Dear Sadie

Dear Sadie,

Since we aren’t able to speak, I guess I’ll resort to emails. I feel a little foolish, but, if this is the only way we get to talk, then I’ll type. I know you won’t write back, but that’s okay. Returning phone calls or text messages has never been your strong suit. You would be much more likely to show up on my doorstep than to answer a text message from me asking if I should wear my blue shoes or my white sneakers. Speaking of, I’m wondering what I should wear this weekend. What do you think? Should I go with the business suit and blazer, you know, look all professional and cool and put together? Or, go more casual with khakis and maybe a scarf? I know, I know, you hate when I wear the scarf. What do you say? Stop being so Kathryn Hepburn! I can’t help it. I like the scarf. My grandmother wore scarves. Right. I’m not helping my argument with that comment. Please do not tell me to wear something outrageous. Only you can pull off the neon tights and the sequin blouses. It takes a very brave person to call that much attention to herself. I am not that person. I’ll sign off for now.

love,

Liza

Sadie,

I didn’t mean anything when I said that about the neon tights. You, of course, looked fabulous at the club. I saw your post on instagram and picked you out of the crowd instantly. You always look so chic and confident. Even Xander said ‘Wow!” over my shoulder when he saw your picture. 

hugs,

Liza

Dearest Sadie,

Remember that party and Mickey’s house you dragged me to when we were in high school? I think it was just before our Senior year, and we had just gotten out of work. Oh man! We worked at that diner! With the creepy manager who kept ogling you all the time! Remember him? He always made sure you got most of the tips - but you shared them with me anyway. Anyway, that party? I was thinking about how you were always ready to go to a party and I always wanted to stay home and watch movies and eat pizza. That party was when Xander and I kissed for the first time. Did I ever tell you that? It was really comical. Neither one of us expected it. We were playing Truth or Dare and Mickey dared Xander to kiss me. He leaned over and kissed me! I’m not even sure where you were, probably dancing on a table somewhere or singing Karaoke or playing poker and winning everyone’s chips. You’re just good at everything, right?

love always,

Liza

My Darling Sadie,

I wish you would write back to me. Say something. Anything. I’m desperate.  You are probably too busy being social. You have always had a packed calendar. You have back to back invitations like a chain smoker. I don’t know how you keep your life organized. Now that is funny. I’ve always been the organized one in our friendship. I like to have everything planned out. I don’t have a spontaneous bone in my body. If I could plan my sneezes so that I would have a kleenex and hand sanitizer on hand for the moment I sneezed, my life would be bliss. Unexpected rainstorms throw me into a tailspin. Do you remember that semester you studied in London? You invited me to come for spring break? What were your flat mates called again? Tillie and Millie? Gemma and Emma? Poppy and Bopsy? Flopsy and Mopsy? They were worth my trip all by themselves! The two of them were sooo funny! I think they were drunk the entire time I was there. I wonder if they actually ever graduated or if they just partied their semester away? You took me to that pub where we had fish and chips that was served to us in a paper bag? We thought it was so we could throw it out faster, but it was so good we went back again the next day for more! Take away food is just served in paper bags in London, but we didn’t know that. I am so glad you dragged me to London. I never would have gone if you hadn’t been there and asked me to come. And I would have missed out on Tillie and Millie’s matching red bobs and terrible teeth!

all my kisses,

Liza

My Sweet Sadie,

Have I told you that Xander and I are staying in our apartment until this pandemic is over?  We work from here. We have our groceries delivered here. We don’t even see the person who delivers the groceries, he leaves them on the front step and then we go get them once he is gone. We aren’t taking any chances with coming in contact with anyone. It’s been hard not seeing our parents and families. We really miss our moms and dads. We try to talk on the phone with them, but it’s just not the same. I have FaceTimed with my parents a few times, but that is literally like talking to a wall. They will have the phone pointing at their forehead, or the ceiling, or my mom’s chest. I think I am going to stick with the good old fashioned phone calls. Or maybe I will resort to emails like I am writing to you. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, but I do think my mom will at least write me back once in a while. Sorry. I’m just saying. I know you’re busy, but remember me once in a while? You don’t want to forget me, I have too much dirt on you!

all my love,

Liza

Sadie, 

I can't believe that you think the news isn't real. And that you don’t understand how serious the pandemic really is. Your office shut down. Everyone is working from home. We all have hotspots and WIFI. Everyone is demanding chromebooks and netbooks and ipads. The technology is having a hard time keeping up with the demands that the quarantines are requiring of everyone. We are all making compromises. This isn't fake news. The virus is real.

Liza

My Sadie,

Today is the day. Today is the day I need to say goodbye to my best friend. My friend who pulled me out of my shell in high school, even when I just wanted to stay home and bake cookies. My friend who danced and laughed and partied her whole life. Right up until the very last breath she took. It is because of this that she took her last breath. My Sadie, you lived life without regret. You lived everyday like there was no tomorrow. Maybe it was because of this, you knew you were going to leave us early and had to live life to its fullest? I know you aren’t going to answer me. I know you aren’t going to write back. But if you could, just give me some indication that you hear me? That you see me? That you know I am here? That would be amazing.

your Liza

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Sadie, my sweet Sadie,

I knew you would show up. Everyone was so somber. Your mom was inconsolable. I didn’t even know what to say to her when I walked up. All I could do was hug her and move on. Then the minister droned on and on about flowers and clouds and green pastures and heaven knows what all else; I stopped listening. Then this gust of wind! It had to be you! You took my scarf! It was wrapped around my neck one second and gone the next! Then the wind was gone along with my scarf.

This is how I know it was you.

Enjoy wearing my scarf.

You will look fabulous.

loving you still,

Liza