Not Always Easy

And then he left, and now, I’m alone and the tv’s off.  Crap.  My name is Fluf.  I wake up.  Well, my man wakes me up, takes me outside, and brings me in, and I fall asleep with my Sweetheart (not my man).   Then, my man takes me to work and he still doesn’t understand what I do.   I’m the Security Guard.  I tell my man, but he doesn’t understand.  Some ladies can relate.  I’m also small.  So, I’m stuck here and I need to get home to my Sweetheart.  My Sweetheart is going to be worried sick.  

    Then I remember, she’s almost always outside.  Silly Fluf.  She’s probably right out the door and’ll take me home.  I push on the door and a wind chime rings.  That’s weird, but good.  Usually my man locks the door before he goes home. So, I push with all my might and the door opens and I rush out.  

    Now, my man always says. “We’re looking for the blue car with a plus sign.  My Sweetheart tells him a Chevy sign isn’t a plus sign, but I don’t care.  I’m color blind, so I have to look for a plus sign.  Then I realize the parking lot is empty.  Damn it.  Where’s my Sweetheart?

   So, I sit and wait for a bit, (for my Sweetheart) but she isn’t here yet.  She’d never forget me, she loves me too much.  But, the sun starts to go down, so I make a decision.  I have to go home to my Sweetheart 

    So, I’ve gone to work and home hundreds of times, so I start walking.  My kind can always find our way home.  Always; and I smell Walmart.  So, I head toward the smell of Walmart and it takes a few minutes, but I make it.  There are ten cars in Walmart.  One has an “H,” another has a crooked “H,” and there are a lot of other symbols, but no plus sign.  I hope Sweetheart won’t be mad.  

    I go to the end of the parking lot and turn left, since that’s what Sweetheart always does.  I have to find the round circle thing Sweetheart drives round.  I have to.  I’m getting hungry and thirsty, too.   I wish my man had remembered me.  It’s getting cold, too, and I don’t have a coat.

     So, I’m walking home and I hear a loud screech sound.  I stop and shiver.  I’m not sure if I’m shivering because I’m scared or because I’m cold.  Then I see them:  trash raccoons.  I see one to my left, so I turn right, and there’s another raccoon there, so I  go backwards, and there’s one there too.  They’ve surrounded me.   All I have to defend myself is my teeth.  I shiver and growl.  I don’t want a fight.  I just want my Sweetheart.  

   So, I see a space between two of them and I feel the adrenaline hit my veins and I run towards that space and, by a thread, I make it.  They chase me, but I see the circle.  I see the circle.  My man always says it’s the second right in the circle.  They’re still behind me.  Then, I trip over a dead rabbit.  I’m still shivering, but I see the raccoons so I keep running   Then, the raccoons stop at the dead rabbit, and start eating it.  So, I keep running and, after an hour, I finally see the traffic light we turn left at.  It’s colder.  

    My man always says this is the long stretch. This’ll take me hours, my legs are aching, I’m panting, and my stomach is growling louder.   My Sweetheart must be worried sick. 

   And then Restaurants are to my side and it’s like torture.  Cheeseburgers, chicken, ham, fish.   I go to one of the doors and look inside, but no one’s in there and the lights are out.  

    After 2 hours, I turn left.  I wish Sweetheart was here.  I look around for raccoons and take a break on the soft grass.  I got to stay awake though or else I’ll never get back to Sweetheart 

    I keep going.  Finally I see the sign for my home and it’s only 4 blocks away.  Then, someone sees me.  It’s an old white guy walking in his pajamas.  

    “Hey, Little Buddy.  Are you lost?”

    I think, “No.  I’m almost home, “ but he picks me up and looks at my necklace.  He then takes me to his home, gets his cell phone, and makes a phone call.  

    He takes a bowl from his cabinet and gives me some water, which I drink.  He also gets some Cole-cuts from his fridge that. I eat.  It feels good.  

    In five minutes, my Sweetheart comes and she thanks the nice man and takes me home.  Sweetheart and my man have a big fight.  She’d just gotten home when Sweetheart got the phone call.  She said he was irresponsible, immature, and she should break up with him for being so selfish.   I’m scared, because maybe now one of them will leave, when all I wanted was to be back with my family.  

    After the fight between them, we watch the news and Jeopardy.  I’ll tell you, it’s not always easy being a dog.