trip. Everyone he knew seemed to have a plan. 

Kilorn was going to graduate and take up a blue-collar job down at the wharf. His father had spent Kilorn’s entire childhood training him for the industry, so no one was really surprised when he revealed it. His girlfriend Cameron was taking a similar route, only she was going to work at the local mechanic shop with her twin brother. Said something about wanting to stay close to family since Kilorn would be working so often. Shade and Farley were about finished in their military training, and that was all anyone knew for sure about them, but there were rumors about the two getting engaged. Evangeline, to no one's surprise, was still mostly living off her parents' money, but had been thinking about getting a job as a seamstress. Although, the idea could probably be mostly chalked up to Elaine convincing her to get a job. Maven’s own girlfriend, Iris, was overseas with her family, mostly to help her mother with her father’s funeral, but was planning to come back in time for the first college semester and study philosophy. It wasn’t an orthodox means of career choice, but if anyone could make it work, it was her. And of course, His brother, Cal, was in the midst of a simple engineering major, while his high school girlfriend and Maven’s best friend, Mare, was waiting to graduate with Maven so that she could start a teaching career, and her relationship with Cal again. 

Everyone had some sort of plan going on. Meanwhile, Maven was sitting on starting an idea before something personal would come up again. The most recent thing being the death of his mother. Sure, he missed her, especially since she had died just a few weeks ago, but part of him was also relieved. She had a tight, controlling personality that, frankly, scared him. When his father and Cal had offered to help him sort through her stuff, he refused, saying that he could handle it himself, that it was a private matter. They understood. To be real, Maven didn’t think they liked his mother all that much. She had been Tibe’s first marriage and Cal’s stepmother, and she honestly seemed to scare them too. It was probably better for them if they didn’t see him tear up over her. 

And this is why he should be focusing on other things. 

Maven sat up in bed, not making any move to get up. Usually, he could remember his nightmares, if only in little snippets. Maybe a vision of a person on fire, or an image of himself wailing over the sound of shattering glass, or even the ever-present pitch of screaming, but not lately. Now, he’d be lucky to remember what he was doing in his dreams, or if he was just looking from the outside in. It seemed that his memory faded along with his mother. For the time being, he just sat up, staring at the wall, wanting to move and not wanting to leave the bed at the same time. 

Eventually, his phone lit up. 

Forcing himself to turn to his nightstand, Maven looked at the notification. Iris. If anyone was going to bring him out of the funk he was in, it was her. 

Hey, you up?

Yeah, I’m not doing much. How are you doing?

Mostly hanging out with Mom and Tiora. They are both really insistent that I stay for as long as possible. They’re probably planning on keeping me till the first day of classes. <3

Hey, I’d enjoy it while I could. You could always be mourning your father in your house by yourself, while your mother and sister go skiing or smth. 

OMG! I heard about your mom! Is that what your family did?

Actually, no. They helped me set up the funeral and everything, even if they didn’t come, and Cal has not shut up about making me move into his place for the time being. I agreed to a small summer vacation at his apartment just to make him stop. 

Well, at least your brother still cares;)

Yeah well, I do wish he’d stop being so touchy-feely with me. I thought that was what he had a girlfriend for. 

Oh, shut up! That’s just his way of saying he loves you! You should really talk to him about this. Might give you a chance to release all that darkness and silence inside. 

You know what that’s like? 

My dad did just die. I feel like I would have some experience. Hey, maybe we can start a club! Would bring us closer as SigOs 😀

See, this is why I love you! Goodnight Babe. I can’t wait to see you, however long that might take :(

Love you too, Goodnight. 

Maven put the phone aside feeling a little lighter. It was crazy how much Iris affected him like that. She was like a tidal wave against any inner war he would bottle up inside him. And because that tidal wave always seemed to drag him along, he found himself dragged out of bed and heading to the kitchen. 

Cal’s apartment was by no means small. It amounted to a small penthouse, overlooking the cityscape of New York City. An ornate two-bedroom, two-bathroom setup, complete with full furnishing and Wi-Fi. While Maven would never admit it out loud, he did think it was a nice setup (so much so that he could temporarily forget about the whole “dead mother that he might hate” thing). As he rounded the corner, attempting to head for the fridge, he was surprised to be met up with Cal, in his pajamas, on his phone at the countertop. He immediately looked up to see Maven stop in his tracks and threw him a quick but genuine smile. 

“Hey!” 

“Hey.”

“Do you need something?”

“Just a drink.”

“Okay,” Cal got up to head to the fridge, meanwhile Maven simply stood there awkwardly. 

It was weird, him and Cal. The two had never really fought, had never said anything overly hurtful or what one could consider “relationship-shattering.” In fact, when Maven had come out to their friend group as bisexual, He made it a top priority not to tell their parents. His mother would have actually buried him. But he had told Cal. And Cal had welcomed him with open arms. It was just that, Cal was always so overly nice, and gentle and soft, to everyone, but especially with Maven, and he never really grew out of it. It didn’t help that Maven loved his mother, but she absolutely hated Cal. Her obvious favoritism would often pit the boys against each other over petty things, so inconceivably small that they would instantly get over it the next day. Nowadays, there was always this air of awkwardness whenever the two were left alone together. They just didn’t get each other now. 

