Almost Paradise

Evelyn Crane was glad they had prearranged this funeral. She couldn’t imagine picking out these flowers or this casket in her current emotional fog. She and her husband Harold had planned all of this years ago, before COVID made people hesitant to get together and before they had lost most of their closest friends and family. That’s the danger of living into your eighties that nobody talks about. That your funeral will inevitably be sparsely attended. 

Evelyn nervously twisted the program in her hand while the pastor spoke to the few in attendance about the man that Harold was. Smart, strong, dependable. Loving and devoted. He covered most of Harold’s finest qualities. He did not touch on his frugality or his stubbornness. Those would be saved just for Evelyn to remember. 

Although, obviously, frugality was not the worst of his misdeeds or he would still be alive today. She chuckled at the thought and then scolded herself. Keep it together, Evelyn. Five hours from now, you will be on your way to another life. 

Evelyn quietly slid down in her seat and reached underneath into her purse. She fumbled around frantically for a few seconds until she found it: the first-class airplane ticket to Hawaii. One way, of course. She used almost all the money in their bank account to buy it. The upgrade would be worth it, as she knew her bones were going to ache and stiffen during the nine-hour flight from Chicago. 

Hopefully Harold’s insurance money would come through soon. She would need enough to live on. But her luxurious oceanfront home should be waiting in paradise for her at that very moment. And she was very careful to word it just that way. _I wish for a fully furnished, luxurious, oceanfront house in Hawaii. _After the disaster that was the first wish, she learned the importance of being grammatically accurate. _Be careful what you wish for, she thought. On a whole new level.

Harold’s sister was at the podium now, talking about what a brilliant brother he was. Her protector. Evelyn was able to stifle the snicker this time. If she only knew…

Harold had been certain of his impending death when he decided to divulge his secrets to Evelyn. Almost like she was his priest. She came close to stopping him, but could see in his eyes how important it was to him to unburden himself. And after fifty years of marriage, she felt she owed him that small kindness. 

He unloaded 82 years’ worth of mistakes on her that hot July morning, eight days after we said that first wish out loud. His admissions were mind-boggling; everything from cheating on an Algebra test to cheating on his high school sweetheart with her best friend. From faking a work engagement in order to miss his sister’s wedding to killing a man during hand-to-hand combat in Vietnam. And that’s what must’ve done it, right? Sealed his fate?

This whole situation was Harold’s fault, really, Evelyn thought, as the pastor spoke the Lord’s Prayer. He was the one who found the damn lamp at the pawnshop and brought it home. And he was the one who insisted Evelyn be the one to make the wish. It was so like him to avoid responsibility by shifting it on to her. Well, it did not help him this time. That’s for sure. 

Finally, services concluded, and Evelyn hailed a taxi to take her home. She hated being at the mercy of others for transportation, but her poor eyesight had forced her to give up driving years ago. Sure, she had plenty of offers from family and friends to drive her home, but she politely declined; she had no interest in conversation about what happened to Harold and what was to be next for her. There had been so many deaths over the past couple of weeks—the population of several major cities had decreased by 20%, if you believed the news broadcasts—and many more to come. Her disappearance would likely slip by with little notice. 

Once home, she packed only one bag, debating on whether she could get through security with the lamp. Ultimately she decided it was a chance she was going to have to take. Surely there was no written rule about the matter. And she was going to need the lamp with her to manifest the third and final wish. Ah, that third wish. What possibilities she had hoped it would hold. Unfortunately, it would likely have to be wasted taking back the first wish. But she was going to wait it out a bit, just to be sure it was necessary. 

Evelyn spent the flight daydreaming about paradise to come. She would arrive in Hawaii midday; hopefully in time to grab her suit and hit the beach located right outside her door. She spent all of her eighty years living in Chicago, Illinois, and had her fair share of windy, rainy springs and bitterly cold winters. Sure, there were a few weeks each year where you could feel the warmth of the sun beating on your skin while enjoying the lakefront. But she had always craved witnessing the vast beauty of the ocean, feeling the sand between her toes. Harold always came up with an excuse why they couldn’t travel to such places. But Evelyn knew the truth: he was cheap. Well, he couldn’t hold her back anymore. 

It really was unfortunate how badly that first wish went, though. When she’d made the wish for world peace, she thought it had been a safe wish. An unselfish wish. A philanthropic wish, even. She thought she would be a hero. How was she to know that wish would mean that so many people would die? That the only way to accomplish world peace would be to weed out a large percentage of the population, including her husband?

Evelyn remembered clearly the moment when she and Harold realized the consequences their wish had caused. They were watching the evening news, as they did every night. The reporter was talking about the unexplained deaths, the increased death tolls, the lack of explanation for the drastic increase. How data was showing that the phenomenon began last Sunday night. She and Harold had looked directly into each other’s eyes and didn’t have to say a word. 

In the week before his death, Harold and Evelyn had watched the news obsessively, looking for patterns that would give them some indication of who was in danger. They concluded that people who were a threat to peace were the ones dying. But what if they were wrong? What if it was random, a certain number of people just chosen out of the blue? She had to hold onto her wish, just in case. 

