Somewhere Someday

Dear Self in 2021,

If you reach this age, then I'll say you've come so far. I honestly do not know what to tell you because, at the moment, things don't feel right and fine. You were an anxious person, so I hope you aren't anymore. I mean, you're forty. You're old and surely, you've been to a lot, so why would you still feel anxious around people? Haha. Anyway, I just wanna tell you that you should follow what your mind tells you and breathe in and out when things don't feel okay with you. Stop thinking too much and probably, you will finally find what you've been looking for. But I'm sure it's not a person.

Love,

2000

"What's that?" I turned around and meet her eyes. "Nothing. Just a letter I found in the box under the cabinet." I folded the letter back like how it was folded the first time by the owner. "This house isn't creepy at all. Guess your grandma was cool when she was still alive." I smiled and swiftly returned the letter in the box. "I don't know. I didn't meet her, either my real mother." I got up from the seat and stretched my arms. "It doesn't matter, anyway. The lawyer said I'm going to get the house soon. When I finally get it, I can sell it and move to another city and proceed to college." She rolled her eyes and said "You sounded so ungrateful, you know that. You better not sell this house. You can make this as your vacation house." She roamed around the room, touched the figurine on the table, and dusted off her hands. "It just needs a little cleaning." I shrugged my shoulders. "We leave some things in the past and in order to get on the next chapter of our story, we have to let go," I said as I kicked the box back to where I had found it.

We shut the door and went to the car. "Let's play some crazy song. Why do I feel like someone is sad?" Jake, our driver for the day, honked the horn a few times before dancing like a crazy kid. "She's gonna sell the house and earn a fortune from it, so she's not sad," Jess said. "What?! Are you crazy? I know I said the house was crazy, but I was wrong, dude. It has a good interior. You shouldn't sell it." He protested. "We need cash and that house can't give us cash. I thought you two wanted to go to college. How could we enroll in the university we want if we don't have a penny? Come on!" I really made some sense on that. I mean, hell yeah, I wanna move to another city. "All right. I got your point, buddy. So, where would we have dinner tonight?" Jake started the engine and drove away from the house to somewhere. "I don't know. Any suggestion, Jess?" She rolled her eyes like she was still not done with the debate we've just had about the house. "I don't know to you, but I'm gonna grab dinner at McDonald's." I laughed and tickled her. "Oh, don't be silly. You know I hate McDonald's. Let's eat somewhere else." Jess and I fought in the backseat and I saw Jake in the rearview mirror looking at us while smiling. This may not be the casual family, but this feels home for me, so this is a family for me regardless of not being related by blood. I feel we are bound by heart. This friendship we've had for 10 years is one of those things I won't exchange for anything. "Jess," I looked into her eyes. "I hope Lily won't ground you for being home late tonight. "If she grounds, she has to ground Jake and you, too. No escape to mommy's anger." Sometimes I wonder why the world had let me grow up alone. My life was terrible at the orphanage and moving from family to family was worse. I sought genuine love until I got tired and stopped looking for it anywhere. Then, these two angels came into my life. They saved me from drowning and I promise to protect them like a sister will do to their siblings. Probably, I was not really meant to meet my father and mother, because something better was up for me. This, I guess, is the answer to those questions I had on my mind when I couldn't sleep.

Jess laid her head on my shoulder and yawned. "I wanna get some fries and burger. No diet for tonight. I'll eat whatever I want before I get grounded." Fries and burgers. I love them, too. "I can't wait to see you getting super fat, you can't wear your dresses." Jakes teased. "You're so mean, Jake. I bet you can't get the girl you like in school 'cause you're a haughty guy." Jess took a lipstick out of her bag and threw it at him. She hit him on the head. "Ouch!" We mocked his reaction and laughed. "You looked silly, Jake." "You, two!" "We, three!" We said out loud.

I took my sketch pad and drew that moment. The smile on Jess's face, The funny look on Jake's face, the giggles, the rearview mirror, the windshield, the atmosphere in the car, the streetlights we passed, the lipstick, the steering wheel, the air, and the moon. "Hold on!" Jess suddenly snapped her finger which she always did when she remembered something. "I left my handkerchief in the house!" Jake and I looked at each other in the rearview mirror. "We can't go back!" We said in unison. "I know, but that hanky is so special to me. It was the hanky you gave me on my birthday." She looked back through the back window and I remember something in the past. "We can get it when we come back again," I said. "You're going to sell the--" I interjected. "I'll have the house cleaned before selling it, so you can get it." I'll make sure when that day comes, I wi;; be grateful for my past because it made me the person I am today and it made me meet these wonderful people I might not have met if it didn't happen.