Maven was brought back to reality when Cal placed a cold can of Cranberry sparkling water in his hand. “Thanks.”

“No problem. You sleeping okay?” Cal seemed to be choosing his words very deliberately. 

Maven took a few seconds to answer. Usually, he’d blow Cal off, or anyone, really, whenever they asked how he was doing, but he was thinking about what Iris had said. As morbid as the thought was, Maven could probably connect with Cal much better now that his mother was gone. Taking a deep breath, Maven shot the gun first. 

“I actually haven’t been sleeping well for the past five days.” He said with an askance look.

The tension contracted for a short minute as both boys thought of what to say. Finally, Cal spoke up. 

“I can probably imagine,” He walked over to Maven and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Look, Mavey, I’m sorry Dad and I couldn’t come to the funeral, but-”

“You didn’t like her,” Maven cut in before Cal could repeat the same spiel again. 

“Neither of you did, and I understand. Really, I do. Sometimes there were days when I didn’t even like her,” A small crack in his voice cut off the start of an insistent ramble. 

Oh no

“No! No, Mavey, it wasn’t that! And even if it was, we still should’ve been there for you…” Cal trailed off as he attempted to pull Maven into a hug. Maven immediately shrugged him off. 

“I mean it. She wasn’t a good person, even if I loved her, she did, so much that I’m still trying to recover from, and I just…I just want to forget about her right now.” Maven hated the way his voice was slowly climbing in pitch. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried in front of Cal, but God forbid he do it here and now. 

“That’s kinda why I agreed to come here. You didn’t want anything to do with her, and I figured you are probably the farthest thing away from who she was, so...” He made a vague motion with his hands, hoping Cal would get the message. He wasn’t always that dense. 

Cal took another agonizing minute to respond. Maven was debating changing the subject immediately himself, when Cal finally spoke up. 

“Mare just texted me this picture of a sea bass that Kilorn caught. He recently took her and Gisa on a fishing trip.” Cal held up his phone, displaying the comically taken photo of Kilorn and Gisa trying to balance a two-foot-long fish on either end. Mare’s thumbs-up was clearly in the foreground. Maven couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Sure’s not a dull moment ever since she’s come into our lives, huh?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t tell you how lucky I am,” Cal got that familiar look in his eye whenever he talked about Mare. Honestly, it was almost comical how his six foot, built-like-a-freaking-tank brother looked like a small puppy whenever Mare was so much as thought of. 

“Hey, who do you think introduced her to you?” Maven said with a slightly amused expression. It was true. Mare had met Maven first, and he would be remiss if he said he didn’t have a slight crush on her at first. It took some serious maneuvering around his mother, but he even managed to invite her over to his house a couple of times. But surely enough, Mare came to his house while Cal had been home, and the spark had ignited almost immediately. Maven had been, let’s face it, a little jealous, but something about the way Cal looked at her told him that this wouldn’t be a small fling like Cal’s multiple hookups with Evangeline. This would become something real, and Maven always felt a surge of pride whenever he saw his brother’s lovestruck face. 

“I know, and hey, I owe you big time for that one. I might actually make you the Best Man at our wedding just so I can let everyone know how lucky I am.”

“Wait, like actually?” 

“Yeah. Marrying my best friend and partner in crime with my other best friend and brother at my side. How many guys can boast about something like that?”

“I guess not many. You really want me at your wedding?” Maven asked with a downcast look. 

“Of course, Mavey. I know we haven’t really talked a lot recently, but you’ve been an integral part of my life. I love you.”

Maven had to mentally step back at the last statement. Cal’s main professions of love took the form of random side hugs and rough hands messing with his hair, but almost never words. And Maven certainly couldn’t picture himself saying them back. It took him a long instant to answer back.

“Wow. And here I was thinking you were looking to find a place far away from this town and…”

Me

“…everyone”

Cal looked on with a solemn expression. “Mavey.” The weight of the air seemed to collapse onto the room. Maven said nothing as his brother slowly walked up to him and placed his hands on both his shoulders. “You know I’ll always be here for you. If you ever want to talk or get out of the city for a few weeks or even if you just don’t wanna be home, you can come to me. I’ll never turn you away.” The sincerity in Cal’s eyes was making it hard for Maven to hold eye contact. He instead vouched for leaning slightly forward. Cal took the invitation immediately. 

Both brothers stood in their awkward version of a hug for a long while, Maven slowly melting in the embrace while Cal blanketed him in his arms. They stood there just breathing in each other’s scent, the long hours of the night finally starting to take their toll. Sleep had just about claimed Maven as he pulled away. 

“Thanks for staying with me,” He punctuated the statement with a yawn. He thankfully didn’t have to elaborate. Cal seemed to get the message through his lazily blinking smile. As Maven entered his bedroom and collapsed back onto the bed, he looked onto the cityscape to a thousand bright lights and fell asleep to a few car horns.