At last, the plane safely landed in Kona. Evelyn grabbed her belongings, discreetly checking to make sure the lamp was still there, and stepped out of the aircraft. The warm ocean breeze hit her in the face, and she could feel and taste the salt of the sea. It was as wonderful as she imagined. She walked through the open air airport and out onto the street, easily spotting her Uber. She climbed in the back; catchy island music was playing on the radio, and she relaxed into her seat. 

The driver confirmed the address, and they were on their way. Evelyn watched the beautiful scenery out the window; the mountains in the distance, the palm trees blowing in the breeze, the majestic contrast of the blue ocean and the black rock at the shoreline. 

> ”Excuse me, driver? What is all that black rock?”

The driver smiled.

> ”This must be your first time here. Welcome. That is lava rock. You will see it all over the island.”

Uncertainty washed over Evelyn. She had been expecting white sand beaches, not lava rock and mountain goats. She took a deep breath, leaned back in her seat, and closed her eyes, doing her best to push away any lingering doubts. 

> ” We are almost there.”

The driver’s voice startled Evelyn awake. It had been a long day. A soft rain was sprinkling the windshield, but with her dream home being so near, it did little to dampen her mood.

> ” I hope this weather clears up soon,” she said. “I can’t wait to get to the beach for some fun in the sun.” 

The driver glances back at her through the rearview mirror. 

> ” Well, Miss, you are probably going to be waiting a while. Unless you drive to the other side of the island.”

> “What do you mean?”

> “This is Hilo, ma’am. One of the rainiest cities in the world.”

He went on after that, giving statistics about how much rain they got in the average year and talking about the plants that grow. Evelyn didn’t hear him. The uncertainty she felt earlier became a firm ball of doubt lodged in her chest. Since Harold found that lamp, nothing had gone as planned. In fact, life had changed drastically for her, but for the worse, not better. She could feel tears burning her eyes and threatening to unleash themselves. 

> ”Here we are, ma’am.”

Evelyn looked out the window to find the most beautiful, imposing house she had ever seen. The sheer enormity of the building was startling, combined with the top-to-bottom walls of glass. Her spirits began to lift. This is my new home, she thought. Where I can relax and live out the rest of my days.

Evelyn grabbed her bag, thanked the driver, and headed towards her new home. She struggled with the rocky climb to the front door, and knew that she would need to invest some money into getting a proper porch built, as she wouldn’t be able to navigate that walk much longer. She used her key to open the massive double doors, crossed the great room to the kitchen, and set her bag on the counter. Her eyes wandered the kitchen. It was amazing, and she knew that she really would’ve appreciated the rows of cabinets and double oven if she had ever learned to cook. Evelyn ran her finger over the hard, smooth surfaces. Her kitchen back in Illinois was less than half this size. Had it only been half a day since she’d been in it? 

The sliding glass door leading outside drew Evelyn’s attention, and she crossed quickly to gaze into her backyard. Well, not a yard, exactly. It seemed as if someone had transported the house from somewhere else and deposited it hastily onto a slab of lava rock next to the ocean. Evelyn realized that, with the steep drop off, she wouldn’t even be able to dip her toes in the water. 

She was stuck. In a house that was too big. Next to an ocean that she couldn’t touch. With no transportation. And no company. She had to sit down. 

Evelyn pulled a bar stool up to the counter and sat. Something felt off. And not just emotionally. Physically, too. She felt lightheaded, and her fingers were going numb. Evelyn shook out her hands and flexed her fingers rapidly. No, no, no. This was how it started for Harold. The beginning of the end. 

She and Harold had been at the dinner table when he had suddenly put down his fork and started wringing his hands. 

> “Evie, I don’t feel so good.”

His breathing had become labored and shallow next, and she could see his skin take on a bluish tint. By the time she could get herself moving and reach his side, he was gone. 

Now, Evelyn clutched her hand to her chest. Was her breathing changing? It seemed harder to take a breath, didn’t it? Was it already too late? If it wasn’t, it soon would be. 

Evelyn raced to the kitchen table and threw open her suitcase. She snatched the lamp and rushed out the back door. The waves were beating ominously against the rock, the wind howling at her back. She looked up at the sky, and saw more stars than she ever knew existed. She had a hard time conjuring an image of the stars from her backyard in Chicago, and it saddened her to realize how much she missed. But, now, she had an overwhelming view of the stars and the ocean, one that she had always dreamed of, and wasn’t willing to lose it now. She rubbed the lamp as she had twice before. 

> “I wish to take back my wish for world peace.”

A chilling calm swept over her. She no longer felt the wind, no longer heard the waves crashing. Everything was still. The pressure in her chest seemed lighter, and Evelyn took a deep breath. Maybe everything was going to work out. 

Evelyn was about to turn back to the house when she felt it: a surge of electricity in the air so powerful the hairs on her arms were vibrating with energy, her mind and body buzzing loudly. What the actual…? She took a step towards the ocean when she felt the thump in my chest. She did not hear the explosion, but saw the flash of white before all went dark.