Finding Nima

Nima Adams is an African-American woman in her late 20s that lives in Chicago as a college professor. Before marriage, children, and a job working at a university Nima was in a rap duo group with her best friend at the time Collete in the mid-90s. When Nima and her best friend Collete decided to end their rap careers in the early 2000s they left that life behind them and parted ways. Nima has not spoken to Collete in 20 years. During these years, Nima realizes that the person she stares at in the mirror isn't someone that she can define. She had lost herself by putting everyone's needs before her own and didn't know that she was losing herself while doing it. Come with Nima on this Journey of finding the person she truly is.

Nima Adams opens the door to her home and is greeted by her only daughter Tammie. Tammie is 12 years old and is currently in the 7th grade.

"Hi, Mommy."

Nima hugs and kisses Tammie before heading upstairs to change out of her work clothes. After hours of being in bed alone reading a book Nima's husband, Simon enters their bedroom quietly. Nima takes her eyes off the page that she was reading and looks in the direction where her husband is standing by the closet putting his shoes down.

"Hi, Sweetie, sorry that I am coming home late again, busy day at work."

Nima rolls her eyes at the lame-ass excuse that her husband repeatedly says every time he comes home late at night.

Simon gets into the bed with his wife and kisses her on the forehead before shutting his eyes to sleep.

Nima aggressively closes the book and shuts off the lamp.

It is a Saturday morning and Nima decided to make a trip to the grocery store since Tammie used the last of the milk for her cereal.

Nima walks to the refrigerator with the milk and grabs a gallon. As she places the gallon of milk into the cart a woman with a "Lee's groceries" shirt approaches her.

"Nima?" The woman says inquisitively

Nima looks up and realizes that the woman is her childhood friend Collette.

"Collette?"

Collette giggles and Nima joins her.

"Nima, how are you?"

"I'm ok., How are you, Collette?"

Collette points to her shirt "Well, you know where I work."

Nima giggles "Yes, I guess I do."

"Well, Nima what are you doing tonight? We should go get dinner and catch up and laugh about old times."

"I have a family now Collette."

"Oh ok, how many kids do you have?"

"Just one she's twelve and her name is Tammie."

"Oh, wow congratulations!!"

"Yeah, I can still go out with you tonight though. I need to get out my mind has been someplace else."

Collette shakes her head "Ok, well I leave out of here in an hour."

"Ok, see you tonight"

Collete and Nima hug each other tight then part ways.

Later on that night Collette and Nima are in Collette's apartment drinking a wine cooler laughing and enjoying each other's company.

"Nima you know Ive noticed something you haven't spoken about that husband of yours."

"Oh because there's nothing to talk about."

Collete stares at her childhood friend with a face full of confusion.

"What do you mean thy shall love till death do us part."

"What script did you read that off of?" Nima asks her friend while bursting out loud.

"Why don't you want to talk about him?"

Nima sits up straight on the brown comfy couch that she and her friend are sitting on.

"Because I don't what to say the wrong things. Collette, I don't even know who I am anymore. One moment I was doing shows rapping with my best friend beside me and then the next I am a college professor with a stranger for a husband and a precious daughter that I barely have time for due to my busy schedule."

Collette sits up straight up and gets serious.

"Oh, I am sorry Nima that you feel that way about your life. But, life is meant to move fast you have to be at the same pace as it or you will be left behind."

Nima takes small sips of the mango wine cooler that sits in between her two palms.

"I understand what you said but in life, you are not supposed to lose yourself. Ive lost the person that I used to be. I can't even look at myself in the mirror because I can't seem to identify that woman that is looking back at me. I stay with a man that cheats on me every night"

"Nima, how do you know that he is cheating on you?"

"Because he comes home late every night with the same lame-ass excuse he never changes the script."

Collette places her half-empty wine cooler bottle on the coffee table that sits in the center of her living room.

"Well, what are you thinking that you should do?"

"I am thinking that I should find Nima. Find the person that I used to be."

Collette shakes her head no.

"Why are you shaking your head no?"

"Because the person that you used to be is no longer alive. You have to find the person that you are meant to be now."

"But, I don't know that person."

"That's the purpose of finding who you truly are."

Collette picks up her bottle and taps Nima's bottle "Cheers."

The next day Nima is sitting in her bedroom writing on a notepad the things she must eliminate to be this new person that she is trying to discover. The first person that Nima writes on her list is Simon her husband. Later on that evening after supper Nima kissed Tammie goodnight and went into the kitchen to clean the dishes. Simon comes through the front door about to make his way upstairs when he hears movement coming from the kitchen. Simon left his jacket his suit and suitcase on the sofa in the living room and made his way towards the kitchen. As Simon enters the kitchen he sees his wife Nima humming to herself while cleaning the dishes in soapy water.

"Nima?"

"Yes, Simon."

"I thought that you would be in bed."

"Why? It's only 6:30 pm."

Simon looks at his watch to double-check the time and realizes that his wife is right.

"Oh ok, I didn't notice how early it was."

"Yeah, because you always seem to come home at the same time every night 1130pm."

The word shame is written across Simon's face. He hadn't known that his wife was keeping track of the nights that he returned home late.

"Simon, I would like to speak to you if that's ok with you?"

Simon nods his head yes.

Nima turns the nob to the kitchen faucet and leaves the rest of the dishes in the sink. Nima and Simon sit at the dining room table in the dining room.

"Simon, I don't know if you noticed but I am not myself. I haven't been myself in the last 10 years. I have forgotten who am I. You know how I know that Ive lost myself because I am still married to you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"The woman that I was 20 years ago would've never allowed a man like you to treat me like a 2nd choice. You don't think I know what you have been doing?"

"Nima Ive told you that I have been busy with work. There is no other woman involved."

"Yeah, but you say the same script every time you come home. Whys that? Because you don't want me to question you about where you've been."

"Nima you are blowing this situation out of proportion. I am not fooling around with another woman. I would never do that to you. Tammie and you are my families."

"If Tammie and I are your family you would be here to at least eat dinner with us. Tammie asks me all of the time where are you and I tell her that you are busy with work but then I get this feeling that I am lying to my daughter because I don't even believe that myself."

Simon reaches for Nima's hand but Nima pulls her hand away.

"I hate to say this to you Simon but we are done. I want a divorce. I want to start a new chapter in my life and I don't want to start that chapter with you in it."

"A divorce? Are you even thinking about our daughter?"

Nima gets up from the table 'That's the purpose of me getting the divorce I am doing what's best for our daughter. I don't want her to grow up and think that it is ok to be with a man that steps out on her."

Shortly after this day, Nima went on a journey to find the person that she was meant to be and found herself. Simon and she are officially divorced and after 20 years of absence, Collette and Nima are best friends again.

Nima finally looks into the mirror and realizes the woman that she is and she is proud of this woman.